Thoughts for the Flames

Of Fake Smiles and Fire Puns

'I'm wrong... apparently'. Zuko wrote down in his withered journal. 'There's a lot of things that are wrong here... I've noticed. I think everyone has noticed... but they don't bring it up for some reason. Maybe they don't bring it up so I won't feel bad. Everything is about me... if I like it or not'. The teenager sighed and ran his hands through his hair. 'And lets just say that I don't like it. I don't like it at all'.

The young firebender was in his separate room at the Western Air Temple, laying on his stomach on his bed. Zuko had his journal in front of him, staring at him, reminding him of the event that happened a couple minutes before, likewise.

'It seems that they all hate me.' Zuko frowned as he scribbled the random words that popped in his head. 'I don't blame them. I hate me too.' Zuko tapped his pen on his forehead in deep thought. 'I didn't come here for friends though... so I don't know why I'm so upset. No... I'm not upset... I'm just...'

Zuko licked his lips. Was he upset?

'I'm just... okay I am upset. I admit it. I can't help it no matter how hard I try...'

Why was he upset? There must be a reason...

'I guess...'

Did he like them? No... why the hell would he like them? For one thing, one of the members hated his guts and rather stab him in the face than even speak to him. Thanks Katara! And lets not forget about Suki and Hakoda... they just stare at him all day long waiting for something bad to happen. My confidence raised by fifty! And Sokka, Aang, and Toph only talk to him to make him feel like he belongs when it's obvious that he doesn't. Just leave me alone! The other children are just scared of him... which doesn't really help.

'I'm disappointed. In myself. I've never really had friends before.'

'And I thought that maybe...'

'No.'

'They will never like me. They will never accept me.'

'After the war is over they will leave me. They will abandon me. Just like everyone else does.'

Zuko bit his bottom lip, staring the paper in front of him. His one good eye watered.

'Exactly like everyone else.'

It was supposed to help him, this stupid journal that he's had since he was a child. According to his mother, Zuko had exceptional writing talents... although... the teen didn't actually agree... but writing was something he did with his mother. And Zuko would do anything to be close to his mother. Even if it meant expressing his feelings to a piece of paper. Seriously though, Zuko thought. Who's going to read this rubbish anyways?

The firebender had to admit that letting out his inner most feelings to the journal made him feel better. A lot better actually. Every single time he scribbled into the old diary it was if a rock was lifted off his shoulders. A huge rock... kind of like the ones that Toph drops on Sokka to wake him up in the mornings.

Writing wasn't the only thing he did. At times of extreme boredom he would doodle random pictures of people and objects around him, soon making him an expert at the skill. Just like the duel dao swords... he mastered art all by himself. He didn't need anyone's help.

If I can teach myself to master those things... why can't I master firebending? Something that's actually important? Zuko pondered as he meditated the next morning. "Good morning, Sifu Hotman!"

Zuko stifled a groan as he opened his eyes to see a young airbender smiling at him. "Don't call me that..." The raven haired teen mumbled under his breath. Aang frowned lightly at his firebending teacher.

"Come on Zuko! Lighten up!" Aang exclaimed as a small flame appeared above the palm of his right hand. The airbender grinned at Zuko with pride, causing the teen to roll his eyes and clap slowly.

"Nice job Aang," Zuko said with no emotion in his voice. "You managed to make a fire pun and not burn down a building!"

The young Avatar pouted immediately after this was said. "I was just trying to make you smile!" Aang stated. "Now flip that frown upside-down!" He chirped, pushing Zuko's cheeks upwards. The firebender slapped Aang's hands off of him.

"I wasn't even frowning," Zuko claimed.

"Yes you were!" Aang argued back.

"No I wasn't!"

"Then what were you-"

"IT'S MY FACE!" Zuko shouted, creating a silence between the two of them.

"Wait..." The airbender said, breaking the stillness that had just started. "So your face is permanently a frown?" He questioned. "Well that's sad."

"My face can make as many emotions as yours can, Aang."

"Oh really?" Aang smiled at the firebender. "Then smile! Right now!"

Zuko let out a loud sigh before giving Aang a forced, uncomfortable smile. Aang bit his lip and responded, "You know what Zuko? I'm going to make you smile for real! Not some fake... creepy smile... but a real one!" Zuko stared at the younger boy with annoyance.

"Have fun because that's not going to happen."

"Yes it will!" Aang beamed. "Watch me make it happen, Sifu Hotman!"

More fire puns for me... how satisfying. "Don't call me that..."

(A/N Sorry for the delay!)