Dawn was fast approaching and Nemo had already woken from his slumber. He could hear faint talking outside of his refugee camp so he opened up the Minecraft wooden trapdoor and looked outside. To his surprise, it was Yousuf and Janet romancing on a dirty park bench. "Oi u dirty twats its too early for this go back to bed or do your morning prayer" said Nemo with anger in his voice. Suddenly, 300 AC130s flew over shooting up the camp. Nemo scrambled around for his pot of pataks, his naan and his precious sainsburys jacket he bought at a carboot sale for £2.50. A 105mm shell exploded on the building next to Nemo and people came running out on fire. Nemo ran for his life and left his friend Yousuf behind. Nemo bobbled up and down and reached the top of the hill after 3.4 minutes. He quickly looked over his shoulder to see Janet be completely obliterated by a 75mm cannon shell. "Fuck me! Didn't get to share my curry with her!" Nemo said as he turned to carry on running. He slid down the hill and saw 700000000 German soldiers marching up the hill. They opened fire at Nemo thinking he was part of Phillipe Pétain's defense battalion at Verdun. "Zis is for de Kaiser and Ze Fatherland!" Nemo tripped over and fell down the hill into a river. He was knocked out after he hit his head on a rock at the bottom. Hours later, he woke up and wondered what had happened. Suddenly he heard a whistle and behind him 15,000 French troops charged over the top of the trenches and got mown down by Germans AT-ATs. He was at the Somme. Nemo curled up in a ball in a crater. Somebody tapped on him from behind. He looked up it was Yousuf. "Oh Yousuf! Fuck me daddy!" Nemo screamed. Yousuf then handcuffed Nemo to a bedpole and said sorry. Nemo was betrayed. Yousuf had turned dark. Suddenly Gurdanjeet walked over the hill with a lightsaber and started swinging it around and shit and accidentally cut of Yousufs third nipple. Yousuf let out a cry and Gurdanjeet couldn't stop laughing. "Sorry Nemo but it has to be done" she said as she stabbed him in the stomach with the lightsaber. It was done. She climbed back into her private jet and took off and disappeared over the horizon. She was going for Dooby, Melow and Cheesey next.
