"So, how are we supposed to fix this?" I ask placing my hands on my hips.
"Well, uhh I mean, wellll I don't know actually I'm sorry it was stupid of me for showing you this place." Jacob turns around and begins to walk away.
"Hey! I'm glad you showed me this place. I admire how you opened up to me. I was just wondering how are we supposed to clean this place up if we're always at school and we live at least half an hour away from here." I ask worried.
"I don't know," he scratches his head.
"I guess we could try and clean it up a bit after school? But how do we put new furniture in it and stuff?"
"We don't have to I just wanted to show you it because I come here a lot if I'm upset or just want to spend some time on my own here." He sends me a half smile and I can't help but awe at him. This is the Jacob that I never see and that's hidden away from everyone. We have a moment of silence just admiring the view.
"Do you want to know?" He snaps me out of my thoughts and I stand there confused for a second before I realise what he's on about.
"If you don't mind, I don't want to make you angry or anything." I suggest stepping closer to him.
"It's fine, I think I'm ready to tell you." He takes my hand and takes me into the lonely cabin. "Just be warned, it's a really cringy reason and you probably won't want to be even seen with me after it but I just wanted to let you know so not everyone thinks that I just wanted to be a player."
"It's fine don't worry, I hardly find anything cringy because I mean look at me?" I point to myself and he lets out a small laugh.
"Well, it all started in the summer of 2014, after I finished year 8...."
x
No, no, no, no, no!
I'm currently running as if a pack of wolves are chasing after me. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm trying to go back to the boarding house, if I can bloody find it. You're probably thinking, Why's she running?!? Well, after Jacob told me the story, the story, I realised something and completely ran for the heavens. I don't know why I'm running, maybe because of what I did, or of what my parents did, but I just don't want him to see me. I feel so guilty. He's turned into this whole other person, because of me. Because of me. I can't help but replay his face when I got up and sprinted. Wow, he must think I'm a total bitch.
"North! Wait!"
That's it. That just made me gain more energy to full on sprint towards the school's field. But, knowing how clumsy I am, I'll probably trip. I spoke to soon, because I can feel myself face planting the ground. Ouch. I try to stand up but I have no strength in me to regain myself. I feel hands on me. Shit.
"North, are you okay?!?" I grunt knowing that I'll have to confess what happened. "Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine don't worry about me," I lift myself up but fall back in his arms. I let out a small smile that I've been dreading to this past 10 minutes.
"Why'd you run away North?"
Those 5 words I've been warning myself of have finally been let loose. What am I supposed to say?!? Oh yeah, that girl you texted, well that's me and I kind of ditched you for school. Wow, I'm such a bad person. "I-oh god, I-I don't know how to say this b-but I'm her." Jacob let's go of me and walks in front of me.
"What?!?" He asks sternly. I bite my lip feeling his anger rub onto me.
"I-I'm her. I'm the girl that made you waste your perfect summer. I'm the girl who you know inside and out. I'm the person who made you feel happy and safe. And I'm also the person who took that away from you. I-I'm so so sorry Jacob." My words stutter while I try to hold in the tears. I try to open my eyes through the few salty tears that come out and I see that Jacob's standing there with an emotionless face. He's just standing there....
"I'm a fuckboy...because of you." He points at me with pure hatred. "I've turned into this horrible monster...because of you." That's it. I can't help it but let out all my tears. I feel like I'm crying bucket loads. I let out a wale and try to hide my face. "Look at me now!" He shouts causing me to look up at his scary looking figure. I try to speak but nothing will come out.
"I-I'm s-so s-sorry!" I say between tears. I'm such a cunt and I deserve to die for what I put this boy through. He loved me and I loved him. Actually, not loved but love. I still love this boy even if he's shouting at me right now. I deserve it anyway.
"Sorry will never cut this." I feel a sharp pain in my heart. You know how people say how they have their heart broken? Well it's actually happening to me right now. Trust me, it's not a pleasant feeling. I look up and try to regain my strength. Before I can get up, I see one tear roll down his cheek, that's lost all its colour. He shakes his head and turns around. Leaving me sitting there for dead. I manage to get up and let out a few more wail's. It's started running and I feel the coldness hit me in the stomach. I slowly make my way back to the house and I walk upstairs back to my room.
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Authors note
Sorry for not uploading I've been busy getting a tan cuz I'm currently in Barbados! How cool is that?
Anyway, how you guys have a gd day❤️❤️❤️
Enya xoxo
