Once In A Lifetime

The Talk

Seth's POV

I haven't been able to think straight since I left Lissa's house. To find out she didn't want any children, well, hurt. I did. I wanted a family of my own. I wanted at least one child of my own. This was killing me. Cause at the same time, I knew being without her was unbearable. I didn't know what to do. So, I needed advice. I called my sister. I felt if anyone would be the most honest with me, it would be her. She arrived at my house. She came in and sat on the couch. She asked, "What's going on?"

I breathed and looked at her. "Well, I am confused about something and don't know what to do."

"Well, I guess that is why you called me, so lay it on me." She said.

"Okay. So, here is the thing. First things first, what I am about to tell you stays between us. Lissa seems to want to keep this quiet. So much so, she tried to hid it from me. But yesterday, I found out Lissa went to the hospital and she found out she had a miscarriage." I began to say.

"Oh my god, Seth." She gasped. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Well, we didn't know she was pregnant. She found out yesterday when she had the miscarriage. And I found out through her discharge paperwork she had laying around. She wasn't even going to tell me." I explained. "Well, cause I was upset that she was trying to hid it from me, we got into it. And during it, she told me something I didn't expect. She told me she didn't want anymore kids."

"Wow." Rachael seemed shocked.

"Yeah." I breathed. "Now I am confused. I love her. I do. But her not wanting anymore kids, I don't know, that bugs me. I want kids of my own so much. But then again, I know I cannot be without her. We've done it once and looked what happened."

She looked at me, seemingly as confused as me. "That is a bit of a bind." Then she asked, "She is sure?"

"Yeah, she is positive. She said the miscarriage was an eye opener for her to realize she didn't want anymore kids. I didn't take it well. I just left. I had to leave. We haven't talked since." I told her.

"You love her, right?" She asked.

"Of course." I answered. "I was willing to give up everything for her."

"Even the fact you may never have children of your own?" She asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"Look, I don't know Lissa a whole lot, but what I do know, she was in an unhappy marriage and got a divorce, then became a single mom to three kids. Do you think it scares her that she will be a single mom again with more kids?" She asked me.

"I never thought of that." I answered, honestly.

She then asked, "Have you two discussed marriage?"

"No. It's a bit soon. The only reason the discussion of children came up was cause what had happened." I told her.

"Well, bring it up, if she is unsure or doesn't want to, then we will know the problem. That she is worried everything will happen again like it did with her ex." She pointed out.

"Well, she was going to marry Scott." I made a point.

"But she didn't love him. It wasn't real to her. It was for show. But her ex husband, she loved at one point. And she loves you. Maybe getting too serious with someone she genuinely loves scares the shit out of her as she fears it will end in disaster." She said, sincerely.

I thought about it and saw that she may have a point. That having kids and getting married was probably a scary thought as she feared what would happen next. "So, what do I do?" I asked.