Torn

{Chapter 1} How Are You?

I sat on my bed, thinking what do I need to do. Do I or do I not? It's something I have been thinking about for a long time. My heart skips a beat when I think about it. I don't know what to do. I need to tell someone.

I wrote some song lyrics in my journal. I love to write songs. It aways helps with things that are stressful in my life. It helps get my mind off of things. Speaking of getting my mind off of things,  Abby texted me.

Abby: hey so how was today, I know it was hard for you. I just want to make it better.

Me: thanks Abby. It was not so bad but it wasnt good either. I just want to be alone right now ok?

Abby: yeah, bye

I continue writing in my journal. It's was getting to quite for me so I put some music on. Then my sister comes running into my room screaming dinner is ready. I glared at her knowing she's doing it to tick me off . So I get up and screech at her "GET OUT OF MY ROOM YOU LITTLE TWIT!" She jumps a little but refuses to leave so I grab my pillow and start to chase her with it, as she scrambled out of my room I throw my pillow back onto my bed. Then I walk downstairs to the dinning room. I grab a plate and start to plate up my dinner. As I'm sitting down my dad gives my a look saying "So how was your day today, Ava? Was it good?"

"No I didn't have a good day dad, in fact my day was so horrid that I'm not going to into the details. I would much rather we talk about something that involves me not talking about my day."  I said looking at my plate. My dad gives me the "why won't my child ever talk to me" look. Then he turns to look at my sister and says, "how was your day Emma?" She smiles uncertainly and says " it was good."

I shoved all my food into my mouth so I could get back to my room. I didnt want to be here any longer. There was to much going on. To much for me to handle. "Hey Ava slow down, you're going to choke." My mom said putting her hand on mine. I just shook my head. After I finished my food,  I ran back upstairs and got back to writing in my journal. I put the music back on and everything was getting better. Or so I thought.

My door flew open. I jumped up not know what had happened. My mom ran into my room yelling. "AVA YOU ARE GOING TO TELL ME EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU AS I AM YOUR MOTHER."

"Mom I don't want to talk about, I just want to be alone and everything will be ok." I said looking up from what I was doing. "Mom, I'm just stressed that's all. I promise you that's all." I said looking at her.

"Ok, that better be all. If not, we are going to talk about it. There is no reason for you to be keeping things from me. I know a lot more than you think I do. I'm a mom, I know things." She said getting up to leave. I just laugh.

I went back to what I was doing. I was getting happier and happier. I start to think about it again. My heart starts to skip a beat. My hands start to sweat. My hand writes faster, the words become deeper and deeper. My phone got my attention. Someone had texted me. I looked over and opened my phone.

Wyatt: How are you?

Me: I'm fine, just a lot is going on.

Wyatt: I know you are not fine. I saw you walk to your bus, you werent ok.

I sigh in irritation as I read the text and I respond immediately.

Me: did Abby put you up to this?  If she did I'm not going to be happy.

Wyatt: no she didn't, I swear. This is all my doing. I care for you, I want to know what happened. 

Me: I was stressed out all day and I had a big test, Luke went off on me again, and I thought about it again.

Wyatt: Luke went off on you again! Oh I'm going to... and you can't ever think that way I don't know what I would do if I lost you.

Me: I'm sorry Wyatt, with what's going on it's bound to happen. What are you going to do to Luke??

Wyatt: he makes me so mad some times. He doesnt know how to treat a lady, he shouldn't even have a girlfriend if he treats you this way. He isn't the one for you.

Me: Wyatt I love him! Why can't you see that? I don't want to think about this right now, this is to much.

Wyatt: I'm sorry but it's true and one day you'll realize it and it might be too late, we need to talk Later maybe it will help you.

Me: goodnight.

Wyatt: goodnight.

I put my phone down and walked into my bathroom. I washed my face, amd brushed my teeth. I walked back into my room. Than I went to bed. Hoping that the bad dreams wouldn't come to me tonight.