DETACHED

i'd be lying

A/N: Not really proud of this, but I just needed to get my thoughts written down.

Each time, you ask me, do you miss him?

I want to shake my head no, laugh it off and said I moved on

But I can't.

Because I'd be lying

During the day, I fight the urge to text him, to call him, share something I enjoyed with him

Everything I see

Reminds me of something that used to be

I scroll through folders of pics

Searching.

for a picture I forgot to delete of him, of us

yet there's none.

At night, I can't sleep

Memories are flooding my mind, and I can't sleep

I can't sleep

I spend countless nights awake

Scared to fall asleep, scared that these memories of him will disappear

after a night of sleep

I guess I blame myself each night

for I was the reason for the break.

I was the one who cut our relationship in half

and acted cold to him afterwards.

Yet, how do I heal myself of this pain so I can move on?

When everything is a reminder of something that's no longer real.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him

I'd be lying if I said I didn't love him

For I still do.