Just Kidding | ✔️

Chapter 26: Restless

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I pace around the room hour after hour. Does it help? No, but it gets me through the day. School lunch is almost out by now, so I won't be on my lonesome for much longer. I whisper to the walls that close me in my room, although they will never reveal my deepest secrets. Frankly, I believe these walls have gotten more than they've bargained for.

Suddenly an idea springs to mind. I throw on my walking shoes and head out the door, leaving the tranquil house behind. My aimless walking turns into a hike towards the house I grew up in. It's not too far, possibly a thirty minute walk at most. I just know I couldn't sit in that bloody house any longer without losing my damn mind.

The roads are cracked and withered. Cars speed by every so infrequently that it feels as if I'm the only one walking these streets in the early afternoon. The familiar sight of suburban homes appear and I know I'm close, only a few houses away.

And there it is, all by itself in the cul-de-sac that used to be my street. I stand in front of it, looking up mournfully and feeling the painful memories flood back suddenly. It's as if I am reliving them:

My mother's laughter echoes from within the house as Blake and I run toward the door, beating Riley to it.

"Are you sure I can be here?" Riley asks. "It's family dinner night."

Blake opens up the front door and rushes in before us, leaving it open for Riley and I to enter.

"You are family," I say and I yank Riley toward the door to shove her inside. We come face to face with my joyous mother.

"There you are, honey!" She says. Her voice is like sweet ice cream on a hot sunny day where the sweat sticks to you and the locusts buzz in the trees.

"Why are you so happy?" I giggle along with Riley, who comes fully out in view.

"Why shouldn't I be? Your dad just got a promotion!" She cheers and throws her hands way high.

"Dad! That is amazing!" I run to his warm embrace. He massages my scalp with his fingers before departing from the hug.

"Riley, I was hoping you would show up for family dinner tonight," mom says, pushing her along into the kitchen as we all sit down, looking at my mother dancing around as she finishes her famous pasta while Dad sings to the music.

Soon enough we are all dancing and singing until, I swear, the neighbors yell for us to keep it down.

But this is not the home I remember as my eyes adjust to the dull house I'm now facing. With its rotting roof, peeling paint, broken windows and weed-filled yard. That once-lively home is abandoned, no one's come to bring warmth back into it.

There is no sign of life anywhere, no sign of comfort ever existing within its walls.

At one point I wonder if I should go in, explore the forgotten memories and broken dreams, but I choose not to.

Eventually I realize I should probably head back before Blake gets home, I don't want him throwing a tizzy when he sees that the only family he has left is missing.

My trip back seems much quicker and I'm glad that I arrive earlier than Blake. So once I'm home I plop down on the couch, thinking of every time grandmother sat there focused on the TV. I would love to rest beside her right now and watch movie after movie until I fall asleep.

The front door creaks open then shuts quietly. Blake enters the living room, holding papers along with a uniform in his hands. He combs through his hair with his hand, throws his backpack on the table and searches through the stack of papers.

I get off the couch and walk his way. "What is that?" I nudge in the direction of the uniform.

"Oh, this? Nothing." His features scrunch up, and I know damn well he is lying straight to my face.

"Are you it's for a job, isn't it?" I lean on the wall.

"Yes . . . yes. I put in an application for this restaurant down the street sometime last week," unpacking his uniform and laying it upon the dinner table, he clears his throat. "They want me to start working for them today, actually."

"So you are just going to leave me alone?" I draw my bottom lip between my teeth, looking away from him only to then back around and find he's already throwing on his uniform.

"Kyla, I don't have time for this. I told them I'd be back to start work today." He sighs, stripping of his shirt and throwing on the plain black one.

"I-" I want to scream or argue but think past it when I realize he's already made up his mind. "Fine."

"Listen, I'm not sure what's going to happen between now and the last couple days. I mean, we're eighteen. We can live on our own but. . ." He shakes his head, pressing a single finger to his temple. "I don't want you to have to live this way."

"Blake I don't care. If I'm with you-" I begin but he interrupts.

"Kyla, I might not be able to keep this house okay? And if I end up living on the streets there is no way I'm taking you down with me." That's the last thing my brother says to me before exiting the house and leaving me to myself.

Again.

Hours pass by and it's morning once again. The sky appears grey, rain pours from the black clouds above, thunder booms across the land, I can see lightning striking in the distance.

"Come on, Kyla. Hurry up. Riley is waiting outside for you!" Blake screams from downstairs. It's hard to walk when my feet don't want to carry me the distance but I manage to get down the stairs before he can yell again.

I come down to see he's on the phone, nodding. He smiles faintly. "Yes Amber, I will be there soon-bye." He's turning towards me as I pass by, ready to leave the confines of this house and into the cold, rainy day.

"You can stay home if you'd like." Blake says from behind me.

But I know I must leave. I've gotta get out of here before I go insane.

"If I don't go now, then I never will."