What Are We Searching For, Really?

1.

一5;24am.

I felt the empty bitterness spread across my tongue as I woke up.

The house was silent. I opened up the curtains and cloud-gray light poured in the room like toxic liquid. It was almost as if I could hear the placid hiss as it hit my bare, dry skin.

It was so white outside I had trouble seeing; my eyes squinted as I tried to adjust to this unfamiliar lighting, my dark eyelashes getting trapped in my eyes as I rubbed them. I reached out to touch the window, feeling the coolness spread across my fingertips. The brisk air tingled on my skin as I pushed off my blanket. It was still quite cold, but noticeably warmer than yesterday. Yawning, I slumped onto the windowsill, watching the dust float around in front of me.

Sigh. It still feels so lonely.

I glanced up at the sky, watching a plane fly by. And I wondered if one of my parents was there.

I decided to go to school early this morning so I could practice my flute solo for my concert band's upcoming competition. Slinging on a white lace top, black jeans and brown ruffled ankle boots, I picked up my bag and books and headed out the door quietly.

The buildings around me were all dark and unlit at such an early hour. Nobody from my school lived around here-maybe it's because of how run-down this place is. I always headed to school alone.

-----

Ding ding, ding ding. Arriving at Oba station.

I briskly exited the train and started walking up the hill towards our school. The sun had risen properly by then and the world around me had lit up, if not exactly a beautiful shade of chrome yellow. As I drew closer, I heard the sounds of a trumpet being played and a small smile crept onto my face. Yasmin, my closest friend in concert band, was playing. What was she doing here so early? Like me?

I slowly opened the door to the music room, feeling the scratchy material grating against my fingertips.

"Hey Yasmin!" I greeted, sliding the door shut behind me.

The glowing notes faded and she put down her trumpet, turning around to face me.

"Hey Won." She flashed a smile at me, fiddling around with her instrument.

Dropping my bags and books on a nearby chair, I sat down next to her and looked at her score. "Is this your solo?"

"Yeah." A shade of red tinged her cheeks and she brushed her bangs away from her eyes. Her short, wavy hair bounced a bit as she stood up. "I'm going to wash my mouthpiece. Be right back!"

I watched her rush out of the door hurriedly and I dropped my 'awake face', getting out my flute and tuning it, careful not to make too much noise. When she still didn't come back after ten minutes, I walked outside to practice, bored of waiting.

I melted into my music, focusing on making each note perfect with beautiful endings. I was so absorbed, I didn't even realise when the school bell rang, signalling five minutes before class started.

"Shit," I mumbled under my breath, stuffing my flute back in its case and picking up all my things in a matter of seconds. "Did the bell ring already? Thank god English is nearby."

I prepared my face, adjusting my see-through bangs with my phone as a mirror and dusting a bit more powder on my face. Then, I took a deep breath and slid the door open, bustling into class perfectly with my black locks of hair light on my back and a few strands in front. I bent down slightly, leaning on my knees so that the light caught on my hair.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Ms. Rigby," I huffed, tilting my head slightly to one side and giving a small nervous smile.

"You're right on time, Won." She gave me a reassuring smile and gestured to the back of the classroom. "I'm going to be arranging new seats for everyone this term. Please wait at the back of the classroom with everyone."