What Are We Searching For, Really?

6.

  — 3;53pm.

It was 7 minutes before the solo auditions for flute and I was practicing my breathing, moving my fingers to the piece on my flute and unluckily...trembling from both the cold and pressure.

I took the chance to peer at Celine behind me, who was doing the same things as me: breathing exercises and practicing the piece. I decided to walk off to the backyard and prowled around the garden, taking photos of flowers, the silvery gray clouds, and the faded blue sky. The sun was covered by clouds and it wasn't sunny anymore, so when the wind blew at me I felt a sudden chill running up my spine, and I felt more unsettled.

I tried to sit down on the bench, by the heater, and thought about Ferry at home sleeping on a furry mat, licking up milk, walking around the house, meowing, scratching the scratching post...but I only felt calmer to some degree.

A twig snapped in the distance behind me and I twisted around to see Levi's face peeking out of the stairs at the back of the school. His foot lay on a now broken twig and his face was a bright shade of red under his tousled, umber hair.

"Hi Levi," I greeted casually, lifting up a hand to wave at him. "Why are you here?"

"I was just heading home," he stated in a calm demeanor, heading out into the open. "What about you?"

"I'm preparing for my flute solo auditions later," I answered with a slightly forced smile. "Actually, not later. Soon. In like, 8 minutes."

"Ahh.." he seemed at a loss of words, playing with his backpack straps. It was quite...a long pause before his deep voice started again. "Well, good luck on that. Do your best."

"Naturally," I grinned, in a sIy way before laughing at my silliness. "Thanks, dude. I better go now."

He nodded and ducked his head a little. "See you."

I couldn't find any words forming in my mouth as I watched him leave. Then I felt a smile creeping up on my face.

"Hey! Levi!" I suddenly called out, my mouth working faster than my brain. "Don't look down so much. You'll get a neck concussion someday!"

He stopped in his tracks and silence fell over us. All at once, I realised I made a stupid move that probably hurt him, and groaned quietly.

But it seemed that all my doubts were cleared when he turned around, his head high, and flashed me a grin.

"Thanks, Won. It's only when..." he stopped and swallowed. "It's nothing. Good luck."

He turned around and walked away, at a faster pace than he did before.

This caused more confusion inside of me and I bit back a big sigh.

What was he going to say?

Quickly erasing my troubled thoughts, I picked up my pace and arrived just in time for the auditions to start.

"Won! Just in time." Relief flooded Yasmin's face as I smashed into the room, my hair flying behind me like a wind storm. "Better hurry up and get to the stage."

"Come with me," I pleaded, grabbing her wrist. "I'll break down." No I won't.

"I'll watch you later. I have to rush to the bathroom first," she said desperately. My hand loosened its grip on her and she flew off.

Taking my flute out of my case in the back wings, I prepared myself and stared straight ahead at the red velvet material of the stage curtains, the tune playing in my mind over and over again.

Celine came up next to me and patted my shoulder, whispering a quiet "Good luck." before she went back into preparing. I smiled at her as if to say thank you before I heard Mr. Gadd call us out.