Timeless

k.

5 May 2017

Even though Josephine had tried to cheer me up that afternoon, my mood was pretty much ruined for the afternoon. Not even writing with Brian could really cheer me up, because I kept thinking about how bittersweet our situation was. The more I talked to him, the more I got involved, the more I was falling for him, and the more I would be crushed if - or probably when, knowing my luck - our fragile connection was interrupted. It was hopeless, and yet I knew that if I stopped talking to him now - to protect myself - I would really regret it. Because he was a great guy, because I enjoyed talking to him, and because he made me happy.

In the end Josephine had stopped trying to improve my mood, and let me go home, but not before making me promise that I would meet her at our favourite pub later that evening. When I was home I simply lay in the small garden my building had, and continued to write with Brian. For the entire afternoon, and even though the nagging thoughts were still at the back of my mind, he managed to cheer me up. Reminding me at the same time that it was good that he was in my life, even if it was just on my phone. He was good for me.

When it was time to get ready for my evening out with Josephine and a handful of other friends, I went inside and took a shower before I got ready, all that. And during all of that time I was writing with Brian, getting him to help me on my outfit, and just talking to him. However, it was time to go soon, and even though I kept writing with him on the way to the pub, once I got there I knew I had to keep my phone put away for most of the evening.

"Mira!" Josephine's cheerful greeted me nearly as soon as I was in the pub. They were still waiting at the bar, until everyone was there and we could get a table. "You made it. You look great. Are you feeling a little better?"

I nodded. "Yeah, a little... he cheered me up." I smiled a bit and shrugged. "I know that doesn't exactly make sense, but it's true."

"You are falling for him... admit it."

I closed my eyes and shook my head a little. "No.. I mean... maybe. Probably, yes, but I have to nip this in the bud, because it just can't happen. It's impossible."

"It's not impossible. It's just hard, but not impossible," she insisted. "Australia isn't another planet."

"Australia?" Our other friend, Rita, interrupted our conversation. "What are you talking about?"

So far I had managed to keep Brian only between Josephine and me. An effort which now seemed to have been in vain.

"Australia, and Mira's secret Australian lover boy," Josephine told Rita with a teasing undertone.

"Shut up," I told her. "He's not my lover boy. He's just a friend."

"You just admitted that you're falling for him," she reminded me, nudging my side. "It's okay, I told you. It's not embarrassing, it's really cute." She turned to Rita again. "You should see her when she's writing with him, it is really cute. But she's convinced that nothing will ever happen, so she's a little sad about that all the time."

"Australia... that does sound pretty tough," Rita seemingly agreed with me.

"Thank you," I told her, relieved that at least one of my friends understood me.

"But," she continued, crushing my hopes again immediately. "It's not impossible."

"Exactly my point," Josephine immediately added. "See, Mira? Just give it a chance, give him a chance to make you happy. We will get you a ticket to Australia so you can visit your Prince Charming."

"No, guys, you won't. Just forget about it. Nothing will ever happen, I have to focus on guys here, in this world... not in .. Australia." I shook my head and turned to the bartender, ordering myself a drink.

"Oh Mira, you make your own life more complicated than it has to be, really. But for now, let's forget about your Australian lover boy, because we have to celebrate something else. I'm buying a round of whatever you want," Josephine announced cheerfully.

Good. The attention was off me and Brian, finally. I wasn't really in the mood to celebrate though. That was why I did get out my phone again, and of course I had a message from Brian. Actually not just one.

Did you get to the pub safely?

That was the first message, and it already made me smile.

Sorry, I'm probably being annoying and a little creepy. Well, have fun at the pub, but not too much ;) And if you do, tell me about it.

I chuckled a little and shook my head. He was being adorable.

You're not being annoying or creepy, don't worry. I think it's sweet that you care so much. I did get to the pub safely. But tbh I don't really feel like being here...

I sent that message not really expecting an immediate reply because he knew I was busy, so I put my phone away. However, not much sooner after, my phone played my infamous notification tone. The guy who was standing next to me at the bar rested his eyes on me, obviously amused. I just gave him an awkward smile before I pulled my phone out again.

Did something happen? I'm glad to hear you're safe.

He was such a sweetheart. It was no lie when I said that there had never been a guy in my life who had cared about me so sincerely.

Nothing happened, don't worry. A big part of me would just much rather be at home, relaxing on the couch, talking to you. Actually talking. I really enjoyed that on Tuesday...

I wasn't sure if he knew how I felt about that, but I thought I should tell him to make sure that he did know that.

Me too, I feel the same way. I really enjoyed that too. Maybe when you get home later you can call me? I'd love to hear your voice again.

I'd love to hear his voice again too. Knowing that he was up for talking again didn't exactly help to make me want to stay in the pub though, quite the opposite. It was pathetic though, I wanted to ditch my friends for a guy who I'd never meet in person.