New Native Land (The Blossoming)

Chapter 31 (All Mine)

           

I scoffed and I rolled my eyes "If that makes you happy." His eyes flickered with anger before resetting to lifeless, instead he held his tongue going down another route saying smoothly "You make me happy." I made a face at him, I didn't want to blush, but that got to me, but I had to be strong right now. "If only I could believe that." I let out instead. He finally let his guard down, dropping his tough guy act as he breathed out and rubbed his hand over his waves, which made me so jealous because I wanted to touch his hair.

          "So what? All the progress we made don't mean nothing?" He asked and I shook my head "No, because when we take two or even ten steps closer you drag us back some steps and it's tiring." Ahm looked at me like I was crazy "Me? I drag us back?" He said trying to get my words right, like he couldn't believe I said them. "Yeah." I said with a Duh tone. He scoffed "Okay, blame it on me. Are we good now?" I looked at him weird. I was appalled "You cannot possibly say this is my fault." I was trying to understand where he was coming from.

          "Nah, you perfect and yo ass don't do any wrong. It's all me." He sarcastically said. "What do I do?" I asked shocked, he leaned back and put his hand on his face "What don't you do?" He sighed and I opened my mouth shocked. "Excuse me?" I asked him offended. "I make every first move, every one. And what? It doesn't matter, your guard is still gonna be up. You hard to get through and even harder to keep. To a regular nigga you probably wouldn't be worth it, but I ain't no regular nigga. But you too young to be acting like a nigga hurt you, so open up to me." He ranted and my face was a mixture of shock and... admiration? How could he make me this confused?

          He finished off his rant "If you don't want to talk to me or be with me then that's fine. I ain't tryin' to be somewhere I ain't wanted, and I ain't tryin to waste my time. I'm a busy man and I have a lot to do in one day. So, if that's what you want, to not be bothered with me, or to not fuck wit me, then I'll leave you alone because I'm not tryin to mess wit you or your happiness anymore. Feel me?" I was stunned. I didn't know what to say. I felt my cheeks get hot and I felt my heart twinge, what is this feeling?

          "Why did you ignore me all this week?" I asked him and he sighed and leaned forward. "I felt bad about what happened with Trell and I wanted to give you your space until you came around and talked to me, but you never did." He explained and I looked at him weirdly. "Why would I come talk to you?"

          He laughed and it was so cute "See what I'm saying? Perfect example, right there. If I'm your man, you should feel comfortable to talk to me about this stuff right? But instead yo lil ego got you saying you don't need anyone to talk to and that you're fine, but you're not fine ma. I can tell, it's been bothering you. You haven't gotten any sleep over it cause of them bags under your eyes and you drink coffee to keep yourself up during the day. I can tell cause you over slept and you've been almost late to school damn near every day this week. I know, I pay attention, but in my mind I was like 'When is she going to come and talk about this?' and you know what? You never came."

          I stared him in his eyes because he wasn't wrong, I'm not a killer, I'm not my brothers, I don't like doing things like that, but unfortunately for me that's the way my life is and I have to protect myself sometimes.

          "What am I supposed to say?" I asked him and his face went into that gentle state and he looked at me like he adored me "'Ahm, I'm scared and I want to talk to you about what happened.' And you can add that baby, or boo shit. Or whatever you want to call me." He relieved the tension and I laughed lightly. "So talk to me." He pushed and I sighed and I looked down. "I'm having nightmares..." I said quietly. "Why?" I shrugged "I feel bad. I know he was wrong but I still feel bad."

          He eyed me "It's my fault so try not to worry anymore." He assured me and I sighed out. "Yeah, I will."

          "I got enemies, and some will stoop down low to get to me or hurt me. I'm worried they might do something to you, so I've been distant." He admitted and I squinted at him his eyes filled with amusement "But shit, you sorta handy with a knife, you might just be okay." He joked and I smacked my lips and hit him softly. "What I tell you about that?" He warned and I smiled "Ah! I got her to smile, thank you God!" He praised and I rolled my eyes playfully.

          "You have to admit I have street knowledge now." I said to him and he sighed out loud and his face went back to being blank "No." He simply said and I pouted "You're so mean to me." I whined and he smirked "You cute." I smiled. Suddenly, he made a face like he realized something, "You got a bad ass attitude." My mouth dropped open. "Excuse me?" I asked him perplexed. "Yeah, you needa fix that, cause you don't want me to." I smacked my lips at him.

         "What you reading? It's a thick ass book." He inquired changing the subject and I sighed, letting go his previous comment, "You don't say, I didn't notice." I mocked him and he glared at me "The Count of Monte Cristo." I answered and his eyebrow raised up. "What's that about?"

          I sighed "Uh, about a guy who was falsely accused of treason on his wedding day by someone who he thought was his friend but wasn't. He escaped from jail after his cellmate told him how to escape and where to find his treasure. So, he escaped and plots revenge on his ex-friend." I tried to sum it up, he titled his head at me. "So, it's about revenge?" He asked and I nodded. "Might have to get some huge tips from that book." Ahm suggested.

          "Nah, you'd have to have some huge beefs with someone to do what he's doing and a huge pocket." I said my thought out loud "What makes you think I ain't got any money?" His eyebrow raised which caused me to do the same, "I didn't say you didn't." I answered him back smartly and he laughed and reached out and brushed under my chin lightly.

          "How did you find me here anyways?" I asked because this question was in the back of my mind "Sources." He simply said and I rolled my eyes at him. I took out a piece of gum and I started chewing it. "You chew gum all the time." He noticed, I nodded, saying sarcastically"I know." He looked at me funny "Why?" He pressed wanting to know more and I smiled "It's a secret." He smirked "We keep secrets?" I smiled and nodded my head playfully "Alright, but if one of your secrets is bothering you, you gotta tell me."

          I nodded and I stuck out my pinky "Pinky promise." I said and he looked at me strange "That's wack." Ahm looked at me and my lame pinky but I didn't care, I wagged my pinky around and he laughed and hurried and wrapped his pinky around mine.

          "I gotta question to ask you." He waited for me to ask it. "Are you in school?" He looked uneased by the question but he answered "Yeah." I smiled "Do you go?" I tried to get more answers. "Yeah." Keeping his answers short, I continued to smile and asked "Are you a senior?" I gave him a playful smirk while lifting my eyebrows and he laughed quietly "You mad lame ma. Yeah, I'm a senior." He replied, cheering in my seat, gloating "Oo! I go out with a senior. I am so cool." He shook his head at me. "Wack." He said in a low voice, but it was in an amused tone but I didn't let his words get to me.

          "Mhm, I gotta go. I need to write a paper on this book and study philosophy." I told him and he looked disappointed. He joked, "Ain't going to no parties tonight huh?" I mugged him and stuck my book in my backpack. "You'd like that, so you can stick your tongue down my throat again." I teased and his eyes turned lustful extremely quickly, he deepened his voice some and said lowly for only me to hear, "I'll kiss you right here, I don't need to wait to see you at a party lil mama." I couldn't control the blush creeping on my face.