Flowers on my doorstep

"I wish I could have saved you."

A/N: Here you go my lovelies. I hope you like this one, i re-wrote so many parts and if I kept going you would never have gotten the next chapter, so here it is. Bask in all its unperfected glory 😂 Anyway enjoy.

P.S. I'm loving your little comments btw it means so much to see you liking this. Okay imma let you read this now, unless you already skipped my A/N then continue.

I woke up in a panicked sweat, the first one since I'd moved here, along with seething pain running through my joints and head as I looked around the room for her, whilst quickly lifted my hand to the same place I had in the nightmare slash flashback, I'm not sure what is was because it felt real and some things had happened.

I felt no blood on my head when I touched it only the small outline of the faint scar that was covered by my hair.

Last year when I was in rehab I learnt the simple trick of flipping my hair over to one side just to hide the tip of the scar that ended just past my hairline. It was thin so not many people noticed it other than my doctors and family who already knew about it.

Just thinking about them made me miss them. Especially Normani I felt so guilty for everything I had done to her. For everything I had put her through when she was only trying to help me. I needed to here her voice. So I quickly grabbed my phone and called her up, just to hear her voice and know she wasn't mad at me, even though she probably was.

The phone rang a few times, before it picked up.

"Lauren? Hi babes. Is everything okay?? I missed you." Normani rushed out and I could hear the slight panic in her voice being that it was in the early hours of the morning. Her constant state of panic was all down to me. It was my fault. Everything was my fault.

"Manibear." I breathed a sign of relief at her voice because she didn't seem angry, just worried. So I know I didn't annoy her, but I couldn't tell if she was still upset with me at least not over the phone. This is why I don't like phones. It made people confusing.

"Lo? Are you okay?" She asked again, desperate for some relief of stress I caused her.

"Um..y-yeah. I dunno. A-Are you mad at me?" I asked hesitantly.

"No Lolo, why would I be mad at you? Where are you? Are you safe? Please tell me you're safe." My best friend for life worried.

"I'm in my room. I'm safe, Don't w-worry." I said but looking around my room regardless, in a state of permanent paranoia as per usual. "Are you sure you're not mad at me? Because I had a dream that we were at a party and you was-"

"Lauren. You listen to me." The older girl demanded. "I am not mad at you. I was never made at you. That day was a bad day for everybody, okay? So don't feel guilty or beat yourself up over it because Lucy is a psycho and it's her fault. Not yours. And you don't deserve to keep reliving those memories."

"But she said-"

"Lauren. I don't care what she said, listen to what I'm saying. ITS. NOT. YOUR. FAULT. It was never your fault."

I didn't say anything because I knew it would be a lie to say I didn't believe that. Instead I shifted uncomfortably and groaned in discomfort still feeling that dull pain running through my body that obviously wasn't from the nightmare.