You and I, we just weren't created to survive (joshler) (not edited)

Chapter seven - starving

I just created Instagram and I have no idea how to use it I haven't had an account for many years and it has changed a lot... any tips and stuff?

"Life is more than fitting in your jeans."

Josh and Tyler talk regularly about everything and anything. It's been months of rain, cool air, snow and frozen gloveless fingertips that casually hold on to the hand of another as they walk - neither being sure how this happened but being perfectly content with it.

Josh has found himself feeling somewhat happy when he's around Tyler. His friend says he's being a little more social, his therapist says he's making real progress (as a difference to the lies Joshua normally feeds him). The bulimic has even found himself eating once or twice without puking it back up due to an overpowering sense of guilt... but only once or twice. Now, with hair re-dyed bright blue, he's walking to meet the only person that's been successful at starting his journey to recovery.

Tyler has found himself feeling somewhat safe while around Josh. His boyfriend is getting suspicious, and Tyler has been basically banned from leaving the house for the past two weeks. When he went out anyway, his time at home wasn't particularly fun, it was the worst pain the abused boys ever experienced (he thinks, it did make him black out). With nothing really healed from then, he still sneaks out to meet with the person that is his only form of safety.

***

The outside world being too freezing, they both eventually decide to back to Josh's home (or rather, his flat). Josh is eyeing the way Tyler limps and smothering a gasp when he takes off his coat upon entering the flat - Tyler must admit he forgot about how bad the injuries on his arms were. Tyler is eyeing the way Josh is weak supporting his own weight and how his kitchen looks untouched compared with the rest of the home.

They make their way into the living room, Tyler wincing as he sits down on the sofa, Josh next to him - both cast worried glances toward each other with burning questions on the tip of their tongues. These are of course obvious questions they've wanted to ask since the day they met each other but now, it seems like both are worse than usual.

"What happened?" Josh asks, concern lacing the words. He's pretending not to have a slight idea of what might be happening.

"Fell down the stairs." Tyler mumbles, inwardly cursing himself for using the oldest, most obvious excuse in the book. He lets out a shaky breathe, avoiding eye contact before speaking again, "what happened to you?"

"What? Nothing." Josh looks down as himself, examining his frame, feeling scrutinised under both his own and Tyler's gaze. There aren't any injuries, besides a paper cut, so Josh drags himself to the conclusion that he's gained weight, and feels his vision cloud with tears.

"You've lost weight." Tyler blurts out, only after realising how that could possibly hurt Josh. Panic sets in, but Tyler tries to hide it with hands knotted together on his lap to stop the shaking. He looks up, fearing Josh's reaction, and almost feels his jaw drop when he sees the blue haired boy smiling.

"I know." His voice cracks, but there's a string of pride lacing the words spoken by the broken boy that shatters Tyler's heart because he knows this weight loss isn't a good thing.

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