The Unexpected Journey-A Prince Harry Fan Fic

Chapter 158

From the moment Maddie had stepped out of the bathroom, there had been a war brewing inside of her. Her rational side was trying, desperately to find an explanation that her heart and her stomach were pounding down.

Her mind was spiraling out, trying to make sense of a phone call that simply made no sense.

Cassandra's words kept playing over and over in her head; this sickening chorus that made her body hurt in every pore. Everything she had said; everything she knew. Maddie hated to be caught off guard; hated to be in the dark about something and this, this had come from completely out of the blue. She never would have guessed Harry had been talking to Cassandra on the side....for all this time...

Maddie took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly; trying in vain to pull herself back together.

It could be a coincidence, right? It had to be. Some crazy, only-happens-in-fiction explanation for all of this; one that didn't mean her husband had been effectively lying to her for months and months.

With her arms wrapped around her, she moved back through their living room; slow and methodic as she tried to walk it out. As she walked past the phone, busted and dead on the floor, she thought about calling him; calling him and demanding he come right home, that he explain this away; that he be the one to struggle to make sense of it all. But the mere thought of speaking to him, of seeing him, made her heart jump into her throat.

She wasn't sure she could talk to him yet.

Walking through the living room, she made it to the entry way. Moving to sit on the second step, she took a deep breath and stared out into space. She wanted so desperately to understand; to sort it all out.

But she couldn't.

Her eyes welled up instantly, her throat tightening as Cassandra's words rushed through; again and again. She knew so much; too much. It made Maddie's stomach turn as she thought of it; how they had been trying to get pregnant, how they had fought when he was called to duty, how upset she was about him staying...how they worked things out in Norway. Maddie's head fell into her hands as the tears flooded. Had he really been talking to Cassandra all this time? Had he really been sharing these personal, intimate details of their lives with her?

It didn't make sense; Maddie shook her head. It made no sense. Because even in the times they had seen Cassandra, he had been less than cordial to her; completely dismissive. Had that been a rouse the whole time? Had he really been masking something that she was too blind to see?

It was too much. It was all just too much to take in; the image of him, of her husband, disclosing these things to her. It was too much for Maddie to wrap her brain around.

And that was long before she even tried to factor in that last bit of information. That was long before she took into account the fact that Cassandra knew what Harry's lips had tasted like on Monday night. Long before she tried to take in the words she had dropped on her

"I was with him Monday night." Maddie shook her head, forcing herself to take a deep breath, had to rest her spinning head between her knees to keep from hurling.

SHE had been with him Monday night. When he had come home at three in the morning and he was standing there in that towel—she had made love with him. And according to Cassandra and her all too accurate knowledge as to the taste of Harry's lips—she had been with him too.

And that was a big deal.

A Big. Fucking. Deal.

Unable to stand it any longer, this worry and anxiety, she pulled her cell phone from her pocket and dialed his number. She couldn't do this without him. She needed him there. She needed answers and FUCK if she wanted to just be able to dismiss this; to ignore Cassandra and go on believing that Harry was hers—only hers.

"You've reached Harry's phone...." Maddie cringed at the way she could hear his smile on the recording. "Leave me a message."

She pressed end and dropped the phone on the stair next to her.

And she hated Cassandra Whitworth. She hated her; not only for the words she had said, but for what she had done.

Because Maddie knew that Harry had a busy schedule that day; meetings stacked on meetings. And she knew that, before today, a missed phone call would have meant nothing. It would have meant that he was still in one of his meetings or that he was finishing up a phone call or that he was on his way home and had left his phone powered off in his chest pocket of his coat. It would have meant any number of perfectly rational things.

But not anymore.

Because regardless of the validity of Cassandra's admissions, regardless of any missing facts behind this whole scenario; Cassandra Whitworth had won. In that one phone call she had managed to plant a heartbeat of doubt where before there had been none.

And just like that Maddie sank into the darkness.

What if it were true? What if every single word were true?

Maybe they had reconnected after Cassandra moved back to London. Harry had told her before that he was loyal—once he cared, he always cared. Even if the relationship ended.

Maybe he had talked to Cassandra.

Maybe he had told her that they were trying to be parents; trying for a baby.

Maybe things had started out innocently enough.

And maybe...she gulped...maybe he had told her about the fight, when he was called up to deploy, maybe he had disclosed that to her.

Maddie had always known Cassandra still had feelings for Harry. Maybe she had seen an opportunity, maybe he had vented to her...

And maybe, just maybe, in those moments when Maddie wasn't as understanding as she liked to be, when she wasn't as easy on him as she should have been, maybe Cassandra had stepped up; stepped in.

Maybe Maddie had missed it. Maybe it had all happened just the way Cassandra said that it had. Maybe Harry had turned to her and maybe on Monday night when he was high from the news, from their celebration, maybe he had...

Maddie shook her head violently; desperately wanting to shake the image from her mind, from her heart, from the realm of possibility.

But she couldn't.

She knew that she should KNOW better; that this was Harry—her Harry—who had followed her to Bendal, who had given her his heart and brought her to London, who had married her. This was the man with whom she was about to have a child; her husband. She knew that she should be waiting for him to explain. She knew that she should give him the benefit of the doubt, the chance to speak. But she couldn't. Her heart ached. Her mind hurt. And her stomach was churning.

Because Cassandra Whitworth knew what her husband's lips tasted like.

And she sank further.

She wanted to drink. She wanted to open up the most expensive bottle of wine they owned and drink it; right there on the stairs, straight from the bottle. She wished she was the kind of person who could break things. She wished she could go on a rampage through the house; breaking every glass and vase and piece of pottery she could find. She wanted to watch something shatter, wanted to relieve the tension that coursed through her muscles.

But she wasn't. She never really had been.

So she sat. There on that second stair from the bottom. And she waited. Right there in the entryway, with her teary eyes focused on the front door; she waited for him. Because good or bad, he was the only one who could help her out of the dark hole in which she felt so deeply entrenched.

She really had no idea just how long she sat there, how long it took before she heard the crunch of gravel outside, the car doors opening and shutting and his unmistakable laugh. The very same one that used to make her body warm.

Maddie wiped at her eyes, trying to sniff away the tears that had become permanent residents. And when she heard the door handle, the push, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes and braced herself. Finally. He was home.

"Madeline..." His voice was light and airy; happy as he called out to her before he had even step foot inside.

Maddie swallowed the lump in her throat, opened her eyes, and there he was. The house had grown dark while she had waited and her eyes had adjusted. But his hadn't. He dropped his bag next to the door, his jacket on top of it as his free hand sought out the light switch.

"Maddie!" He called out as he flipped on the switch and turned around. The second he saw her, he jumped; flinched. "Jesus!" His hand moved over his pounding heart. "Christ Maddie, I didn't see you sitting there and..." His voice dropped off as his eyes took her in; his forehead creasing in instant concern and worry at the look on her face, the tears in her eyes. "Maddie..." He moved into the house quickly; coming right over to her. "What is it? What happened?"

Almost on instinct, he knelt down in front of her and his hand moved out to touch her, to console her; to comfort.

And almost on instinct, on this terrible new reflex, Maddie flinched away from him.

"Don't touch me..." Her voice, having been shut down for most of the day, having been silenced by way of tears, was weak and hoarse and by the scrunched up look on Harry's face, it was clear he hadn't quite heard her.

"Maddie..." His hand moved in and hers caught it before it reached her.

"I said....don't touch me." And though it was peppered with tears, she was clear. And he had heard her.

"What?" His eyes flashed confusion as he took his hand back, his mind shifting into gear as he tried to understand what was happening. "Why? What's happened? Are you okay or..."

"No," she shook her head as the tears came from her eyes; her hands reaching to wipe at her cheeks. "I am not okay." Though Harry stood up, though he took half a step away from her, his focus only intensified.

"Is it the baby?"

"No," she shook her head. "The baby is...fine." Her voice cracked at the end.

"Okay, well, would you tell me what the hell is going on? Because right now I'm incredibly..."

"I got a phone call today," her voice was growing clearer as her anger began to outweigh her tears.

"A phone call?" Harry's eyebrows lifted; not any less confused. Oblivious.

Maddie wiped at her eyes as she rose to her feet. She cleared her throat and looked right at him; forcing herself to stand in front of him, forcing her eyes to lock with his and then, with her head held high, she nodded. "From Cassandra Whitworth."

Had her eyes not been watching him, waiting for his reaction, she might not have noticed the way he flinched, the way his eyes flashed and his Adam's Apple bobbed. It was a fraction of a second and barely noticeable.

But she caught it and it made her heart jump in her chest; made the pit of her stomach clench.

With his arms crossing over his chest, his jaw tightened. "What did she say to you?"

"I think you know what she said to me." Harry's eyes held hers for a blink before he had to look away, his eyes shifting from hers.

"Maddie," he was shaky, she could tell; and it made her want to pummel him. "I don't know what exactly..."

"Yes you do," her teeth were clenched and her voice was rising. "You flinched when I said her name and you can't even look at me right now! You don't know exactly..." She shook her head and then surprised them both when she yelled. "YES YOU DO!"

"Hold on..."

"NO!" She yelled, moving away from him, needing to put physical distance between them. "No! I will not hold on! All I've been doing since she called is HOLDING ON! Waiting for you to get here so I could look in your eyes and see if it was true, if...." She faltered as the tears surged forward. "If all of the things she said were true and..."

"All of the things..." Harry followed her into their living room; his heart pounding wildly in his chest, the sound of his pulse rushing in his ears. "What do you mean all of the things? What did she tell you?"

"She told me everything," Maddie turned to face him; tears in her eyes and her hand over her heart. Harry felt his knees weaken and his stomach turn at the way she was looking at him. "How you reconnected, how you became friends again..."

"Reconnected?" Harry's voice shot high.

"She told me how you confided in her, how you told her..." Maddie shook her head. She hated this. All day she had thought that she wanted to confront him, that she wanted answers. But now that she was faced with it, she didn't. She wanted to run and hide and curl up in a ball. "How you told her about the trouble we had trying for a baby..."

"But..." Harry shook his head; his own mind reeling as Maddie continued.

"She knows so much Harry...so much about me, about us. How could you tell her..." Her voice caught in her throat and she had to take a breath. "How we had to stop, how we fought when we had to stop..."

"But I didn't!" His eyes were wide, his face scattered.

"Don't lie to me!" Maddie yelled, finding her voice. "She knew about the accident. She knew that when you didn't come home to me after the accident, that I was upset! Harry!" Her voice cracked and her eyes welled up as she looked right at him. "She knew I got pregnant after Norway..."

"Maddie, I swear to you..." He moved towards her, his hands held up in surrender, but she was having none of it. Her hand held up and her expression hardened.

"Don't." She shook her head at him. "Don't swear to me. Don't...don't swear anything to me right now."

"Maddie, please," his shoulders were drooped, his eyes pleading and his whole world was collapsing around him.

"And she knows...she knows that on Monday night...your lips tasted just like Scotch. And honey."

And this time as Maddie watched him, she saw his heart break in his chest. She saw his hope fall to the ground. Right along with the remnants of hers.

With a heavy nod and fresh tears, Maddie held his eyes and whispered. "That's what I thought."

And for a moment all was quiet. There was no sound, not even a breath. And then Harry swallowed and blinked and when his eyes met hers, she saw guilt there and her heart sank to her feet; with all faith and possibility following behind.

"Okay, listen..."

"No," Maddie shook her head as she turned to walk away from him. "I don't think I will."

"Maddie," he followed behind her. "It's not what you think."

"Not what I think?!" She yelled out, spinning on her heels to face him. "I think she knows exactly what your lips taste like!"

"Please," Harry's voice was sad and desperate. "Please give me the chance to..."

"No," Maddie pushed past him, walking back through the living room. "You have had a chance to tell me! You have had days and weeks and MONTHS!" She screamed and came to a stop; her tears flowing back to the surface as her head fell forward into her hands. "I don't even know how long you've had to tell me that there was something going on, something..."

"No," Harry shook his head, trying to keep himself together; to keep from losing it at the chaos that was unfolding. "I don't know how she knows all of those things but..."

"Please don't lie to me," Maddie's face lifted from her hands and she looked up at him. "Please...please..." She was soft and quiet and so sad that he wanted to kick his own ass. "You told me you were....honest...even if it hurt."

"I am and..."

"Until it really fucking matters!" She burst into anger again. "It matters. Right now. Stop with the nonsense bullshit. I don't want to hear that you don't know! I want to know what the hell happened to us that..."

"She kissed me!" Harry's voice boomed around them, drawing her to silence. "I'm sorry. I...Monday night. At Bishop's. I was drunk and celebrating and I sat next to her on the couch and we were talking and she leaned in and kissed me."

"Yes." Maddie's face grew cold and he flinched at the anger he saw there; the hatred. "She told me that part."

"Did she tell you that I didn't want her to do that? That I was furious? That I pushed her away and stood up? Did she tell you that I told her that was never going to happen, that I was...that I was in love with my wife? Did she tell you that I told her to stay away from me? Did she tell you that I left her there, that she's been warned to stay away?" Harry's eyes were frantic as he watched her. "Did she tell you any of those things?"

"No..." Maddie shook her head, her tears growing eerily still. "But neither did you." And then, without giving it a second though, Maddie moved past him and went straight for the front door.

"Wait!" Harry hurried behind her; right on her heels. Just as she pulled the door open, his arm moved around her to push it shut. "Don't leave."

"Don't tell me what to do," she pushed at his arm and reached for the door but he was quick and determined and he shut it again. But she was mad and felt cornered and when she spun around to face him, the rage that was brewing was evident.

"Please don't leave," his eyes were wide and teary and the way he was pleading with her made Maddie's resolve weaken a bit.

"I'm furious with you right now. I'm mad and upset and confused and I feel so...stupid and betrayed and..." She shook her head. "I need to get out."

"Please don't walk out the door," he bit his lower lip as his hands moved to her shoulders. "Please Maddie."

"Don't touch me..." She shook her head as her stance eased only slightly. With tears in his eyes, he pulled his hands from her and held them up in surrender. "I just...I want to break something or hit something or..."

"Hit me," he didn't blink as he spoke. "God, please just....hit me if you want to but please don't walk out the door. Please don't leave me without giving me the chance to explain."

She wasn't sure if it was his words, or the way he spoke them with so much desperation or if it was hormones from her pregnancy. She had no idea why her mind and emotions kept bouncing between anger and sadness but in that moment the anger waned.

And she began to cry.

Her hands moved to her mouth, to her throat as she began to sob with her back against their front door and Harry standing in front of her with a battle in his mind.

Never before had he wanted to hold her more than he did in that exact moment. And never before had he been so clear that that was exactly what she didn't want. So he stood still and he took a breath and when she didn't move to leave, he took a risk.

"I don't know how she knows all of this other stuff..."

"She says you told her," Maddie whispered.

"But I didn't," he shook his head, his hand to his heart. "I didn't tell her those things."

"She said that you confided to her..."

"But I didn't!" He's eyes were wide and fuck if she didn't want to just believe him. "I didn't! Why would I do that, Maddie? You are my wife and you're having my baby and God...Maddie...I'm not even friends with her. Why would I confide in her about such big, private things?"

"Believe me, I have been going over and over that in my mind since she called," Maddie let out a small bitter laugh. "And the answers make me sick."

"I didn't," his voice dropped low.

"She said that you started out as friends and that you....vented to her and she was there for you...and that eventually developed into something more and that you were..." Maddie gulped back the lump in her throat. "That you were together on Monday."

"Together?" Harry's face twisted up, his eyes growing dark. "But we weren't. Maddie; listen to me. You have to..."

"Believe you?" She interrupted; her eyebrows shooting up as she searched his face. "I'm supposed to believe you?"

"Yes," he whispered; knowing how absurd that request sounded in the moment. "Your husband, the father of your child, over this crazy woman who means nothing. Yes. You should know that..."

"You want to know what I know?" She cut him off. "I know that on Monday night you were drunk and happy and I was at home and at some point...at some point there was a kiss. That's what I know..." She looked down at her hands. "I know it wasn't my husband who told me about it. It wasn't the father of my child who came home to me and came clean. It was this crazy woman...who means nothing." Maddie placed her hand in the middle of his chest and pushed him back. "And even if that's all that happened, even if it began and ended right there..."

"It did."

"Then why didn't you tell me?" She took a step away from him; back into the house. "You could have come right home to me and told me; Maddie, Cassandra kissed me. I pushed her away and it meant nothing and..." Maddie trailed off, looking away from him. "And then when she called, maybe I wouldn't have been so blindsided." She swallowed and looked back to him. "But you didn't. You...you kept it from me. And you came home that night and...and made love to me..." Her lips pressed closed and tears slipped freely. "And I'm supposed to believe you."

"I know how it looks..."

"It looks like you've been lying to me at least since Monday," she wiped at her cheeks. "And I'm supposed to believe you."

"Maddie..."

"She said that you don't know what to do," as she spoke the words, all of her defenses slipped away. She was sad and vulnerable and lost. "She said that you're trying to figure things out and that if I weren't pregnant..."

"Stop," Harry whispered; tears slipping from his eyes as he shook his head at her. "Please. There is nothing for me to figure out. There is no question. Maddie..." His hands moved to his chest as he pleaded. "I made a mistake on Monday Maddie. I should have come home to you and told you. I thought that it was just...an isolated incident, that she got the point, that she knew...and I didn't want to upset you over something so insignificant. So I decided not to tell you. I know that I should have. And last night when you came down to the office, I was going to. I knew it would only get bigger; after we saw her at polo, after she sent all of those texts last night..."

Maddie's eyes snapped up. "That was her."

"I...yes..." He nodded his head. "That was her."

"God Harry," Maddie groaned.

"I would never do this," his knees bent so his gaze could level with hers. "I would never do this. I would never cheat on you Maddie. I love you. I love you so much and I could never...I would never. You have to know that. I didn't kiss her back. I didn't. The second I realized what was happening, I pushed her away and..."

"I want to believe you," Maddie whispered. "I want to."

"Then do," he hoped and prayed.

Maddie nodded her head and looked down at her hands, her lips curling into a smile that wasn't completely authentic; her eyes getting this far-off, distant look.

"We're supposed to be a team," she sounded so calm; too calm. "You and I; us. We're supposed to be a united front; us against the world..." She let out an exhale of a chuckle. "With everything that goes on around us and all of the craziness and...it's supposed to be you and me; Maddie and Harry. Solid. Together. Unyielding."

"We are all of those things..."

"But we're not," she blinked at the last wayward tear. "Because when you let her know something that I didn't...you let her in. You weakened us."

"Maddie."

"And when you told her these intimate details of our lives,"

"I didn't tell her those things," he was starting to panic. "Please. You can look right now. Here...my phone..." He reached into his pocket and handed it over. "I will log you into my email accounts and you can pull up old phone records and..."

"Harry," she shook her head, holding her hand up; refusing to take his phone from him.

"Please," he moved closer. "Please. Do you want me to call her? Do you want me to try to figure this out? Do you want me to take you there?"

"I don't want to talk to her ever again..."

"What do you want me to do? Tell me and I'll do it. Please..."

"She says..." Maddie's voice grew quiet, her demeanor softening as a great vulnerability was laid before him. "She said you're trying to figure out how to leave me..." Her eyes slid to his, crushing his soul. "Is that true?"

"No," Harry shook his head, blinking back tears that had the ability to turn into sobs. "No. Maddie...no. I don't want to leave you. I have never wanted to leave you. Since the day I met you...please..." He reached for her hand and pulled it into his. And she didn't fight, she let him take it, she let him pull it to his chest; press it above his pounding heart. "I am not trying to figure out how to leave you. I'm not going anywhere." He took in a slow, shuddery breath and asked the question that had the possibility of ending him. "Are you?" He whispered. "Are you leaving me?"

Maddie's fingers curled up under his, as though they were trying to hold onto him, to keep him in her grasp. As her eyes welled up with tears again, as her teeth bit into her lower lip, she let her heart rule her mind on this one. She shook her head. "No." It came out cracked and weak, but it gave him hope. "I'm just...really confused and I'm mad and...and I'm heartbroken."

"I know," his head hung in shame. "I'm sorry. I...I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have told you. I...I tried last night but you fell asleep and..." He shook his head. "It doesn't really matter. I didn't tell you. And she did."

"She did." Maddie nodded; Cassandra's words rushing back into her mind. Pulling her hand from his, she wrapped her arms around her chest and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"What can I do?" He asked. "To fix this, to make this right, to...convince you...what can I do? I'll do...anything."

"I don't know," she shook her head. She wasn't trying to be evasive, wasn't trying to punish. She didn't know how to walk this back. If she did, she would tell him, because she hated this. She hated looking at him with this new lens of caution. "What would you do?"

"Sorry?"

"If the shoes were reversed," she held his gaze. "If you had gotten a phone call today from some man." Harry blinked; already hating this hypothetical. "And he told you that he knew how upset I was when you stayed after the accident in Khundu. If he told you that he knew how much you upset me with that decision." Maddie could see his blood begin to boil and she pressed forward. "What if he told you I had been confiding in him for months; about our relationship, about how things were between us. What if he knew things that nobody knew. Things I hadn't even told Ella..."

"Maddie," Harry's jaw was tense; his shoulders tight.

"And then..." She took a breath and held strong. "And then he told you that he knew what I tasted like." She watched as her words hit him; could see the way they twisted at his heart. "You feel that?" She lifted her eyebrows. "That feeling deep in your gut; like you just got punched? Like you're going to be sick?" She blinked at her tears. "That's how I feel right now. That's how I've felt all day. Now tell me....what would you do?"

"I would want to fucking kill him," Harry spoke the harsh truth.

"Yeah," Maddie had a small, tight smile as she nodded.

"And then I would want answers."

"And what if I told you....I don't know..." She shrugged and he got it; his head nodded.

"Maddie..."

"I don't know what to do to fix this, Harry," she shook her head. "I don't know how we take this back, how we erase this. I don't know how I get the images out of my mind!" Her voice rose as her anger swayed. "I don't know. I just...." She laughed a bitter, huff of a sound. "I don't know."

"Okay," he whispered. He had messed up. When he had made the decision to keep the incident from Monday night from her, he had made a vital, critical mistake. Though he had done it from a place of love, a place of preservation and caring—it had been wrong. He knew that now. Now he had no leg to stand on when he tried to convince her that everything else that Cassandra had told her was false. He had no explanation and she had no faith.

And that was all his fault. So he stood and waited for her to speak, to tell him what happened next.

"I'm...." She wiped her eyes and sniffed as she moved around him towards the stairs. "I think I'm going to go now..."

"Go?" His eyes flashed wild with worry.

"Upstairs," she pointed. "I'm tired and....hungry and....and I want to be alone for a bit."

Harry nodded; accepting whatever she asked for, whatever she wanted. "Can I get you anything or do anything?"

"No," she shook her head. "I think you're done for the night. I think we're done for the night."

"Do you..." He gulped at the emotion that surged forward; as his adrenaline began to wane, the realities were settling in. "Do you want me to stay somewhere else tonight?"

"No," she shook her head. "You don't have to leave. I don't want..." She turned from him to look up the stairs; desperately wanting to stop the tears long enough to get out a complete thought. "I don't want any of this..."

"Maddie..."

"You don't have to go away," she shook her head; not looking back at him. "But I do want to be alone tonight...I just need some time and..."

"Okay," he cut her off; devastated, but compliant. She was going to get whatever she wanted from him that night; even if it meant he camped in the front yard. "I'll stay in another room."

"Thank you," she whispered and then without a glance back, without another word, she started up the stairs.

And Harry stood, rooted to his spot in the entryway, his whole life in scattered remnants around him, and he watched her go.

The second she was out of his line of vision, he folded; his shoulders sank with his heart and he lost the ability to fight off the tears any longer.

He was lost and afraid and scared and sad and guilty and upset and...and the only thing that anchored him, the only thing that had anchored him for years, was on her way up to their bedroom; alone. And completely unsure about him.

And he felt something inside of him crack.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

When Maddie came down the stairs the next morning, Harry was already awake; had been for most of the night. He had stayed in his office, had tried to sleep on his couch but found very little rest; very little reprieve from what had occurred there that night. He was in the kitchen nursing a cup of black coffee, disheveled and just this side of a mess when she walked in; dressed for her day.

His tired eyes lifted to meet hers and he sat his coffee back on the counter. "Hi..." He breathed; almost afraid to move.

"Good morning," Maddie tried for a smile.

"Can I get you..."

"I'm leaving," she cut him off, his eyes snapping up to her in an instant.

"But..." His heart jumped in his throat.

"Not..." She shook her head. "I'm going away. Just for a couple of days," she was quick to explain; quicker to continue when she saw him open his mouth to protest. "I need to think, Harry. I need to...." She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I want to believe what you said. I need to believe my husband over...her. I need that. But here, in this house, with you....I can't think. I need space and fresh air and..." She squared her shoulders and met his eyes. "I'm going to Highgrove for a little while."

"Highgrove?" His eyebrows lifted; half worried because she was leaving, half relieved she was going there. "But my father and Camilla are out of the country..."

"I know," she nodded. "But he told me once that I could go whenever I wanted..."

"Of course."

"And I had Thomas call out to the staff and they said I could go and stay and..." Her head tipped to the side as she softened. "I just need some space Harry and Highgrove...it has plenty of space."

"Okay," he nodded; sad and reeling, but agreeing to her wants. "If that's what you want, then of course you should go. How long will you be?"

"I don't know," she shook her head.

"Okay," he looked down at his hands. "Um...Buckie's Christening is coming up, will you be back for that or..."

"Of course," Maddie sighed. "We're his Godparents, Harry. Of course I'll be back for that."

"Okay," Harry tried for a smile but it came up weak and lopsided. "When are you leaving?"

"Now," she answered. "There's a car out front."

"Okay," he cleared his throat. "Can I call you while you're gone or..."

"I'm not trying to punish you Harry," she took a step forward. "I'm not trying to...." She shook her head. "I just need to go for a bit." She took a breath. "You can call me."

His face brightened and his shoulders eased. That was something. Hearing the knock at the door, they both glanced towards it and then Maddie looked back to him.

"That's me,"

"Yeah."

"Okay..." She took a few steps towards the door, turning back in the doorway to look at him. "I'll see you in a few days."

"I'll look forward to it," Harry smiled. "And if you need anything from me, anything at all..."

"Okay," Maddie nodded. "Good-bye Harry."

"Good-bye," his voice cracked. "I love you Maddie."

She blinked her eyes and took a breath. "I love you too Harry."

And with that, she was gone; leaving Harry, this moment, and their lives on pause—off to find space. And fresh air. And, hopefully, a bit of resolution.

Nothing was over, nothing was resolved and she was, in all affects, walking out the door and leaving him to stew on his own.

But she loved him. And that was something; a big something. Though his stomach still hadn't settled, though his mind was still at work trying to figure this all out, though he very much wanted somebody to pay for what had just unfolded—he was going to take a deep breath and try for calm.

And he was going to wait for his wife to come home.