The Unexpected Journey-A Prince Harry Fan Fic

Chapter 139

Maddie wasn't exactly sure when it was the mood shifted on their holiday. She couldn't pin point what she was doing or the time it really moved. But it had moved; from the lively, jolly nature that came with pulling one over on Harry to this new place. It wasn't necessarily heavy as it settled over them. It wasn't tension or anxiety but it was something that pulled at their attention; at their hearts. They had gone from loud, wild laughter as Harry had pulled her fully clothed into the shower with him, to this new peaceful calm that passed between them as they finished dressing for dinner.

"You're staring at me," Maddie smiled as she looked herself over in the mirror, not needing to look at him to know that it was true.

"Guilty," he smiled at her from across the room, straightening his tie and pulling at the sleeves of his tuxedo jacket. "Though if I were you, I would get used to that tonight." Maddie turned to face him, taking in the handsomeness that came so easily to him.

"You're going to keep your eyes on me?" Her face took on a flirty nature; coy and smug.

"I have to," he shook his head, moving closer in on her. "I let my eyes off of you for a second and you're plotting with my family to take me down."

"So much drama," she grinned up at him as he pressed close; his hands resting on her hips. "Should I be on the lookout throughout dinner?"

"You should," he leaned in to nuzzle her neck. "I might try to steal your dessert."

"I'll stab you with my fork," she giggled as his mouth tickled her skin, her hands holding onto his shoulders as he tipped her back just a bit.

"Not a chance. I have quick reflexes," he tipped her back up and took a half a step back. "You ready love?"

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Maybe it was the candlelight. The way it flickered, making everything seem shiny and warm. The way it bounced off of Harry's mess of ginger hair, the way it made his eyes dance. Maybe it was the fact that the Queen was there; appearing so regal and elegant yet speaking to them just as a grandmother would; lovingly and with soft warmth. Maybe it was the way Harry's family made her feel welcome in their own individual, unique ways.

The way Peter had called her weeks ago to let her know about the games they played, asking her to join them in what they felt was the only opportunity to play with Harry.

The way Anne had spoken to her in the library; about the kidnapping attempts, about her visit to Camp Bastion.

The way Charles and hugged her close and let her know he was looking forward to seeing her marksmanship at their Boxing Day hunt.

The way even Arthur offered up a smile to his Aunt Maddie when she bent her face to kiss his chubby cheeks.

It was the way the room was immaculately decorated; pristine and elegant. It was the way the family was with each other; loving and chiding and full of a wit and sarcasm with an underlying current of deep affection.

It reminded her of her own family, of her adopted Bendal family, of her home with Harry. It was everything a Christmas among loved ones should be.

And it was with that gravity, with that warm, consuming love and emotion that Maddie sat at that long table—across from Harry and between Mike and Peter. It was with that depth that she met Harry's eyes and smiled; soft and sweet. And she could see it in his face, he was feeling it too.

This was a big moment for them; their first Christmas as a married couple. Truly, it was their first Christmas together at all; given the unique circumstances. Though Harry was proud to finally have here there with his family, proud to have her with him, there was a part of him, a large part of him, that wished he could whisk her away to some far remote location and spend their first Christmas with only a warm fire, lots of champagne, and each other.

But that's not how this was meant to be; that's not how their lives were supposed to go. So he took a deep breath, steadying his scattered emotions and he tossed a wink across the table to her and she tossed one right back. In truth, neither of them were going to have a problem making this a close, intimate, meaningful Christmas—even if they were among family.

As Charles rose to his feet and the attention of the group shifted to him, gearing up for a toast, Maddie tore her eyes from her husbands and let it all wash over her.

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Dinner had passed with great conversation and amazing food. They had been excused from the table, they had gathered for the much lauded gift exchange; laughing over the wild and often inappropriate items that were unwrapped. They had played cards, they had drank champagne. They had posed for photos; the entire family, their immediate family. Them. They had listened to old familial stories that had been told and retold over the years; stories that still drew them all to silence and grins. They had sat close to each other, kept in contact with each other; they had been together throughout.

Later into the night, much later than Maddie would have guessed, the families had begun to disperse; making their ways to their own rooms, some to sleep, others to change and come down from the busy day. They all had an early morning call time and they still had the next night to connect. When Maddie and Harry stepped into their own room, Harry was quick to bring her to him, high off the emotions that had passed between them at dinner, the way she had stayed with him the entire night.

"Dance with me..." His voice was low and a bit rough as he tugged on her hand. It was late and they were sleepy; spent from the revelry and the festivities. But he pulled. And she went.

"Oh..." Maddie gasped as he tucked her tight into the circle of his arms, giving her no time for protest or thought. He took one hand in his as his other slid into the home he had made on the small of her back. "But Captain..." She turned warm eyes to him. "You always say I step on your toes."

"Step on my toes," he shrugged, moving his cheek against hers as they began to sway. "Stand on my feet if you want to..."

"Hmmm..." Maddie let out a soft moan of a sound, feeling the emotion that seemed to pulse from him. Sliding her hand up his shoulder to the back of his neck, she nuzzled in; wanting to be closer. Her eyes fluttered closed and she let him hold her. She let him press her to him, she let him dance her around their music-less suite. She let him have this moment where it was just them in this silence, in this space with the lit fire and the dim lights.

"Have you had a happy Christmas?" He whispered against her cheek, his breath puffing her hair as he spoke.

"I have," she smiled, a small nod moving her skin against his. "I'm happy to finally be spending it with you..."

"Oh me too," he agreed with a groan, spinning them both around as his hand tightened at her waist. He had waited a long time to have her next to him for the holiday. "Did you talk to your mother?"

"I did," Maddie smiled at the memory; smiled at their small talk. Even dressed in formal ware, even dancing in the private residence of The Queen, even with the elegant dinner and the candles...they still came down to this; the normal back and forth of a marriage. "She's excited to see us next week."

"Of course," Harry nodded, excited to spend time with Maddie's family. "Did you speak with Collins?"

"I did," Maddie's eyes grew sad for a moment. "They are at his mother's home for the holiday. Isaiah is going to open our gifts tomorrow night if you want to get online with him and watch."

"I would," Harry grinned; the image of watching Isaiah tear through the wrapping momentarily blocking out the sadness that came with the stark realization as to how much their family had changed that year. Swallowing that back for a moment, trying to stay with the merriment, Harry kissed Maddie's temple and rubbed love into the back of her hand with his thumb. And then, in a moment of sentiment, a moment that hung heavy for him as he couldn't help but remember their lost friend, he stopped dancing and wrapped his arms clear around her; hugging her just as close was he could get her. And just when Maddie thought he might be overcome by the weight of the emotion, just when she thought he may be starting to crumble, he whispered against her. "You know...I have a gift for you."

"Other than the sweat bands you gave me to wear while running?" Maddie's eyes danced as she laughed, as he moved back from her just a bit.

"Other than that," he chuckled and released his tight hold on her. "Let me get it," he lifted her hand to his lips and then stepped away from her, moving to the stand next to his side of the bed. Maddie moved to the chest of drawers on the wall, locating the package she had brought for him.

"I hope you followed the rules this year," she stepped from her shoes as she moved towards the bed, pulling her dress up as she moved towards the middle.

"I did," he grinned, toeing off his shoes and joining her on the bed; package in hand. "It is small, personal and..."

"Not extravagant," she finished. It was a deal they had struck; an arrangement they had made for all of their gifts for the other. "Here's yours," she held out the small square box.

"Fantastic," he stretched his legs out and around the pool of her dress, handing over her package.

"This is heavy," she juggled the weight in her hand. "Harry Wales, did you give me a bag of rocks?"

"You are shockingly close," he winked at her. "Why don't you open it and find out?"

"Actually, if it's okay..." She rested the gift in her lap and nodded to the one in his hands. "I would like for you to open yours first."

"Oh?" He grinned down at the gift, his inner child peeking through; excited.

"You said you wanted..." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly; her eyes turning down just a bit as her mind slipped to the upcoming deployment. "You said you wanted something you could take with you."

"I did," he nodded, meeting her eyes with a smile; trying for reassurance as his fingers began to peel back the paper. He lifted the lid and pushed inside the folded tissue paper, his fingers closing around the small, stiff piece of fabric. "What's this..." He pulled out an embroidered patch and took it in. And his face grew soft. "Madeline..."

"It's our family crest," Maddie spoke softly. "The House of Sussex. I had a patch made. I thought...I don't know. Maybe we could sew it on your bag or a t-shirt or..."

"I know the perfect place," he ran his thumb over the embroidery, over their joint crest and a solemn, happy look took over his eyes. "This is wonderful, thank you." Pressing the patch to his chest, he leaned forward; drawing her lips to his for a slow, sweet kiss.

"You like it?" Her eyes danced in his as she pressed her forehead against his.

"I do," he nodded. "I love it." He kissed her again, savoring the taste of her lips; champagne and cake. Before he could be swept up in the emotions that were starting to prick to the surface, he pulled back and took a breath. "Now. About this bag of rocks..."

Maddie chuckled, allowing him to move away from her for the time being. She knew that eventually their attempts to dance around his upcoming deployment, around this monster of emotions that seemed to be poking at them both, were going to run out, she knew that they were going to end up talking about it, crying about it. She knew it was coming. Just not quite yet.

"This is a beautiful package," she admired the paper. "Did you wrap it yourself?"

"Do I get extra points if I did?" He grinned as he watched her.

"Are we accumulating points?" She laughed and lifted the lid to the box.

"It couldn't hurt," he joked. Maddie pulled out the balls of tissue paper, reaching into the deep box and pulling out a cloth bag. Her eyes flashed up to him.

"Harry..." She brushed the box aside and sat the bag on the pooled fabric of her dress. She pulled at the tie and opened the top of the bag. "It really is a bag of..." She looked inside. Her heart thudded and her eyes slid right up to his. "Marbles." She wavered. "It's a bag of marbles."

"Antique clay marbles," he corrected, his fingers reaching to run over hers. "There are one hundred and twenty marbles. One for every day..."

"Harry..." That was it. She was done. She couldn't have kept the tears away from her eyes any more than she could keep the thoughts of his deployment from her mind. Her fingers moved to her face, pressing at her lips, brushing at the tears on her cheeks.

"I didn't know what the rules were about using the old ones, so I thought..." He trailed off, half a smile on his lips as though he wanted to joke, as though he needed to joke. But things were serious and she was upset. "I didn't mean to make you cry." His hands lifted to her face, following hers as they swiped at her wet cheeks. "I didn't mean to make you sad."

"You didn't," she shook her head, eyes wide as she looked at him. "What a beautiful thing to give me..." She sniffed and looked down at the bag in her hand, pulling a few marbles into her fingers; examining their color, their texture. "These are beautiful Harry. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he watched her for a moment, noticing the struggle in her eyes, in the way she was fighting to keep emotions away. "Maddie..." He warmed over her name as he squeezed her toe, wanting to pull her back to him, away from the sorrow that was taking over her face.

"Sorry..." Her voice croaked, her hands waving in front of her face as though she were trying to wave off the emotion, the tears. "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay," he shook his head.

"It's not," she let a light laugh through her tears. "It's Christmas and it's supposed to be happy and..."

"It's okay," he tugged at her foot, wanting her closer.

"I'm scared." Her voice was small and soft and it cracked as the tears came. "I'm sorry. I'm just...really scared."

"I know you are baby," he moved the marbles from her lap, sat them to the side and he gathered her into his arms. "Come here. What are you scared of?"

Maddie blinked at his words, the emotions inside of her swelling at his question, at the answers she had. And her quiet, simple tears continued as she pressed her face into his chest. "I'm scared of losing you..." She whispered. "I'm scared something will happen to you. I'm scared this is our last Christmas together. I'm scared we'll never have babies. I'm scared that I'll get a phone call one night or that your brother will show up at my door and..." She shook her head. "I'm scared to be apart from you for four months. I'm scared of doing this alone of...being without you..." She tried to control her breathing, tried to control her tears, but it was clear; she had no control over her words any longer. All of her fears were pouring from her. "I'm scared of all those mornings I have to wake up and you're not there. I'm scared of going to sleep without you and...God Harry..." Her voice broke. "I'm scared I'll never stop feeling this way, that I'll never stop worrying and feeling out of control and..." She took a deep, shaky breath and wrapped her arms around him; hugging him tight and close to her. "I'm scared you'll hate me for feeling this way, for making this moment sad and I'm scared that you'll resent me for wanting you home and..." Harry's arms tightened around her then. He didn't know what to say, didn't know if he could find his way past the emotion piling up in the lump in his throat to even say anything. So he held her closer and tighter and he let her unload.

In truth, he was scared too. He was scared that this might wreck her, scared that he was leaving her alone to fend for herself. Scared that the role, the family might swallow her up while he was gone. He was scared that this would permanently scar them and somewhere deep down, he was scared of something happening. Scared of the possibility that he could get hurt, or worse. Scared that if he did, she would never ever forgive him.

"I'll never resent you," his voice had a shake to it; a hiccup that Maddie caught, that brought her back from her spiral. Back to him. She turned her face, pressing a kiss to his cheek before she pulled back just an inch or so; just enough to look at him. He took her face in his hands then and put more distance between them, wanting her to really see; wanting to watch as he tried to get it through to her. "I could never hate you," his eyes blinked at the idea; tears teasing at his lids. "Jesus Maddie. I love you...so fucking much. Would you just...stop... I couldn't hate you. I couldn't resent you. I..." He took a deep breath and though he wanted to pull back, though he wanted to keep avoiding, he knew he couldn't any longer. So he pulled her forehead to his and they sat there for a moment. Their breath fell in synch, their hearts thumping to a slower rhythm and when he finally felt himself collect, he opened his eyes and locked with hers. "Yes. Something could happen to me..."

Maddie tried to shake her head, tried to pull back, "Harry...." But he held firm.

"It's a war Madeline. Something could happen..." He struggled as he watched a tear slip from her eye. "I swear to you on all eight of those babies we're going to have that I will do everything in my power to make sure that nothing happens." Her eyes shifted down, her vision clouding with tears and he knew that she was sinking. But he couldn't have her do that. Not yet. His hand at her neck slid higher. "Look at me..." He was gentle but firm in his request, his fingers pressing her chin up to him. "Baby...look at me." When she did, he wasn't prepared for the emotions she brought with her; the way it slammed into his heart and he felt tears in his eyes, so fucking close to the surface. "You have to trust me. You have to believe me...nothing can keep me from coming back to you. Nothing." He leaned his lips to hers; light and chaste. "Haven't you figured that out yet?"

"I'm going to miss you..." The vulnerability in her voice did him in and he broke; his strong exterior giving way to the feelings flowing inside. His hands left her for only a second, his forehead left hers and his lips moved to her mouth.

As his arms wrapped tightly around her, as his lips pressed promises into hers, he wasn't sure exactly how it was he could possibly convey it all to her; his hopes, his fears, his primal instinct to protect her. From all of this.

So he went for silence. He went for warm, loving, all-consuming silence. He needed her; in a way that he would never be able to explain. And he knew she needed him, in exactly the same way.

In a blink of an eye, a stroke of a tongue, they moved together.

"Harry..." She breathed into his mouth.

And everything was pushed aside as they connected. His hand pressed flat against her back, warming the bare skin that was there and Maddie adjusted in his arms, moving into his lap without a second thought.

Her legs curved around him. His hands pushed up under the skirt of her dress, all along smooth stockings to the warm, soft skin that bared just above the lacy top to those stockings. There was no fumbling in those moments; his fingers expert at the clasp to her garter belt. His hands easily pulling the silk fabric down her legs, all the way behind him to where her feet were linked around his waist.

And then they moved to her face; cupping her gently in the palms of his hands, his fingers pressing up into her hair as he tilted her lips to his. He kissed her; over and over and over again. His lips worked against hers in a slow simmering build of a way with kisses that were meant to be given sweetly; chastely, but when delivered one right after another with the long slow linger of his tongue in her mouth, of his lips wrapped around hers.

It was a slow, deep spiral she was heading towards. And she knew it. Maddie's hands slid up his strong arms, over his broad shoulders and pulled at the slip of fabric that was his untied tie from the evening. It slid from around his neck with a quick swoosh of a sound and was quickly discarded.

No need for this, Maddie managed a moment of thought as her hands slid back to his shoulders for a moment. Her palms pressed against the strong muscles there as she held onto him; needing a second of stability. Catching her breath, growing accustomed to his tongue in her mouth, his lips dancing against hers, she slid her hands down his chest, over his pounding heart and moved straight towards the buttons on his crisp, white shirt.

There was no mishandling, no searching or struggling. Maddie had his shirt unbuttoned and was pushing it off those amazing shoulders, those strong arms in no time at all. Harry's hands left her face so she could take the shirt all the way off and when his hands returned to her, they moved around to her back; pulling at the zipper to her dress, helping the fabric fall away from her.

In two beats of his heart, Maddie was tugging his t-shirt up and over his head; forcing his lips and his hands from her body. So he took advantage and pulled the small sleeves of her dress down her arms and the dress sagged; the beautiful silk fabric folding down and revealing the top half of the matching lingerie Maddie had chosen for this particular night, for this exquisite dress.

Harry's lips turned into a smile and his hands fell to her hips where he held her and pulled her closer; needing her there. As the lace of her bra pressed against his bare chest, Maddie could feel the deep, wild breaths he was taking. She was taking them too.

"I want to make love to you," her admission was easy; simple and sweet and so completely genuine. Her eyes were wide and open and even though they had remnants of tears, even though they gave promise of further discussion, further emotion—they also held an abundance of love; of desire. "Harry..." She wrapped her arms around his neck and tightened her legs around his body. "I want to feel you...inside of me. I want your body against mine, your mouth on me...Harry..."

His hand slid up her back to the nape of her neck, bringing her face to his; pressing his lips to hers. This kiss wasn't as slow as the ones before. It was intense and deep and laid the path for exactly how the rest of the night was going to be.

Intense and deep.

They moved easily together then, their lips staying together as he made fast work of her bra, as her fingers slipped to his pants; unzipping and slipping inside. They had to pull apart, this they knew. They were completely undressed from the waist up but from the waist down...they had to pull apart.

Though neither of them really wanted to. Maddie moved first, scooting back and off his lap, taking his hand to pull him with her. Once they were on their feet, Harry's strong arms were wrapped around her, hugging her tightly to him as his mouth opened wider over hers, his tongue dipping into her mouth to stroke at hers. Maddie exhaled; long and slow into his mouth, her body growing a bit weak there in his arms. It took her only a moment to gain her wits back and her hands moved quickly to the work she had begun at his pants. She tucked her fingers into the waistband and pushed them down over his legs, sending them to pool around his ankles on the floor.

Stepping out of the fabric, Harry kicked it to the side and moved attention to her dress. With sure hands and soft fingers, he brought the zipper further down and gathered her closer for support as she stepped out of it.

And then there they were. The soft flicker of the fire dancing over their nearly naked bodies, both of them in their underwear. There were times in their lives, times in their relationship when this moment would have been the beginning of a big tease. Harry would have slipped a long, firm finger over the lace of her panties and stroked against her until she would moan and press him closer to the wetness he had created. There were times when Maddie would wrap her fingers around the hard length of him, where she might slip her hot hand into his boxers and circle the head of him until he was ready to burst.

There were times when this moment became a long, drawn out tease of a foreplay.

But not tonight. There was no teasing as Harry's hands slid across her skin, over her backside, pushing into the lace and pushing it down. There was no teasing as Maddie tugged at the boxers and let them fall to his feet. Though they loved the tease, found great use and desire for the tease—this was not a moment for the tease.

Harry's hands were back around her waist, Maddie's fingers were buried in his hair and both of them were doing their level best to bring the other as close as they possibly could. Harry walked them back to the bed, finding it with the back of his knees before he stopped. His hands moved reverently over her, over her curves, over her breasts. Maddie arched into his palm, fingers holding tight to the muscles in his neck, in his shoulders, in his arms. She loved the feel of him against her, the feel of his skin on her skin and all she really wanted was to be with him.

"Harry..." She begged with the tone of her voice. As much as she loved this, as much as she adored the things he could do to her with a swipe of his thumb or a stroke of his tongue, what she really needed was to be absolutely connected with him.

And he knew that. So he moved them to the bed; bringing her with him to the center and watching with lust filled eyes and a love filled heart as she laid back, pulling at his hand for him to join her; her legs adjusting to make room for him between them. Harry leaned over her, his hands bracing on either side of her head and he kissed her; a long, slow, art form of a kiss and then he pulled back. Maddie whimpered as he moved away from her and he couldn't help but smile at the sound she made, at the fact that she missed him.

"I have to get..." He waved to the nightstand; to the condoms in the drawer and he made a move towards it but Maddie's hand wrapped around his forearm and stopped him. His forehead crinkled in confusion; his eyes widening as he looked down at her. "Maddie..."

"Not tonight," her voice was a whisper and her eyes held steady with his. "I want to feel you. All of you. I don't want anything between us..." Her hold loosened on his arm and she smiled; blinking at the emotions that seemed to be continuously at the surface lately. "It's okay if you don't want to..." But Maddie couldn't finish that sentence, because Harry had returned to her; his mouth opening hot and insistent and heavy over hers. His tongue moved into her mouth and stroked against hers in that long, slow, maddeningly way she knew he was about to do with his body. She grew hot and heavy-breathed and then he pulled back; pressing his forehead to hers and opening his eyes to look down at her.

"Are you sure?" He kissed her lightly. "You know that you could end up pregnant without me here or..."

"I know," she nodded, moving both of their heads just a bit. "It's not very likely. The timing is off and it wouldn't be the right time to..." His lips met hers again, one hand sliding down her side, over her hip to her knee, pulling her leg wider and higher and she could feel him hot and hard and ready right at her entrance. She gasped at the feel and arched out against him and she felt his groan in his chest. "Harry..." She whispered, her hand behind his neck pulling his lips back to hers. "Make love to me. Please. I..."

And then, because he needed no convincing, because an explanation or reasoning was completely unnecessary, because he wanted to be as close to her as he possibly could, because the off chance that she might end up pregnant was never something that scared him or made him nervous, because he loved her, because he wanted her and this and because his own heart was so full of this moment, Harry's fingers pressed into her hip as his mouth met hers and he slipped—long and slow and so incredibly hard—into her warm, wet body.

They both groaned at the way they moved; the way the other felt and they paused; holding onto that for just a moment, neither of them moving as they savored the way it was to have him buried so deep inside of her, to have him so close. And then, with a loving, warm kiss to Maddie, Harry began to move.

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Christmas Day awakened them all with a bright, shining sun and a cold, crisp air. Maddie's nose was rosy and she could see breath puff out of their mouths as they spoke, as they readied to take that walk to Saint Mary Magdalene's. They were all there; the whole lot of them. The older generation; Charles, Camilla, Andrew, Anne, Tim, Edward; they were out ahead. This was old hat to them and they had come to enjoy the tradition; setting it up next to all of the other traditions that were held so dear at this time of year, to this particular Matriarch.

The rest of the family gathered in less organized fashion; the cousins spending the last few seconds of their time razzing each other in a way that spoke of love and childhood. Maddie could imagine that they had done exactly this for as many years as they had been able to talk and it made her smile. Harry was close to her side. He had kept within arms' reach of her all morning and she wasn't entirely sure if it was for her benefit or for his own. But it didn't matter. She was happy to have him close enough to touch.

"Okay wife," he turned his attention from Zara's round stomach back to his wife; rosy cheeks and bright eyes. "Are you ready?" Maddie tilted a smile up to him and nodded. She was ready. He reached for her hand, the heat from his obvious even through their gloves. Slipping her hand through his crooked arm, he turned them both towards the path. Maddie fell easily into step with him; matching him stride for stride as her lungs sucked in the cold winter air and the others all moved along with them.

"Oh my..." Maddie's hand tightened on Harry's arm as they rounded the corner and looked past those in front of them, through the open gate at the masses of people lining the walk way.

"Don't worry," Harry's voice was low and deep, a smirk flickering across his face. "They're all here to see Kate."

"Funny," next to her, Kate narrowed her gaze on her brother-in-law all while smiling sweetly.

"Watch your step Sussex," Mike spoke up from behind her. "Don't want to fall on your ass over a patch of ice in front of all those cameras."

"Thank you," Harry tossed a glare over his shoulder.

"Tell me," Maddie smiled up at him. "Do you think I have enough time to fix Mike's nose?"

"Ouch," Mike snickered playfully as she continued.

"Or will they catch it on camera?" A warm chuckle rounded the group around her and Harry patted her fingers.

"They'll catch it on camera, love." He shrugged. "Maybe after service?"

"Maybe then," Maddie nodded and continued on. Maddie could hear the rustle of excitement from the throngs of people who had turned out on this crisp morning. She could see them move closer as Charles and Anne walked through the gates; Tim, Camilla, and Andrew directly behind them.

There were so many people; more than Maddie had expected to be there on Christmas morning. They spanned all ages; babies bundled up in oversized winter clothing, making them look like wobbly pandas and overstuffed teddy bears. There were grandmothers and, Maddie guessed, great-grandmothers; some standing tall, straining to snap a photo of this famous family. And there were those seated in wheelchairs, having been pushed to the walkway by another, younger family member—some happy to be there, some not as much.

Maddie watched their faces as she and Harry stepped through the gate along with Kate and William. The boys took to the outside as though they were forming this unspoken, unplanned barrier of themselves between this moment and their wives. This was Maddie's first walk and it was Kate's first since everything that had followed Arthur's birth. As if either of these men needed reason to want to take the brunt of the attention.

Maddie watched their faces as they turned their wide smiles, their bright eyes from one generation of royals to another; to them. And it struck her—seeing the way their faces lit up, the affection they turned to them. It struck her for the first time really, shockingly, how big this really was. She wasn't just married to Harry; to the Duke of Sussex. She was married to that little red-headed baby boy who had toddled around Sandringham, that smiling, cheeky little man who many of these people had watched grow into the man who now walked past them with a wife. Tears pricked to her eyes and she sniffed; a warm realization washing over her face and into her heart.

These people—They knew him. They loved him.

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It was the music. It was always the music. Sitting in that immaculate church surrounded by beautiful paintings and carvings and meticulous pieces of artistry that made Maddie desperately want to sit in this space all alone in a peaceful sort of silence. It was enough to bring her wandering mind rushing right back to this spot; to this moment.

Sitting next to Harry; his hand holding onto hers in a way that was more need than want, sitting two rows behind The Queen; who was very much Gran inside of these walls. Sitting in this place of worship that had been a place of worship before Maddie's home country had been established, in this place that held so much history—not just for the world, but for this family that was now hers.

She had no idea why she had been so emotional lately. She knew—but it confused her. Harry had been deployed before; he had left her before. And he had returned. But for some reason, this seemed to be sitting with her in a way she hadn't expected. Even still, long after she had grieved over the news.

She had no idea why it was she couldn't seem to keep the feelings at bay, keep the emotions from overflowing the surface.

It must have been the music. It always was the music that did her in. Drew her to tears.

It was beautiful; the voices, the lyrics, the sentiment behind them. She loved it. And yet it tore at her heart. Twisting her fingers around Harry's, she drew his hand nearer and she had no way of knowing that he was fighting much the same battle as she.

He knew she was crying; he knew she had been crying in one way or another since the news of his deployment had come. Though there was a part of him that wished she could find a way to move past it; to accept and fall in. There was another part of him that was swept away by the knowledge that this person sitting next to him, this woman who he had met less than five years ago, this woman who had been a stranger before a friend before a lover before a wife...that she who had linked herself to him in matrimony, she who was ready to link herself to him in parenthood—that she whom he loved more than he could articulate most days—that she would feel his absence so heavily from her heart that she was already feeling it; weeks before he left.

It was that; that kind of love and devotion and partnership; it was always that realization that did him in. Drew him to tears.

But it was a joyous occasion. The music was praiseful, the spirit enlightened so they clung to each other in that ancient church and they lifted their eyes to the ceiling—because they really couldn't look at the other—and they put smiles with the teary eyes and they held tight and fast.

And they didn't let go.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"There you are!" Harry stepped into the rooms occupied by his brother and his family, his eyes finding Maddie as he let out a breath of relief. "I've been looking all over for you." They had been online with Collins and Isaiah for a while and she had slipped out of the room when he had closed things down and stepped into the restroom.

"Well now that can't be true..." Her voice had the soft upspring that always came when she spoke to the chubby, happy little man in her arms. "What do you think Arthur? Do you think Uncle Harry's been looking everywhere or is he just being a drama Queen?"

As if on cue, their nephew cooed and they both melted. Maddie snuggled him closer and inhaled his hair.

"Do his parents know you have him?" He leaned in to kiss first Arthur's head and then Maddie's.

"No," she shook her head, catching his lips with a kiss of her own.

"Should we make a run for it?" He lifted his eyebrows, his fingers tickling along Arthur's stomach, making him squirm in Maddie's arms.

"Absolutely," she nodded with a wide grin. "What about his officers?"

"I'll distract them while you boost him from his room." Harry chuckled at the look on his nephew's face.

"I'm not even sure what you just said to my son..." William stepped back into the room, his eyes narrowing at the two of them; Kate right behind him. "Though I can absolutely tell it wasn't good."

"Aw, come on," Harry laughed, waving his hand towards Will.

"Are Uncle Harry and Aunt Maddie corrupting you?" Kate moved to her son, smiling as she lifted him from Maddie's arms. "Come on, love. Let's get you bundled up."

"Is it time?" Harry's jokes fell away as he looked to his watch.

"Nearly," Will nodded his head, tossing a sweater onto the bed and looking them over. "You'll probably want coats."

Maddie looked from one brother to another with a warm gaze. "Time for what?" She folded her arms in front of her. "Coats for what?"

"We're going out," Harry's arm slid easily around her, tugging her body closer to his.

"Out?" She looked past him to the dark outside the frosted windows. "For what?"

"Another Christmas tradition," he shrugged.

"There are more Christmas traditions?" She smirked. There had been so many that day; greeting people after the service, the gala luncheon, watching The Queen's Christmas address.

"There are always more traditions," Kate looked up from where she readied Arthur. "You should know that by now, Duchess." Her eyes were bright and her cheeks warm as she glanced to her sister-in-law.

"Nobody is going to tell me more?" She took a breath and let it sigh from her lungs. She already knew the answer to that. "Coats?" She looked to her husband who already had a cheeky grin in place.

"And mittens and hats and scarves and boots..." He rattled off the list of winter wear she would need for this particular trip. "How long?" He glanced to his brother.

"Ten," William answered. "Cars out front in ten."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

As they loaded into the dark Range Rovers, their feet crunching the nearly frozen snow on the ground, Maddie was surprised to find that it was just them. Herself, Harry, William, Kate and Arthur. There was a car behind loaded with protection officers but for this particular tradition, William would be driving this small collection of people. As Kate secured Arthur's carrier in the middle of the back seat, Harry opened Maddie's door watched her warmly as she went to move past him.

"Hold on," he caught her arm and shut the door in front of her.

"What?" She turned an amused grin to him. "Am I not allowed to go any longer?" She was joking, her spirits having lifted after the service, after seeing all of the people and spending time with the cousins. She was in a lighter mood.

"No, no," he shook his head; his hands moving to her arms, rubbing up and down a few times as he prepared to let her in on the secret. "We're going to see my mother's family."

"We are," Maddie's voice went low, her breath pulling in. She hadn't spent much time with this side of Harry's family and she was surprised to find that she was surprised they were going there.

"Sarah and Neil have a home not too far away. They are all there for the holiday this year," Harry nodded his head in the general direction they would be traveling. "We try to go see them every year."

"That's sweet," Maddie stepped to him, her arms wrapping around his waist.

"I'm going to tell them," his eyes grew slightly dark. "My aunts at least."

"Tonight?" Maddie's eyebrows lifted, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"I know," he sighed, understanding that Christmas probably wasn't the best time to drop the news; but he hadn't seen them in person since he had been told and he likely wasn't to see them again before he left. "But..." He looked over the top of her head, out into the cold darkness and he shrugged.

"Okay," Maddie agreed, her hand running up his arm, comforting. "Okay. It's okay." She leaned up to kiss him. Her fingers pressed his cheek as her lips pressed against the other. "Let me know if you need anything?"

"Yes," he nodded and watched her for a beat of a second before Will knocked on the glass of the window, waving them inside the car. "Coming!" He called in to his brother and reached for the handle. He smiled down at Maddie for a moment, unable to articulate the way it made him feel to see her react to talk of the deployment without immediate tears. And then he opened her door and watched as she slid past him inside. Closing the door behind her, he stepped into the passenger seat next to his brother and they were on their way.

Maddie situated quickly; buckling her belt and turning her attention to the sleepy little baby between her and Kate. "You're going to your parents' tomorrow?"

"Mmm," Kate nodded, her smile deepening at the thought. "First thing, yes." They would be missing the hunt, but it was a compromise.

"Your parents must be ecstatic." Maddie caught his little fingers around one of hers, running a thumb over the soft skin.

"They are," Kate grinned. "I would imagine Arthur will be well spoiled by the time we're through with them."

"I would imagine," Maddie agreed, glancing out of the window as they drove along. "I can't believe we're already at the end of the year..."

Kate watched Maddie for a moment and then reached for her hand; her fingers were gentle as she drew the blonde's attention and her voice was low when she spoke. "Are you doing okay?"

Maddie's eyes swung up to Kate's in a flash of surprise and then they settled into understanding. And though she felt a little teary, she didn't cry. Instead she took a deep breath and allowed her lips to curve up just a bit. "Yes?" She asked more than answered, a tiny bubble of laughter pushing through her lips. Kate chuckled a bit, understanding more than most what Maddie meant.

"Well, you're handling it better than I would," Kate eased back a bit, allowing Maddie a chance to escape the conversation. "I think I would be a blubbery mess."

"I am," Maddie breathed. "I have been. I just..." She glanced up at the two men in their own conversation; Will's eyes trained on the road as he debated with his brother. "I'm trying not to be."

"Well, if there's anything I can do," Kate offered; her voice quiet and solemn as she extended an open invitation to Maddie. "Anything..." She met her eyes then and smiled; remembering their history. "I'd be happy to come and sit in the bathroom for hours..."

"Ha," Maddie laughed softly, her heart warming at the way Kate offered, at the meaning and sentiment behind her words. "Thank you. I'll be sure to take you up on that."

"Any time," Kate's fingers squeezed Maddie's hand then, holding tight and then letting go. "Any time."

Before they could slip further into the emotions they were both juggling, Harry—in true Harry fashion—jumped into the conversation.

"What are you two birds chirping about back there?" He tossed a look back to them; half smirk, half curiosity.

"How ruggedly handsome you are," Maddie tossed back without missing a beat.

"Please," the brunette rolled her eyes and snickered.

"I'm actually trying to drive up here," Will jumped in and the laughter settled the group.

It wasn't long before Will turned their vehicle through a gate and down a long, winding road draped in trees and snow. They pulled up to the massive home and stepped out into the night that seemed to be growing colder and colder. Harry's hand slid around her shoulders; tucking her in and closer to him. Maddie looked up at the house, the kind of house that would have blown her mind in the days before she had married a Prince, before she had moved into a Palace. It was large and sprawling and as they followed the Cambridge's up the stoop, the door swung open and the warm, vibrant life inside came pouring out.

It was Harry's uncle, the Earl Spencer; tall and broad in the doorway, seemingly taking up all of the space. With a loud voice that competed with the celebrations behind him, he wished them a Happy Christmas and invited them in.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"I have something for you," Harry spoke to just Maddie as they left the very same house later that night.

"Oh?" She perked up; her eyes, her smile. They hadn't stayed too long; just long enough for the cousins to coo over baby Arthur. Just long enough for Harry to let his mother's sisters in on this secret he was carrying, just long enough for Maddie to look through some old, rarely seen photos of the boys as children, of Diana as a young mother. It was sweet, Maddie thought, to be able to see these hidden gems, these moments from her husband's childhood. They had stayed just long enough for a drink and a biscuit and then they had left. Amidst hugs and wishes for Happy Christmas, they slipped back out the door and were on their way back to the cars to take them back to Sandringham. "What do you have for me?" Her face was light and free and Harry wanted nothing more than to snuggle into her and kiss her neck until her giggles gave in to sighs.

"You'll have to put your hand in my pocket to find out," his eyes danced with the innuendo, with the dare he placed before her.

"Fair enough," Maddie shrugged, not the least bit shy as she slipped her fingers into the pocket of his heavy wool coat. And her entire face lit up like the lights of the tree.

"Happy Christmas," he grinned like the cheeky little shit he was; the cheeky little shit she loved.

"You know," Maddie leaned into him, her fingers unwrapping the plastic wrapper of her candy. "I'm not sure I'm able to decide which of my gifts is my favorite."

Harry laughed, his arm around her flexing as he did. "I'm putting my money on the sweat bands."

"It's funny that you mention those, Captain," she dropped her voice as they stepped up to the car. "Because I think I have imagined an entirely different use for them." With a swift pat on his ass, Maddie slipped by him and opened her door. With a wide grin and wink, she moved into the car. Harry chuckled and shook his head and, moreover, he let out a breath he had been holding.

She was laughing and smiling and poking fun and making jokes and...she was coming back to him. From the sadness she had rightly been enveloped in for a while, she was coming back. He knew it would happen, he knew she would get there. And, though he knew she would ebb and flow like the lively creature she was, he was happy to be able to see a bit of this before he left. Climbing in next to his brother, he settled into his seat and felt his shoulders ease just a bit.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It was late when they finally pulled up outside Sandringham and though it was warm and toasty inside of the car, it was clearly not so outside. Arthur had been asleep for most of the ride home and the four of them had fallen into a gentle quiet; peaceful. The gravel and the snow crunched under the tires as they pulled to a stop and they all sat for a moment while Kate placed blankets over Arthur's carrier, protecting him from the nip outside. When the doors opened, Harry was quick to Maddie's, reaching for her hand as Will took the carrier from Kate and they headed towards the door.

"Walk with me for a minute?" Harry nodded his head towards the lawn with the tall, iced over trees spiking up towards the sky.

"Sure," Maddie agreed immediately, never having been one to turn down some quality time with her husband. Tucking her arm through his, he led her off towards the path to the lawn. "It's nice out..." She commented, looking up at the clear sky.

"It's freezing," Harry chuckled.

"It's Christmas," she corrected, leaning into him. "And it forces you to stand closer to me; seeking warmth."

"We don't need frost for that," he shook his head and kissed the side of hers. "Tell me, how did I ever convince you to marry me?"

"Hmmm..." Maddie smiled, pressing her lips together as she pretended to think about it. "I don't know..." She sighed and slipped her hand into his pocket. "Maybe it was the candy."

"Had to have been the candy," Harry chuckled.

"Or..." She unwrapped the piece, growing a tad romantic. "Maybe it was the way you showed up in the desert and swept me off my feet..." Their eyes met for a blink of seriousness, his face growing sweet as he remembered. "Your charm and your wit and your alarmingly contagious laughter..." She shrugged. "And your sweet ass."

"Ha!" Harry's head tipped back, his laughter echoing into the night. "Now that's just the candy talking."

"Yes," Maddie laughed in a light sigh. "Whatever it was...I'm glad it worked."

"Yeah?" He lifted an eyebrow. "Even now? Holed up in this drafty old house..."

"Drafty old house?" Maddie snickered at his description.

"Preparing for a deployment?" He sighed, bringing her closer. "Planning for a trip to the Arctic I won't even be here for..."

"Well," Maddie smiled, dropping her head to the side. "You weren't going to be much help with that anyway..." She could see him slipping into the sentiment where she had been most of the holiday.

"Yeah," he drew to a stop, turning to face her. "Even now?"

"Even now." Maddie's hand reached out, her fingers stroking down the profile of his nose, tapping the tip with a wink. "With all of the traditions and warmth and love and..."

"What if..." He took a breath and slid his hands from around her, down her arms, capturing her hands. "What if I told you that it's not over yet..."

"What's not over yet?" Her forehead crinkled in confusion.

"The holiday traditions..." And then she saw it, this wicked little glimmer in his eye and she knew. Something was up.

But she didn't have time to dig any further. She barely had time to recognize it and put a name to it. Because no sooner did her eyes narrow, the snow began to fly; not in the winter-time-flurry sense, but in the tightly-packed-snowball sense.

From all around them, the cousins ran out of hiding and snowballs were being tossed in nearly every direction; with Maddie and Harry right in the eye of the storm.

"What kind of tradition is this?!" She shrieked, ducking as the laughter and yelling began.

"I don't know," Harry shook his head and dropped her hand; bending down to collect some snow. "But I would suggest you start running."

Maddie's eyes glanced down at his hands and then back up to the smile on his face and she knew exactly who that ball in his hand was meant for.

"Henry Charles..." She held up a finger, slowly backing away from him.

"Madeline, darling," he shook his head, rising to his feet as he rolled the snow around in his hand. "I love you more than anything on the Earth, baby. You know I do. But..." He shook his head and laughed. "When Bea met me in the corridor yesterday and told me you were upstairs pissed out of your mind and crying...well, love. You chose sides that day."

And Maddie knew she was in for it, there was no talking her way out of this one. He was a stubborn, competitive man and there was no doubt in her mind that he was coming for her. So she did the only thing she could think of.

She ran.

But not in the way he had intended; not in the other direction. Instead she ran right for him. Harry barely had time to register his surprise when his wife; his tiny, beautiful, graceful wife plowed right into him; tackling him to the ground.

"OW!" He called out as he fell back; his ass taking the brunt of the fall, his body catching hers as the snow puffed up and around them. "Jesus Madeline. You brut!"

"You left me no choice," she laughed as she sat over his waist, looking down at his happy face. "What was I supposed to do?" She tossed snow into his face until he managed to snatch her wrists with his hands.

"You were supposed to run!" He shook his head and took control; wrapping his arms around her and rolling. Maddie squealed as he reversed their positions, looking down at her pink cheeks and bright smile. He leaned in to kiss her and she giggled against his lips. "You were supposed to run..."

"I did!"

"The other way!" He shook his head, snow flicking out from his hair and falling to her face.

"Ah..." She breathed, her arms twisting up and around his neck; her eyes taking on a clearly flirtatious look. "And what am I supposed to do now? Pinned underneath you? At your mercy?" Without answer, Harry grinned wide and bent to kiss her again. Once, twice and on the third time; slower and more intense.

"Oh bloody..." Mike groaned, catching sight of them. "Really now?"

"Knock it off!" Eugenie called out, kicking snow in their direction.

"Would you two get a bloody room?" Bea followed up.

And then, as the groans around them grew, the snowballs began to fly and this time their aim was right on.

"Captain," Maddie laughed as a snowball hit the back of Harry's head; snow flying as it puffed. "I think maybe you were right..."

"About the running?" He laughed and she nodded and then, with a shared look, they both moved; Harry quick to his feet and extending a hand. "Come with me." Maddie didn't think twice about taking his hand and following him.

With wild laughter, they ran from the onslaught of snow, seeking shelter behind at meticulously sculpted shrub to prepare their own defense. As he packed the snow together, he caught her in the corner of his eye. She was balling up snow of her own, watching those around them with a wide smile and a carefree look in her eyes and he knew.

She was going to be okay. She was going to be better than okay.