Black Winter[Completed]

Chapter 27

My mother's words keep floating through my mind all night. She had a point. I was not in love with Damien but I was halfway there. Whether or not we would ever be more than friends was a different story but if she was right, if he truly had feelings for me, I had to sort out my own jumbled emotions first. I knew I had to tell him about London sooner or later and I was terrified. I was scared that he would judge me, stare at me in disgust and worse of all, leave me. I would be alright if Damien only saw me as a best friend but if he hated me, I don't think I could bear it, not after seeing who he really is. I woke up extra early the next morning. The entire house was silent, everyone still asleep after a late night. After my heart to heart with mum last night, I was exceptionally quiet, standing in a corner and people observing. Damien knew something was up but I just told him that I was tired. I knew he didn't believe me but thankfully, he didn't push me further. I quickly got dressed and headed downstairs with my bags in tow. Grabbing an apple from the counter,I quickly scribbled a note saying that I had to go to London for a SSS emergency. At times like this, I was glad I was an agent. I got into my car and sped off back to New York. I reached home in less than an hour and quickly packed a bag for the night. Halfway to the private airport where my plane was waiting, my mum called. I guess she must have seen the note. I answered, only saying I was headed to London and I would be back tomorrow. She must have understood why I was going for she only said she loves me no matter what. As the plane was taking off, my phone rang again. It was Damien. My finger hovered over the screen and I let the call go to voicemail. I needed to do this by myself for me. I knew he might probably come over to London himself since I did not answer his call but I knew my mum would handle it. Instead, I switched off my phone, not turning it back on till I reached New York the next day. 

My car was waiting for me when I landed in cold, gloomy London. Looks like even the heavens above were blue like me. I thanked the driver and got off onto the sidewalk to my apartment. Once I was settled in, I took a hot shower, changing into something more comfy. My housekeeper had left a tupperware of lasagna in the fridge when I told her I was coming. So, I reheated it and ate it, staring out my large window at the Thames and London Eye in the distance. My thoughts go back to when Damien and Jay were here and I think about Damien and I standing together in this exact spot, looking out the window. I remember how worried he was when I disappeared for a early morning run. Smiling to myself, I climb into bed feeling exhausted. If I was going to do what I needed to do tomorrow, I was going to need all the strength I had.

I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed but my stomach was twisting and turning. I showered quickly, dressing in a pair of jeans and sleeveless blouse. It was sunny outside, the total opposite of how I was feeling. Slipping into my trench coat, I grab my bag and head downstairs. I gave my driver the day off so I got into my car and drove to a florist nearby. I bought a bunch of flowers and drove to the cemetery where he was buried. I glance at my watch, I had about an hour before his family got here. I got down from my car, both my shaky hands clutching tightly onto the bouquet. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves, taking small steps in the direction of his tombstone. The last time I was here was 5 years ago but I could still remember where he lay. Soon, his headstone came into view and I smiled at the flowers around it. Kneeling down in front, I placed the bouquet, my fingers brushing across the cold stone that read

Kaiden Robert De Vere

1993-2012

Loving son,brother and friend.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and sit down. Promising myself that this was the last time I would cry for him, I let the tears flow. Choking out a sob, I say

"Hey.'

I spent the hour talking to him, telling him about everything that was going on. I even told him about Damien. Kaiden was my boyfriend but he was my best friend first and that will never change. i apologised over and over again for that night too. I was about to leave, not wanting to bump into his parents when I heard someone say harshly,