Murder Mayhem

Chapter 30*

"Dean, Please!" Cas shouts. Dean blinks awake, the room is pitch black. "Dean help me!" He quickly sits up and turns on the lamp beside the bed then looks at Cas.

He has tears streaming down his face as he twists and turns in his sleep.

"Cas," Dean cups his cheek. "Cas, wake up!" Cas' eyes flutter open, quickly locking onto Dean's. In an instant Cas wraps his arms around Dean,  seeking comfort from him as he cries softly. "Shh,  it's okay baby. It's all over now." Dean speaks softly.

"It won't ever be over for me," Cas whimpers.

The first few days after the incident, Cas wouldn't speak.  The only talking he did was when he had the nightmares. Those are happening every night, though he's talking more now.

Charlie had questioned him, and he told her what Sam said had happened. Dean got the real story later that night though.

The copycat had given Cas a choice,  kill Alfie or he was going to slowly pick off Cas' family. He was given two days to kill him. And in the last possible moment he did it,  just went off on the poor guy.  It had been the very morning of the day Dean had found him. And when he heard Dean getting hurt,  he had a new-found strength and was able to break the padlock using the knife he had. Though it helped that the padlock was kind of older and easier to break.

Dean feels terrible for Cas going through all this. It's his fault, but Cas will deny it when he says it.

Dean lays Cas back down and holds him close.

"Dean..." Cas murmurs.

"Yes,  baby?" Dean asks softly.

"I don't feel any regret for it." Cas says.  This is the first time he's outright said anything about the situation since telling Dean the real story.

"What do you mean?" Dean treads lightly with his words,  afraid he will say something wrong and Cas will clam up again.

"Killing the copycat..." A tear slips down his face. "I don't regret that. It actually felt relieving, he did so much wrong, I just kind of let myself go." He takes a deep breath. "But Alfie didn't deserve it,  he was so young."

"I know, Cas, but if it weren't him,  it would have been Gabriel or Michael or someone else, sometimes we just have to make sacrifices." After Dean says this, Cas falls silent again. Dean thinks he fell back to sleep until he speaks again.

"Are you going to kill again?"

Dean thinks about this. He has no urge to make a kill right now,  though he knows that will change. It could be in days,  or it could be in months,  he has no clue.

"At the moment, no. I have no need for it right now, but eventually I will go out there and kill again." Dean responds. Cas nods and this time he does sleep.

Neither really leave the house much for a couple of weeks. Cas out of fear and Dean because he doesn't want to leave Cas alone. Sam and Gabriel visit maybe two weeks after everything had settled.

Cas and Gabriel sit in the living room, talking quietly. Dean and Sam had gone to the kitchen. It's the furthest Dean has been from Cas the past couple of days,  its good to see he's feeling a bit better.

"You should take him to see a therapist." Sam suggests as he pops open a beer.

"I'm not taking him to see a shrink so he can pay to talk about his feelings." Dean rolls his eyes.

"It might be good for him." Sam shrugs but doesn't press the matter any further.

"He's getting better, Sam." Dean says.  "He wouldn't even talk to me that first day after it. Hell he wouldn't even let me touch him.  This morning we had a normal conversation about pancakes then we made out." Dean chuckles in remembrance. Cas had been hesitant about it,  like it was their first time all over again,  but then it started to get heated and Cas wasn't so hesitant.