You're My Dad?

You Scared Me.

I walked upstairs with my bat up agents my shoulder. The footsteps sounded like they were in Shane and Joey’s room. I walked to there door with the little dog following me and I opened the door slowly and silently. 

A very tired Shane laid on the bed. Then I opened the door all the way and a laughing Joey came out of the bathroom.

Me: Where were you guys! I had to walk home!

Joey: You don’t like your present?

Me: What? She is mine? You almost gave me a heart attack! I thought someone was in the house!

Joey: Well it was just u-

My new dog barking and the front door slamming cut off Joey. I walked to where she was barking. It was my door. I opened the door with Shane and Joey behind me. There was nobody in the room. Shane and Joey ran downstairs making sure nobody was here. While they were gone, I checked to make sure nothing was stolen.

I checked my secret spot and my money was gone!

They stole my money! Err. Shane’s money! 

How can I pay for him now!!! 

I dropped to my knees and started to cry. That is when Shane and Joey ran up asking me what’s wrong. 

I could not tell them because Joey does not know that Shane is sick. 

I just pretended as if I stubbed my toe.

Me: I hit my toe! On the *Sniff* door!

Joey and Shane started laughing. I did a little too knowing that is not what happened but they believed it.

Joey: Is anything missing?

Me: No not that I could see. They must have thought we were too poor to be robbed.

Shane started laughing and they both walked downstairs to look around a little more. Shane came in alone and shut the door,

Shane: I know you are lying Hannah.

Me: How?

Shane: I’m not sure. I just have a feeling. 

Me: Okay fine. I raised money for you, just incase your sickness got really bad. And they stole it.

Shane: Well it’s okay. How much did you have? 20? $30?

Me: A little over a thousand Shane…

Shane’s eyes almost popped out of his head.

Shane: Ho- How did you get that much?

Me: Just walking dogs, lemonade, small stuff like that. It adds up quickly.

Shane just gave me a hug. I needed a hug. After that, I don’t know that to do.

Shane’s life could be at risk and now if there is not enough money to help him, it will be my fault.

Me: It’s all my fault. I am sorry Shane.

Shane: It’s not your fault Hannah. You were only trying to help. It’s all right.

I started crying into Shane’s shoulder and he rubbed my back and kissed my head.

Shane: I promise I will get better. I love you so much. I could never lose you. Just worry about being a kid. I’m not going anywhere.

Me: Promise?

Shane: Forever and always Hannah.

I know he is lying about the forever and always part because he can’t live forever, but I believe him about getting better.

Me: Never leave me. Please Shane. I can’t lose you. You saved me. You taught me that it’s okay… To be myself. You showed me that after everything in the past, the future gets better. You told me to stay strong and I did. I never thought you would become my dad and that just shows that it does get better. That I’m not alone. And that if you give up, you can miss a lot. If I… gave up… I would not be here. Hugging my hero. Thank you Shane. So much. I really do mean everything I say. I also mean it when I say I love you.

Shane hugged me really tight and sniffed. He was starting to tear up.

Shane: I love you Hannah. Forever.

Me: And always. 

I smiled at Shane. And it was not a fake smile. It was a real smile. A smile that meant a lot to me. In addition, meant a lot to Shane.

A smile that lets me know, I am safe here. I am loved here. I am wanted in the world.

*Later*

We were all sitting on the couch watching Pretty Little Liars with my new dog on my lap sleeping.

Me: So what should we name her?

Joey: She is your dog Hannah. Name her whatever you want.

Joey gave me a smile then looked at Shane.

Me: What kind of dog is she?

Joey: A pomsky. A Pomeranian Husky mix.

I think I remember Joey saying he wants one of these dogs.

What should I name her though…? I want it to mean something. Something special. 

Something that is special to my family and me.

I know…