For approximately six years I've been serving the Survey Corps. Few male soldiers compliment my beauty and intelligence however, they back away when discovering one of my substantial flaws as a woman. A secret I can't find myself to reveal to Captai...
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CHAPTER IX | Glass Break
I veer to the forest towering on us. They feel at peace, unbothered by human's problems. My fingers grip on the rifle, my heart in a state of desolation.
How has my feelings gone so far to bow down for Levi's existence? What made me hate him yet feel an attraction so vast, I can't decipher the true cause? I know nothing of Levi but that of his outer layer. The blunt man. The vigilant man. The man so matured, any women will beg for a bite.
I aim the muzzle to the glass of bottles seemingly mocking us with their intact parts. I pull the trigger. The glass screams, dispersing to all directions. Reload. Aim. Pull the trigger.... Bullseye. My heartbeat drums widely. I'm frustrated with titans, war, love, hallucinations.
"Relax, Divergent," Zack prods a strand of hair off my eye. I'm growing insane.
How maddening to feel this way. The only thing I do is feel depressed. Why can't I simply accept the fact that I'm meant to be alone? I pull the trigger once again. Forever. Until I die in the hands of our enemies.
I reload my rifle and instead of positioning myself, I scrutinize the weapon. It's like time itself has halted. Bullets continue to blaze beside me.
It's simple. The muzzle is resting on my forehead. Is this my chosen destiny?
"Don't be foolish, " Zack frowns. He glides in front of me. "Remember I love you." My chest tightens at his fatherly confession. Tears prick in the corners of my eyes. I can't. I can't take this no more.What's the real point in living? There's nothing here that is tying me to anything anyways. No one will remember me at all. I'm just another soldier out here. Another outcast in this cruel world. Another living meat.
I run my fingers on the trigger. It's right in front of me. Here's my solution. I heave a shaky breath.
"Athena." Vague voices swim in the air. I've always hated my name. I'm no goddess of wisdom, fertility, and the useful arts, and prudent warfare.
"Everything will come in place," Zack soothes. I don't feel the motivation to fight.
"Athena." The name sparks violently by every call. A tear slides down my numb cheek.
"Athena!" I grunt when my back quickly befriends a fallen trunk. The rifle slips from my fingers. Who dared impede my peace? The flaming fire boiling inside me explodes. I yank the person holding me, to the trunk. Our positions have reversed. I snatch my rifle and point it to his forehead.
"Athena!" Petra shrieks in horror.
"Athena," a calm voice urges my attention. My eyes widen for a split second before pressing onto him. He's the cause of my broken heart.
His face is neutral as ever. Why are gazing at me that way? Why aren't you glaring at me with distaste and loath? Am I not a dirty piece of trash to you? My aim trembles. If only I could simply end this. If I could only take away his life. If only I had the guts to even express my feelings to him.
The snap of a branch threatens me. Warmth welcomes my legs as I straddle him. Levi's neck arches a bit from the pressure of the muzzle.
"Petra. Step back," Levi orders, and looks at me. "Lower your gun." I feel him gently yank me closer.
"I can't," I shake my head.
"Drop. Your. Weapon," he repeats, clenching my cloak.
"You just don't get it, do you?" I whisper.
"Everyone, straight to Headquarters," Levi says.
"What?" they exclaim.
"Your fellow member is going through another tantrum. She's done this before," He lies. Why are you lying?
Eld intervenes, "But Captain-"
"Leave us!" Levi shouts. After a few seconds they reluctantly leave. Does he really think I won't shoot?
"What's really going on?" he whispers. Our faces are only a breath away. His callused hand slides down my lower back. "What did I do?"
"Why haven't you shoved me away? You're stronger than me."
"Perhaps I could. But I can't take such risk when the rifle is loaded," he utters, his shimmering eyes not faltering. "But if you're curious..." The rifle is out of my fingers before I know it. The warmth of summer prevails the chilly winter as he straddles me on the grass. "...I'm indeed stronger and willing to kill you," he growls.
"I hate you," I brittle. I've no strength to push him away. It's no use to hide the frustration. I rest my head to the side, unwilling to face him.
His breath lingers on my ear, "Liar."
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