The Fat Bitch Diet

Chapter 1 - Scene 1

❶❾❻ Lbs

November 12, 2016

I lifted an oversized bag of brownie mix onto the kitchen counter, huffing and puffing, and not just for show.

I adjusted the camera on my laptop, then paused to caution my loyal viewers, "Always lift with your legs, I once threw out my back lifting a bag of flour."

"For those of you who are new to my channel, my name is Viola Ginamero." I spun around, showing off my five foot four, 193-pound figure. "As you can clearly see, I'll put anything in my mouth."

I tucked my long blonde hair behind my ears and held it in place with a chip clip. "Don't want my co-workers picking hair out of their teeth; they're still mad at me for the food poisoning incident."

"Quick note to my new viewers: this is no ordinary cooking channel. I like to alter my meals in adventurous ways. I'll be honest, some of the meals turn out bad. I mean, last week's chocolate chicken pot pie gave me cramps for days."

My arms shook from the weight of the bag as I poured it into a large ceramic bowl. "Let's go over the ingredients in this mix."

"See these little hard chunks over here? These are pieces of bacon, and if you look closely over here on this side of the bowl you will see a shiny texture. This is bacon fat that I captured in a shot glass this morning."

I tilted the bowl to let light bounce off the chocolate mixture. "You may have also noticed the large white lumps over here. I know what you're thinking: They look like marshmallows. Wrong! These are pieces of chicken breast I cut up last night."

I lowered the bowl and reached for a nearby spatula.

"Oh! I forgot to add something." I ran off camera towards the fridge.

"Here it is... Velveeta cheese!" I couldn't help but smile gleefully. "Ladies, don't you wish your man smelled more like cheese?"

"You know what? Let's get wild, I'm going to mix in the full block."

"As you can see, it's getting a little dense, so I'm going to pour some pancake syrup over the mixture to thin it out a bit."

"So while I stir, I just wanted to remind you all to like, comment, and subscribe below. You can also catch me on Facebook and on Twitter under @ViolaSwallows."

"So... this looks well mixed. Let's grab an 11x7-inch baking pan. Don't worry about the thickness; as the mixture slowly flows into this pan, I will flatten it out with the spatula."

I gracefully inserted the pan into the oven. "Earlier, I preheated the oven to 300 degrees Fahrenheit, so I should be okay to bake these for fifty to fifty-five minutes. Side note: last week I discovered that this oven has a self-cleaning option. I stumbled upon it after I accidently set a lasagna on fire."

"That brings us to the end of this video. As always, I will post a follow-up video with my review of the brownies later tonight. Till next time... I'm Viola Ginamero, and this is #ViolaSwallows."

I felt great. Full of energy and eager to upload the video right away. It was exciting to think of how quickly a year had passed since I posted my first video, and now I was uploading video #29. Interesting fact: If you were to sort the videos by date you could really see how much weight I gained in a year.

I wasn't always this heavy; as a pre-teen I was really petite, it was a few years later that an event triggered my weight gain.

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