The Fat Bitch Diet

Chapter 9 - Scene 3

With five minutes to spare, I slipped out of my sweaty clothes and waddled over to Shaniqua at The Protein Hut with every ounce of energy I had.

Shaniqua plugged her nose. "Damn, girl, you stank. Are you using hairspray as deodorant again? I told you that shit don't work."

"How bad is it?" I asked. "Never mind, I'll just spray myself down with perfume."

"So, how was it?" Shaniqua asked, wiping down the stained countertop.

"I didn't pass out, Barbara-Anne didn't have a heart attack, and Vik didn't get injured, so that's progress, right?"

Shaniqua rolled her eyes.

"Oh! I forgot to ask. How was the burger?"

She inhaled deeply and sighed. "Let's just say when you left the table yesterday we all made a pact to follow Christos's meal guide."

"Shan!" I shouted cheerfully. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around her large bosom and jump up and down like I was a nine-year-old on Christmas Day.

"Girl, you gotta calm down." Shaniqua slipped out of my grip and took a step back.

"This is huge! If we can stay consistent and motivated, we will be the sexiest women catwalking down the aisles of Walmart, and best of all, I won't have to stuff my bra with water balloons for attention anymore! So what did you pack for lunch? Wait! Don't tell me yet. Wanna see what I brought?"

"You got a customer, Viola," Shaniqua said, walking towards the small office.

I turned around to greet a tall red-headed woman who looked like she'd just walked off of a Maxim photoshoot.

"Wow! You're so pretty. I bet you have a lot of Instagram followers."

She smiled uncomfortably, then looked away and replied in a stuck-up tone. "Kale smoothie, please."

"Sure, coming right up," I said, suddenly realizing we didn't have any kale. Leaning away from the cashier, I looked towards Shaniqua and yelled, "Hey, Shan, I think we need to restock!"

Shaniqua leaped off her chair. "Oh shit, I totally forgot. I was late thanks to my meal prep."

I looked at the woman and said, "Sorry, it will be just a moment."

She rolled her eyes behind her long, perfectly lifted eyelashes. "Whatever, just hurry." By the tone of her voice and gestures, I couldn't help but feel like she was judging us.

"So, Shan, wanna know what I brought?"

Shaniqua handed me a bunch of kale. "You seem to really want to tell me, so just tell me."

"Go have a look in my purse. You might have to dig deep, though."

"No way! The last time I put my hand in your purse it came out sticky."

"That wasn't my fault. When Franklin first inserted it, it was hard as a rock. Who knew it was going to start discharging everywhere uncontrollably?"

The red-haired woman took a step back and gasped. "Eww! What is wrong with you?"

I leaned over the counter. "Relax, it was a jelly donut."

Just as Shaniqua replenished the vegetables, the woman rudely walked away in a huff.

I turned around, biting my chapped lips. "I don't think she wants her kale smoothie anymore."

"Fine, whatever," Shaniqua said without a hint of anger.

"Are you okay? Normally you would have threatened to shove that woman's hair into the garbage disposal."

"I'm fine, Viola. Just let it go."

I'd known Shaniqua long enough to know that she was hiding something. The last few days she was quieter, distant, and calmer than usual. These were all indications that something was on her mind, but what?

Before I could investigate further, my cell phone vibrated. It was a cryptic text message from Christos:

5th stage, same place, same time.

I turned to Shaniqua with a confused look on my face. "I just got a text from Christos."

"I just got the same message. Didn't he say he was out?"

Feeling a bit of relief, I said, "Guess not."

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