The rest of the week in the Western Kingdom was even more stressful than I thought it would be. Raidyn and I barely saw each other and when we did it wasn't that pleasant.
We packed early the morning so we could head to the Southern and be back before sunset.
The entire kingdom welcomed us back home but all I could think about was actually being back in my chambers and sleeping off this terrible exhaustion.
Already my schedule was filled with meetings and greetings and I was far from the mood. I look at the list of things I need to do.
I look at Raidyn who is silently unpacking our bags. "I don't want to go to any of these tomorrow."
"Don't. I told you that when you're pregnant you can do as you wish."
"But you're mad at me." I pick at my fingernails.
"I'm not. You were the one mad at me."
"You won't even look at me. You're mad."
"I am not mad at all. I can't look at you because I have to keep my distance and if I look I will not be able to. This is what you agreed to."
"I know," I sink back in the pillows on the bed. "But I can't stand the tension between us any longer."
"Well, that is too bad, my queen. You are truly not happy with me still and I can't argue with you and cause the stress. This is the way it has to be."
"It's doesn't have to be this way." I repeat something we had once said it to each other before. "But I guess you're right." I turn over.
"I wish that it didn't, but you have yet to say otherwise."
"I don't know what to say," I shrug my shoulders. "But, I want to be with you. You make me happy, but not when you aren't happy and I know you're still" pissed about Bren."
"You should be fine with me being mad at Bren. He does not involve the two of us, you are the one who continually places him there and you wonder why I worry."
"Now I remember why we aren't talking."
"Thank you my queen for always reassuring me." He mocks.
I roll my eyes and rub my forehead annoyed. "This is getting old."
"You know what's old? My wife keeping distance from me because every time we are together we argue because she is unable to be with me because I'm mad at a prince who fancies her."
"I'm not mad at you!" I shout. "I don't care how you act toward Bren."
"Then love me. End this madness. I miss you." Raidyn finally looks at me.
"I miss you too," I give him an upset glare.
"Please. End this."
"You stress me out," I frown at him. "I want to but..."
"This marriage is a nightmare." Raidyn sighs. "Do you think this was a mistake?"
I look at him blankly. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that this is not what I ever wanted. This is not how things were ever supposed to be between us. Byrd, I love you, but we are letting Bren come between us. I can't stand for this. I can't have a marriage so weak and feeble, so easily divided. We are rulers of my kingdom. We need to be stronger than this."
I crawl out of bed standing up to face him. "This isn't because of Bren. This is because of the baby and I want it to be healthy, just like you do. You knew we were taking a risk with the dependency and the healers aren't giving me any good news. I-I'm scared, and that's why I'm pushing you away." My voice trembles.
