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"Forever's a pretty long time. Maybe longer than you think"

- Jess Rothenberg, The Catastrophic History of You and Me

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The Monday of the third week after Camila died was the funeral. It started how it could be expected. Everyone attending woke up and dressed themselves in black. Their faces sported an equally sombre expression. No words were exchanged over the Hamilton's breakfast, all were too busy comprehending the day's events.

Later that day they would watch their next door neighbour be lowered into the ground. They couldn't imagine the grief the family would feel watching their eldest daughter be buried before them. They didn't want to imagine.

Normani held the letter tight with the program. She started down at it. Pictured in the front under the neat cursive font was a smiling Camila. Normani recognised the picture from their first day of senior year. She couldn't believe the change between then and now. Not even a full year. On the back was another image of Camila, this time from when she had her first day of work. The job was at the library but that didn't last long. Camila was shortly let go for constantly reading on the job. Her love for literature, the love that landed her the job, was the same love that got her fired.

The Hamilton's walked shoulder to shoulder to the grave. They greeted the Cabellos how it could be expected. Then they turned their attention to the newly dug hole in the ground, she lowered their heads offering a prayer before laying a bouquet of flowers by the side. As her parents walked off to the side to allow others to pay their respects Normani turned back to Camila's parents.

"Mr and Mrs Cabello, I have something I would like to give to you"

The Cabello's looked at the young girl and nodded and accepted the envelope. "What is this?"

Normani could no longer avoid the eye contact. "It's an explanation, read it and you'll find your answers"

For the rest of the funeral, Normani kept her head down and let the tears roll. She helped do this and she might never let herself live it down. If she had just been the best friend to Camila that everyone thought she was this might never have happened.

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Mr and Mrs Cabello,

I was Camila's best friend. I wasn't a perfect person and I'll never let myself live that fact down. I wasn't there for Mila when it counted and I'm writing this as a way to apologise. This doesn't fix what I did, this can't bring her back but you deserve to know. Two days after Mila died I received a letter, all of us did. The letter told me what had happened to her, what people had done and the effects of those actions. It wasn't easy to read and it wasn't intended to be either. So I warn you this isn't a light read, it's heavy and hard hitting. But it is Mila, her explanation, and I believe as her parents you should get closure.

Let me start with a girl named Ally. Smart and pretty, she had everyone fooled that she was an innocent kind soul. And I guess at first she was. She helped Mila with school work, have her a friend to turn to when I deserted her. However, she used this as leverage in the grand scheme of things. When word got around school that Mila was getting close with Ally's boyfriend Troy, she flipped. A complete 180 of the Ally she knew. She spread a rumour that Mila liked girls, a rumour which manifested and stuck. People talk, whispers could be heard and the things people muttered were repulsive. Afterwards, Ally used her pretty face to talk her and other's ways out of punishments. She looked out for onlookers when her group beat your daughter. Mila hated that she trusted Ally, it broke her heart and spirit.

Next is Dinah. You will have heard her name, she was the one arrested. Busted for sending your daughter death threats and selling drugs. The only one in the group with a good heart. Ironically the one to get the worst punishment. It was her that got the case taken to court. It was her information that was used. You see her family are barely getting by. She was selling the drugs to help pay for bills. She was blackmailed by her supposed friend with to send the death threats. If she didn't send them Lauren would have made sure she was locked away for a long time for selling drugs. However her good heart had a moment of weakness, she was almost kicked out of the group so she started a rumour to put her back in the good books. She said your daughter liked to watch girls, especially me, get changed for gym. Girls refused to let her into the changing rooms. They tripped her up at lunch. They even slipped pictures of naked women into lockers with degrading words written on it.

Thirdly is Lauren. The ring leader. She blackmailed Dinah but also your daughter. She had leverage, she had her journal. She threatened to spread its contents around the school. Mila never did find out why she did what she did, and nor did anyone. In the end, Lauren went through with spreading the journal around anyway. The journal confirmed the rumours. Camila did like girls, and liked me. The school mocked her and I was too scared to say anything. I let Mila believe I hated her because of it but in reality, I loved her, just not the way she wanted. I loved her as a best friend.

Which brings it back to me. There were others mentioned in her letter to me. Jocks who made comments and other music students who shunned her for who she was. I'm sure there are others not mentioned as well. But the four people mentioned had the largest impact on her. I'm number four. I traded our friendship in for popularity. I befriended the people who made her life miserable. I became one of those people. I'm sorry for what I did. I didn't care enough, didn't show how much I loved her, I let people hurt her. I witnessed a few beatings but I didn't stop them. I didn't tell anyone. I was too much of a coward to reach out. I hate that Mila last thoughts of me were as someone who caused pain, someone who hated her and someone who wouldn't miss her. I miss her so so much. We had a plan, to graduate together and to go the same university. She would be an English major with a minor in Music. I would be a Dance major. She would teach me Spanish in return for me helping her to become more social. Now that won't happen because of me. I cost Mila her life because I was afraid to be unpopular.

I don't know if you will forgive me and honestly, I won't blame you. I don't forgive me. But now you have your reason, the answers you sought for two weeks. I wish you and your family the best and you're in my family and I's thoughts.

Yours Truly,
Normani

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A/N: That's the end. I'm planning on posting another chapter with a longer authors note sometime in the future. If you have questions I will answer them in that chapter.

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