Unlovable love (phan)

NEW JOB BUT MORE SECRETS

Phil's POV
Dan told me everything about his anxiety and how he cant be in large places without feeling like he's gunna have a panic attack. And that he doesn't want to drink or eat because he he'll get fat. I tried to tell him that he won't but he keeps on saying he's only saying that because I pity him and that if he gets far I'll leave him. I'll never leave him if he gets fat and to be fair it looks like he needs a bit of meat on him HES SO SKINNY!! I feel like after all the mental and physical abuse of his ex, the things that he got told of him are the things that Dan's thinking now.

I feel so bad for him because he has so much stuff going on his life! How does he deal with it all?!

I looked back at Dan who is crying in my arms and see his tears aren't clear...there like skin coloured? Is he wearing foundation? "Umm..Dan? Are you wearing foundation? Sorry if I offended you it's just that your tears are skin coloured!" I said panicking in case I offended him. Then he looks at me then looks down and says "Yh I used to have to wear make up to cover my bruises that Toms put made on me, but now I choose to because I don't want anyone seeing them."

I asked Dan if I can see his bruises and at first he hesitated but eventually he caved in and he said yes. Right now I'm sat on my couch waiting for Dan to come in without make up on. Then all of a sudden I hear the door open and I sit up. Then I see Dan walk in....OH MY GOD THERE ARE SO MANY GREY AND RED AND BLUE PARTS ALL OVER HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE!!! WHO COULD DO SUCH A THING!! I just stood there in shock. Then Dan spoke looking down" is it that bad ?" " no no no it's not that bad you still look as beautiful as ever." I lied. I don't want to bring his confidence down. He smiled at sat next to me.

"So do you wanna try to find a job for you then?"I said trying to change the subject because Dan seemed really uncomfortable. He nodded and I got my laptop. We found a really good job as a call centre person. He applied for it and he looked so happy. " why do you look so happy?" He smiled even more and turned to me and said " Because for once in my life I feel like my life is moving forward". I smiled and hugged him and for the first time ever he hugged me back.

The night came and it was getting late so we decided that we should go bed. "Dan? Do you want to umm... sleep in my bed tonight? Just so you have a nightmare again I'll be there to comfort you and make you feel safe and what not." I said scratching the back of my neck. I want him to feel safe and everything but most importantly it was because I loved it when he came to my bed last night and I want that feeling of someone being there again. " Umm sure I guess that'll be okay". Dan said smiling.

So we went to be and he got changed. But when he took his top of I had a glance at him and he had so many bruises and burned on his body but most importantly he had cuts but not just a few cuts loads of cuts ....on his wrists. So he wasn't only getting hurt by someone else he was also hurting him self and the cuts look pretty fresh to me. I think that's why he always wears long tops? Do I ask him? What do I say? "Dan? What are those on your wrists?" Wow well done Phil! Obviously he knows what they are! Then I saw Dan freeze....