It's Complicated ✹ Shyland

Four

Shane's POV

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked him as he stood in what appeared to be extreme fear. "Ry?"

"You're catching me at.. at a really bad time..." He sat down. "Joslyn never said you felt that strongly.... She just said you had feelings for me. Everyone at work assumed..... but I thought.... I thought maybe you'd lose those feelings... after what I did.."

"That's the thing.." I said. "I never told her I was in love with you... I told her.... that Lisa is trying to get to me..."

"Get to you... how?" He asked. "The text thing?" I nodded. "Shane, I-"

"She doesn't love you...." I said, interrupting him. Ryland sat with a look on his face that allowed the red in his cheeks to pop drastically. "She doesn't love you.... like I love you...." There was dead silence between us until Ryland spoke again.

    "Why did you do this?" He asked in a whispered tone. "How..." I turned my arms over to expose the bloodstained gashes and swollen skin where I had stitches.

    "It wasn't a shard of glass like the news said...... it was a knife..." I said. "I drank... I must've dropped the bottle in my blood as I.... cut.... I'm so alone, Ryland..."

    "I'm here for you.." He said, taking my hand again. "We're friends... We always have been..." I smiled softly, seeing the guilt in his eyes and tears rolling down his cheeks. The door opened moments later, and Ryland quickly pulled his hand away, wiping his tears. "Hey baby..."

    "Everything okay?" Lisa asked. "You've been in here for a while..."

    "We had a lot to catch up on.." I said.

    "Well, Ry.... Do you mind if I talk to Shane?" Lisa asked, wrapping her arms around my neck.

    "Is that okay with you?" He asked me.

    "Sure.." I said.

~

     Lisa sat on my hospital bed, smiling as Ryland walked out, but turned to me when he was out of sight. "Hey.." She said.

    "What are you doing here?" I asked. "I thought you wanted Ryland as far away from me as possible..."

    "He's my fiancé now, Shaney.."

    "Don't call me that.." I scoffed. "I'm not your boyfriend, nor will I ever be."

    "Let me just make one thing clear, okay?" She got into my face. "Ryland is mine.... and I'm not letting some faggot take him away. He's straight... and so am I..." Lisa kissed me, holding my hand to her boob, but Ryland opened the door again and she smacked me across the jaw. "Ew! Shane, I'm engaged!"

    "Shane?" Ryland said. "I thought maybe after we made up, you'd stop..."

    "She kissed me! I didn't lay a hand on her!" I said.

    "Right..." Ryland said. "Sure.. Sure because that was someone else's hand on her breast.."

    "Ryland... Please believe me..." I started to cry.

    "I thought you finally changed..." He said, taking his coat and Lisa's hand. "I guess I was wrong.."

    "Ryland!" I screamed, tears pouring down my cheeks. A nurse came in, asking if I was in pain. "Only in heartbreak..." I covered my eyes.

~

     I was released from the hospital the following day to my mom, and she stayed at my house with me until she was certain I wouldn't try to kill myself again.

    "Joslyn is going to stop by after work to see me.." I said. "I'll be fine.."

    "Shane, you know this scared me..." Mom said. "I know you're old enough to live on your own, but when something like this happens..... I.... I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't lived... I wish I was a better mom...."

    "I'm sorry, Mom..." I said, giving her a hug. "Please don't blame yourself..."

    "Hey.." Joslyn opened the door. "Hey Mz Yaw.."

    "Hi Joslyn..." My mom wiped her eyes. "Are you sure you're going to be okay now?" She asked me.

    "I am.." I said.

    "I'll take good care of him.." Joslyn smiled, giving her a hug. After my mom left, we ate, and Joslyn did the dishes for me while I laid down in the living room. "So how are you? Truly.... Not in the depression sort of way.."

    "Heartbroken.." I said. "You know how Ryland visited me in the hospital?" She nodded. "He brought Lisa. Lisa walked in while we were having a nice moment, reconnecting.... and she asked to speak with me alone for a few minutes. Ryland let her, and she kissed me.... She kissed me, and placed my hand on her boob, and Ryland walked in right as she was about to pull away and smack me...."

    "Lisa will just never stop, will she?" Joslyn rolled her eyes. "What all did Ry say to you?"

    "Not much.... but I..." I hesitated. "I told him I love him...." My friend's eyes widened. "I know..... Only days after he proposes to his girlfriend, I tell him I'm in love with him... I'm the best on timing..."

"No matter what he says about his sexuality..." She said. "He's lying... I've known Ryland since we were kids. We met in grade school, and all of the kids would pick on him because he only had friends who were girls. By junior high, he had one girlfriend... and he never kissed her, held her hand, he hardly ever spoke to her. Ryland met you shortly after they broke up.."

    "What about it? None of that says he's gay..." I said.

    "He looks at you with a light in his eyes..." Joslyn smiled. "Ever since he met you, I had never seen him any happier around anyone else. Ryland is in love with you...." I sighed. "He just doesn't want to admit it. He's scared... You were scared when you came out, weren't you?"

    "Terrified.." I said.

    "Exactly.." She said. "Ryland has never been scared to do something until he met you... and realized he's in love with you."

    "If he's so in love with me...." I said. "Then why is he still with her?"

    "He was bullied growing up.... remember?" Joslyn asked. "For only having girls as friends... and the only guy he had as a friend was the big kid in school.... the one everyone picked on as well...."

    "I guess that makes sense..." I said. "I wish he'd just believe me... believe Lisa isn't right for him.... and that he'd leave her.... I'm getting tired of fighting.." I wiped the tears from my face.