It's Complicated ✹ Shyland

Nine

Shane's POV

    "Surely that's not the only reason..." Joslyn said.

    "I asked him... and he said that was the only way he could make her happier.." I said. "There's not much time until the wedding.... and I can't just tell him I'm still in love with him...."

"Why not? I know he's with her... but he clearly loves you..."

"He loves her.." I said.

"Okay, explain what happened the last time you were alone together... The kiss.." Joslyn said.

"I'd rather not.." I sighed. "I'll just start crying..." She stared into my eyes. "Jos, stop..."

"Shane, just talk... okay?"

"Fine.." I said. "I took him to work, and we surprised him for his birthday.... After the party, I took him home... And I didn't want to say goodbye that quickly.." I tried not to tear up. "I told him I was confused about where my relationship with Lily was going.... and he was so sweet.. I started crying... and... I apologized for putting all of the stress on him... since we weren't as close as we were as kids.." I hesitated. "He laid his hand on mine... which my hands were on my lap... and said he still cares.."

"See?" Joslyn asked. "He does still care.."

"Not love.." I said. "I told him it was okay when he pulled his hand away and apologized for it.. There was some silence... and I got out of my car to help him out. I helped him up, but I.... I kind of dropped him into his wheelchair.. I wasn't myself anymore. I would've never done it if I was myself...."

"You kissed him..."

"He was in the wheelchair..." I sighed. "And I was only inches from kissing him. He was into it... I think... and when I kissed him... He pushed me away after a few seconds, and Lisa was behind me.." I was in tears. "She started screaming at me... then at Ryland... Ryland kept trying to protect me... to stop her.. but she smacked me, and I fell. I fell into the road after she pushed me. I fell on my arm, and my foot broke as I fell... cause it hit the concrete... and she took Ryland inside."

"Just tell him.." Joslyn said after a few minutes of hugging me as I cried. "He called you afterwards, right?" I murmured yes. "What did he say?"

"He said he was sorry that happened.." I said. "I told him that next time, it won't be me getting hurt..."

~

     I went home after hanging out with Joslyn, and what she said really hit me. But if it was that easy, Ryland wouldn't have been with her. He would've broken up with her after I told him who she really was, and I would've had him in my arms. I would've been able to wake up each morning to see the man I love laying next to me, sleeping soundly. I'd bring him breakfast in bed, and kiss him awake so we could eat together. We'd have a beautiful life together, maybe with a few pets, and later on in life... get married....adopt kids. But it's not how i wished it'd be.

Ryland.... why can't you see that I'm the one your heart wants?

I'm the one who truly loves you.

I'm the one you want to spend your life with...

To fall in love with more and more each day...

Ryland... I can't live without you.

I laid awake that night, contemplating the possible ways I could tell him the truth.... that I was still madly in love with him, and I was never going to get over the feeling I got when I look into his eyes... the smile he has when he sees me.

Ryland, I know it's late..
But this is urgent.

Ry: What?

Ryland, I know you're engaged. I don't care.

Ry: where are you getting it?

I'm still in love with you. Lily left me because I'm still in love with you.

Ry: Shane..

I just needed you to know that.

Ry: Shane, this is Lisa. You really don't pay attention to the way Ry texts, do you?

Damn it.

Ry: Oh Shane... I thought you were finally going to realize, but I guess I have to show you again. He's not into you!

Lisa, don't hurt him. You've done enough.

Ry: How does he even know you're in love with him? He's so blind to others.. He's so fond of me.

Lisa, I swear to God..

Ry: I know you showed him the texts from before. I know you told him the things I said. Remember what I told you last time? You don't want me to show him any of the.. pictures.. Do you? ;)

Lisa..

Ry: Bye Shane ;*

I knew that as soon as she mentioned pictures, I was royally fucked. What no one knew about me was going to eventually surface, but I couldn't get to Ryland first and tell him myself. Not even my closest friends knew. Lisa wanted to be with me ever since I broke up with her before she met Ryland. Back in school, Lisa and I were best friends, but she never met Ryland until 2009. I knew as soon as Ryland would find out I knew Lisa, things would change, so I never told him.

~

28 days until Ryland's wedding

If no one objects to this marriage..

I object!

Shane?
Ryland, you can't marry her.

As if I'm going to listen to you.

Ry, please.

Only my friends call me Ry. If you can't stand there and watch me marry the love of my life, you can just leave.

I now pronounce you... Husband and wife.. You may kiss the bride.

I woke up in tears, screaming no, then heard knocking at the door.

"Shane?" Joslyn called. "Wake up!" I rolled out of bed, and answered the door. "Good.. You're awake.."

"I had a nightmare.." I said. "What do you want?"

"What happened to you last night? I tried texting you, and you didn't answer... So I called you.." She pestered me.

"I was just following your advice.." I groaned. "I texted him.... and Lisa answered.."