I read the news articles, one by one, in complete and utter shock.
Not only has the public found out that Wakaba and I aren't really dating.
Not only has the public found out that I'm bisexual.
But the public has also found out that I'm in love with Shoma.
The entirety of Team Japan was completely speechless. No one could understand that I'd really been feeling this way, for Shoma, for this amount of time.
The headlines, all homophobic, deeply offending slurs, cause tears to prick in my eyes. It wasn't even me who found all this out originally. Wakaba texted me, linking me to my twitter, and I saw my name trending. I didn't even know why until I clicked on it... and here I am, hours later, still crying over it.
I can't believe it. I can't believe she'd betray me like this.
Wakaba was immensely apologetic, blaming herself that because she couldn't spare thirty minutes to talk to me, our secret has been exposed to the world. Shoma's upset because he feels like a terrible friend for not reading the signs and letting me down gently earlier, so that I didn't have to admit it to a stranger in the first place. But it's not their fault, and they should know it.
It's no one's fault but hers.
I'm not being irrational when I blame her. It's not like I'm accusing her when there are many people who could've leaked the information. The only people who knew Wakaba wasn't really my girlfriend were me, Wakaba and her. Even if it wasn't her personally who leaked the information, it was someone who she obviously told.
Direct Message to @brogan_holister
@so_ta0110: I can't believe you, Brogan.
@so_ta0110: I trusted you.
@so_ta0110: I thought you were loyal, trustworthy, a decent person.
@so_ta0110: But I was wrong.
@so_ta0110: I will never forgive you for this.
@so_ta0110: Don't you dare come to any of my competitions ever again.
@so_ta0110: If I see you there, I will get security to kick you out.
@so_ta0110: I'm glad you told me that you had school so you didn't come to China. Because I would've done something that I will now be regretting.
@so_ta0110: I'm so full of vexation.
@so_ta0110: All because of you.
@so_ta0110: Goodbye. I hope you're happy.
I look away from my phone screen, tears welling up in my eyes. By the time I've got my emotions under control, she's replied.
Direct Message to @brogan_holister
@brogan_holister: it's not like that.
@brogan_holister: i promise.
@brogan_holister: i know you're there. i can see the 'read' on my phone.
@brogan_holister: just listen to me, sota.
@brogan_holister: let me explain.
@brogan_holister: it wasn't my fault.
@so_ta0110: if it wasn't your fault, then who the fuck's fault is it? stop lying. i'm sick of it. i'm sick of you. already. i thought you were going to bring happiness into my life. but all you care about is yourself, and bragging to the media about all the things you've talked to me about.
Are you sure you want to block @brogan_holister?
Yes.
I cry again, letting all my emotions pour out.
I can't believe I trusted her.
It's just the same old story. I trust someone, and no matter what, they always end up fucking me over.
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Direct Message to @OneFlutzAway
@OneFlutzAway: Hello, Sota. My name is Alexandra, or Lexi. You've probably heard of me before, from Brogan.
My heart skips a beat in anger. Not only has Brogan betrayed me, but she's also got her best friend on the case? Talk about bias.
Direct Message to @OneFlutzAway
@so_ta0110: what could you possibly have to say that I'd want to hear?
@OneFlutzAway: I know I'm the last person, with the possible exception of Brogan, that you'd want to hear from right now, but I need you to just listen to me.
@so_ta0110: go on then.
@OneFlutzAway: it's not brogan's fault.
@so_ta0110: *to audience* she finally says it.
@OneFlutzAway: sota, this is serious!
@so_ta0110: oh, honey, i know it's serious. there is media literally camped outside my house right now. and it's your snivelling best friend's fault. i must say thank you for doing the world a favour and being her friend, because no one else would with how untrustworthy she is.
@OneFlutzAway: it's not like that, sota. and i'm so sorry to hear about the media.
@so_ta0110: what do you want, again?
@OneFlutzAway: i need you to message brogan please.
@so_ta0110: i'm never speaking to that bitch again.
@OneFlutzAway: please, sota. you're being irrational. just let her explain. you have no idea what's really going on. please, for me, just listen to her.
@so_ta0110: fine.
@OneFlutzAway: thank you a million times.
@so_ta0110: but if she makes up some random shit, both her and you are going to be reported to the police.
@OneFlutzAway: consider it done.
Logging off from my chat with Alexandra, I'm overcome with an overwhelming sense of nerves.
Are you sure you want to unblock @brogan_holister?
Yes.
This next conversation could make or break my entire life.
Direct Message to @brogan_holister
@so_ta0110: i'm giving you one chance to explain. i want nothing but the truth. the floor is yours.
@brogan_holister: i swear, on my love for you, that this is the complete and utter truth. you can google it if you don't believe me. just please, hear me out.
