The house was quiet when I woke up the following morning. I glanced up at the clock and was surprised, it was almost noon. I shuffled lazily to the bathroom, wondering where Chris was.
Now that the alcohol did no longer clog my mind, my apprehension and insecurity had resurfaced. What if he had indeed gone to the party? Had he regretted staying home with me instead of going? Where was he anyways? Maybe downstairs, although I couldn’t hear any noise.
Relax. Don’t get paranoid.
After a much needed shower, I went down to the kitchen, I was famished. I hoped we still had some edible food around. The first thing I noticed when I walked in was the message on the white board. I smiled at the little smiley face Chris had doodled on the corner.
“Jonny boy: it’s 10am and you’re sleeping like a baby, didn’t want to wake you. I’m going out to run some errands and then I’ll meet Jay-Z at the Bakery. See you in the afternoon. XO Chris”
I read the note written in his distinctive spiky handwriting with a big sense of relief. So he was going to be at the Bakery, good. No mention of Rihanna, even better. My stomach grumbled and I looked around in search of something to have for breakfast; there were a mug and a bowl in the sink.
“Ah, Chris, you messy bloke,” I sighed and set about to prepare something for myself. At least he now remembered to put them in the sink.
As I waited for the toast to be ready, I thought about watching yesterday’s footage, should I watch it? What if it was similar to what happened in Paris? Hands touching, faces rubbing together, mouths inches apart? Should I really torture myself like that? The desire to know was stronger. Everybody had seen it already, but me. I would not be able to take it if they had been as close as in Paris again. I knew that for sure. Besides, it was my birthday tomorrow, we had a meeting with the guys and our team in the morning, my parents would come to visit, it would be horrible if I spent my own birthday brooding or sick. I should better wait, I promised myself I would watch it, but after my birthday. In the meantime, I would try to forget it.
I had gone out to lunch with my brother and then had visited a bookshop to get some reading material for the following months. I had had a quiet day really, I'd tried to stay away from computers and electronic devices since my urge to know what had happened between them on stage was too great. However, it wasn’t an easy task, particularly since I had caught a bit of a commentary on a TV show where the girl qualified Rihanna’s collaboration in our set as sexy and said she and Chris had an explosive chemistry on stage. I wondered what she had meant, I was about to break my promise to myself and go and search for the video already, but I restrained. I went running instead, fresh air would do me good and calm me down.
I did not see Chris until it was almost evening; he had come home from the studios in a great mood and invited me out to a nearby restaurant for dinner. I was delighted. He told me over some delicious risotto that Jay-Z and him had been working on one of the rapper’s songs and that he had asked for his insight and advice. Chris was elated, that a person he admired so much asked for his help was incredible. I could not help being proud of him, he deserved it. He truly did.
We finished our evening at home; Chris and I got our guitars and improvised an acoustic set in our living room, he brimmed with energy and enthusiasm, it was highly contagious and my spirits lifted.
“Come on Jay,” he encouraged me while my fingers elicited notes from my guitar that matched his. I smiled, concentrated and carried on. We had been done playing favourite songs and were just improvising now. I looked up from my hands searching his eyes, he locked his beautiful blue eyes with mine and we smiled at each other. Music connected us, enveloped us, we had initially bonded this way and I never felt closer to him than when the two of us sat together, letting our souls speak through the music we created. Well, there was another, even more intimate moment when I felt just as close, but this one now was amazing. I intuitively followed the song and we both brought it to a gentle, lullaby-like stop at the same time.
