“Yeah?” I said, my voice hoarse, for my throat felt dry and stiff. I didn’t think he noticed.
“Yes, we exchanged some texts last night and I mentioned I’d be going on this trip and she was crazy about it, thought it was a fabulous idea,” he explained while he searched for a bottle of water in his bag.
I bet she did.
I was immobile. I felt like a downright fool. Here I had been, thinking of him and he had spent the whole afternoon with his crush? Heat rushed to my face, my cheeks were burning.
Chris took a sip and played with the bottle while he continued, ”asked me if I knew if there were any available places and I did not know, so I told her to contact the company and gave her their number,” he said.
“Why did you invite her?” I asked.
“I didn’t actually invite her, but she was so eager to come, you should have seen her there, she braved the waves like a pro,” he said, his eyes gleaming.
Ugh
“So what have you been up to, Jay? What did you do all day?” he asked.
I did not answer at first, I could not answer. Not without my voice breaking like a complete and weak fool. There were so many emotions running inside of me, anger, misery, insecurity, disbelief. I felt cursed.
“Eh? What did you do?” he repeated, this time looking at me, realising for the first time something was amiss.
“Nothing,” I curtly said, eyes focused on the ocean ahead.
He laughed, “Nothing? Come on Jay! You must have….”
“I didn’t do anything important,” I interrupted, my voice low.
He sensed the change in mood,” What’s wrong?”
There were so many things that were wrong. Me for a start. I had been in such good spirits just a moment ago and now anxiety had returned, insecurity had returned, I felt incapable, I had not been able to prevent it. I had not seen it coming.
“Jay?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I demanded in a hushed mutter.
“Tell you what?”
“That you went with Rihanna,” I answered, my eyes fixed on a seagull flying just above the water surface.
“I’m telling you!” he said lightly, with a hint of amusement as if this was of no importance, “I did not know she would come until after we got there,” he added casually as it was just a detail. Turned out it wasn’t just an insignificant detail. He had spent a whole afternoon at the beach with a woman he had a massive crush on, on our holidays. The ones we had taken to strengthen our marriage. I turned to face him.
“These are our holidays, it should have been me with you, not her!” I said, firmily but without raising my voice.
He looked taken aback, “But you did not want to come! You don’t like surfing, you’re afraid of getting deep into the Ocean!”
“I’m not afraid!” I indignantly exclaimed. Well, maybe I was a little, but what did that have to do with anything?
“Jonny,...”, he looked at me with a knowing expression.
“It should have been me,” I sulked staring down at my hands.
“I asked you to come more than once and you did not want to!” he defended himself.
