My Freshmen Year and Its Secrets

Chapter 5: The Death

A few days after the movies, about a week to be exact, something bad happened... as in, changed everything kind of bad. Angela died. She was a senior last year. Pretty, smart, popular, and a cheerleader. I remember her vaguely... She was always smiling during practice. (I was a cheerleader in middle school with Anna). Angela helped me a lot with my back walk over, even though my doctor told me that I had no back flexibility. She even bought me ice cream at the mall once..

I've been around death before. My great great grandma died about 4 years ago, and my cousin last year, so it's not like this is completely new to me. But it kind of was different. She was so young... She could have grown up, finished college, have kids, but she didn't. She couldn't.

I felt sick knowing that she was dead, while I was here on earth, worrying about my hair or thinking about Lyle. What if she had a boyfriend who was planning on proposing?

I felt like I was doing something wrong...

BTW, my friends took the whole Lyle thing badly. They said that he was bad, he cursed too much and that he didn't deserve me. Even people I didn't talk to ever walked up to me and told me that we weren't right together. Angela's death made me crack a bit. I knew that I was going to break up with him soon.

Adam said he would help and even deliver the news himself, if that's what I wanted, but I told him no. I had to do this myself.

When I told my friends, they seemed happy. Anna was practically jumping up and down in her seat. Ryanne said it was probably for the best and Kimberly just nodded. I smiled, hiding my true feelings deep down in my heart. I couldn't believe they hated him so much... maybe it's good that I'm breaking up with him...

If it's so good, why does it hurt so much?

I rolled over and punched my pillow, trying to get comfortable. I looked at the time. 9pm. I had tried to go to bed early, but I couldn't sleep at all. I grabbed my phone and called Lyle. He answered right away, like always. Then... I did it. I could barely force the words out if my mouth. I could feel my heart begging me to not say a word. Oh gosh. His voice... it rings in my ear to this day, months later. He was really upset. Hurt. I wanted to cry. The disappointment in his voice was as plain as day.

He stuttered slightly, "W-Why?"

I didn't even know why myself. I definitely couldn't say 'because my friends told me it was a good idea'. So, I told him that I just needed some time alone. He apologized and said goodbye. The sadness in his voice... I sighed.

I didn't sleep that night. My mind was stuck on the boy whose voice sounded like I stabbed him in the heart.