Losing Time

Fire

I'm sorry too. Because what I wanted was to fall for someone who fights and each time is about to give up, thinks about why he held on that long. For someone to understand that distance isn't the problem. For someone to understand that the way he handles distance is the problem. For someone to know that distance is nothing when someone means so much. To understand that a relation needs fire, both beautiful and dangerous, passion, adventures, challenges and hard times to be real, otherwise it is just boring, sad and easy.

I wanted to love someone who knows that things who are easily acquired, obtained without any efforts are not of a great value. Anything that's worth it take patience, waiting, even suffering, but in the end, hopes got him going and strong. I wanted and thought that you would be that strong person. Living life to the fullest and never giving up, never letting dreams stay dreams.

I was wrong, and understood that I am the strong person. I am the fighter, and I treasure that fire that keeps me on going. I have the will to love. I have the will to experience new things. I'm an adventurer and I'm sorry you're not. I just refuse to play the victim even when it's hard. Even when it's the easiest path. It's difficult so it's beautiful. I'll miss you, but I have to move on, like you did.

I think that you're really pessimistic about future. You don't know what I'm ready to do and give up to be with the persons I care about, I would sacrifice myself for others, for love.

You're in no position to tell yourself you're not good enough to do anything, you want? You can, but on the contrary of what you may think, I do understand your side of the story, and that's why I told you I was gonna move on, and let you alone, because that's what you want and I respect it.

Though I do think you're overthinking and that is killing you. You care to much about the future to care enough of the present. You can't let go of the past which makes you doubtful about the future and which makes you blind to the beauty of the present and the persons around you, who are there to love you, support you, be happy for you, and most of all believe in you. I believe in you. I believe you can enter whichever university you want to enter. But you're too scared of failure and rejection that you're not even trying to apply or even hope to enter.

That's why I think you need someone to kick your ass saying wake up and move your ass stop trying to rationalize everything and live your life to the fullest, with some big waves of success and big holes of failures because that's what beautiful about life, no matter the fall, you and only you decide if you want to get up or no.

That's what fighting is. That's what being strong is. Failing multiple times but still having the will to continue, the will to learn. To go where you want to go and to be who you want to be.There's no such things as fate or destiny. You want something? Get it. You miss someone? Call. You wanna go there? Work hard, believe in yourself and go. You love someone? Tell them. It might seem hard but after you won't have regrets.Because at least you know you've tried. I won't feel any remorses, because I tried and told you what I wanted and who I loved. It's sad that you don't feel the same indeed, but we can't get all we want. I hit a hard walk today, but I'm not gonna give up on love. I'm still gonna love, still gonna want to love and to give love. I'm never going to give up believe me.