The Odds Aren't In My Favor

Feelings

The next day as I was training with Finnick, I drew back the bow, aiming, getting ready to fire it.

When I released it, I seen that my aim was off by the slightest.

I took another arrow and tried again.

Although, before I fired the shot, Finnick came up to me and placed his hands ever so genlty on my waist, making me jump and release the arrow.

It actually hit bullseye too!

He chuckles. "I didn't mean to scare you, I was only going to help you out by giving you a tip but it seems like just touching you is enough to set you off.

I take a deep breath and grab another arrow.

As I put it in the bow string and Finnick leans down to whisper in my ear, I pay close attention, not letting it sail freely this time.

"Aim a little higher." He says.

I adjust the bow.

"Fire." He says softly and I do, hitting the bullseye again.

He smiles near my ear and I get a strange sensation from it.

I move away from his grip and he seems kinda sad that I did.

Looking at him, I know that somethings up and I knew that I had to face it head on, now.

"Finnick, I think we should talk...." I say, placing the bow back on the rack.

He nods. "Yeah."

I wait for him to start and he does.

"Caleb was right about my feelings for you..." He says coming closer.

I feel myself wanting to back away, but I don't. I stay perfectly still, watching him.

"Feather, I know that there's a lot going on right now....I know I shouldn't trouble you, but I can't hide it from you any longer." He says.

I look into his beautiful eyes and watch him.

"I love you, Feather. I want you to come out of this alive because I want to be with you." He says as he stands right in front of me.

"Finnick, I don't---"

"Don't." He says. "You'll come out alive and then we can be together."

I look into his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I didn't want you to be with me because you felt as if you should repay me...I wanted you to come to me...Naturally." He says.

Sadness...?

Lust....?

Longing...?

What was this madness that I was feeling?!?!

This was too sudden, too fast and too new to me.

Finnick was my mentor...My friend...My hero...But did I love him?

I found myself trying to figure out the strange feelings that were puddling up inside of me.

Things were changing--Happening--between Finnick and I, and I didn't know if it was for the better or the worse.

How hurt would he be if I didn't make it out of the arena alive?

Was I truly willing to let him be miserable for the rest of his life?

Although I knew that he would already be miserable if I turned him down, I knew it would kill him if I died.

Was that why he'd told me to stay alive?

Yes.

I knew that that was true.

"Finnick....I don't know what to feel." I say.

He looked into my eyes.

"Then don't say anything." He says and he places his hand behind my neck gently and crashing his lips onton mine.

My hands instantly come up but stop in mid air as he kisses me passionately.

Why was I letting him do this?

Why was I just standing here?

I was going to die in those games and Finnick was going to be heart broken...But what could I do?

Then I realized what he had asked of me...He asked me to stay alive.

That was the payment he wanted, that was the payment that I would try to give him.

As I wrapped my arms around his neck, he deepened the kiss and I couldn't help but moan a little.

He smirked against my lips as he picked me up.

"Finnick." I say pulling away.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"There are cameras in here..." I say, biting my lip.

He nods. "What if I take you back up to the room?"

"Actually.....I kind of want to wait until marriage." I say.

He smiles. "You are truly too good for me."

I bite my lip, looking down.

"And I love that." He says smiling and carrying me over to the elevator. "And tonight, I'm going to sleep in your room."

My eyes widened.

"I promise I won't try anything. I'll just snuggle and cuddle with you." He says and I smile.

He sets me down just as the door to the room opens.

Mags is reading and Caleb is watching TV.

So as we walk inside, I head for my room.

I actually had some things to do...Or at least, that I wanted to do....