Nadine felt his breath on her neck, he was nuzzling against her.
"I was so happy that Paulo was finally out of the picture and now you're telling me I have to wait for two more years?" He murmured into her hair.
"James-"
"I know, you didn't mean it like that, right?" He put a small gap between them and caressed her cheek with his thumb, "I really can't bear for you to leave."
"It's been finalized, I can't back out now." She heard herself say in a soft gentle voice that equaled his.
"You don't have to." He explained, hands now twirling with a lock of her hair and taking the keys from her hand.
She widened her eyes at that comment. "James, you still don't understand-"
"I do." He cut her mid-sentence. "I'm just being selfish. That's how I've been all these years, wasn't I? So selfish that I have neglected how the person whom I should care about most felt."
Nadine had expected James to say a lot of things, such as insisting her to reject the offer or telling her that she was the one that didn't understand.
Not this sudden confession.
"Learning to love is not an easy lesson."
James circled his arm around her waist, pulling her close; another making soothing circles on the small of her back.
Nadine was trying to digest everything that was happening, trying to formulate something to say or at least give a reaction.
"Nadine," he kissed her temple, "I... Love you."
She felt drained. All these years she had hoped so much to hear such words coming from him and when he finally did tell them to her, she didn't know what to think.
"I love you," he told her again, patting her softly, "Perhaps the way I loved you in the past wasn't right but please, give me another chance to right it."
"James," Nadine heard herself say and realized that she was crying.
James thumbed away her tears with gentle strokes, holding her face as she tried to talk, "Don't cry."
"I hate you. I really do." She cried, harder than ever. "I waited so long," she continued, "I was so close to giving up and-"
"I'm sorry." James kissed her eyes, "I'm sorry, my Naddie, sorry that I was blind to what was right in front of me all these time."
Nadine tried to push him away but her efforts proved futile when he held her within his arms with all he could.
"I hate how you make me so weak." She cried, still refusing to hold onto him, hands by her side. "I hate thinking that you only wanted me for sex. I hate how I agreed to everything because I couldn't reject you. I hate how I never had the courage to tell you how I feel. I hate you, James. I really do."
His heart broke at her breakdown. He never knew the amount of hurt that he had caused her until today and all these years she experienced them alone. James hated himself for not having the sense to see things before.
Her next sentence sent him a pang of pain that was almost physical.
"I hate that I fell in love with you."
"Don't," he held her tighter, as if wanting her to know how much she meant to him. "Let me prove that wrong."
She didn't say anything but he could feel her shake her head.
