Give me Michael - Malum AU

.20.

Ashton's heart was racing, almost jumping out of his chest. He was wiggling his legs and knew his hands were sweating. He hadn't been here for more than two years and he never thought he would need to come over again but here he was. However, something was different. This time, he was the one asking his mother to book an appointment. Soon enough, the secretary called his name and he entered the office. The woman he was once meeting every week had not changed a bit. The curly haired boy smiled slightly and sat on the couch.

"Good afternoon Ashton, how have you been doing?" The teenager breathed out.

"I have been doing pretty well for a while but... it's becoming more and more difficult to go through the day without breaking down or having... bad thoughts." The last two words he pronounced weren't much more than a whisper. He hadn't talked about this to anyone. Besides, he was ashamed and scared of getting bad again.

"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

"Indeed, Ashton, I do. I'd like you to say it out loud anyway, because it is not a shame to have these thoughts, and you don't seem to remember of that."

"The thoughts..." The blond stopped his sentence, took a few deep breath and began tapping his foot on the floor.

"Take your time; this is fine, calm down."

"The thoughts are about how worthless and useless I am. They remind me how much of a bad friend I am as well. They aren't as strong as they used to. I don't wanna relapse yet but... I'm... scared it will come to this again, you know?"

The young man was so uncomfortable saying that, but sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone, right? Dr Jones smiled. Even though she wouldn't say it out loud, she was incredible proud of him for coming because he wasn't okay, in the first place. She was proud of him for talking instead of staying mute like he did the first time she saw him. She would help him the best she could, first of all because it was her job, and secondly, because she had learnt feeling protective of him.

"We won't let that happen, okay?" The blond nodded. "Do you know what triggers you?"

Ashton began talking openly. He broke down every single one of his wall. He told her about Calum, about Michael and about some questions he had about himself as well. He told her everything. Time passed pretty fast and before he knew it, it was time to leave. They shook hands and as he was about to exit the office, the therapist called him back.

"Ashton? I think you should write in your journal again if you've stopped, yeah? I'll see you next week."

The curly boy nodded and left. As he stepped out of the building, he smiled seeing Luke leaned against his car. The younger was here to spend time with him and check he was okay as well. He hadn't noticed his friend was outside nor that he was approaching him. That's why; when Ashton poked his shoulder he jumped in pure fear before smiling so big that his smile was reaching his eyes.

"You came." Luke felt proud when he heard the happiness in the older's voice.

"Of course I came! I needed to make sure you were alright, and in case you don't think my first reason is enough, you can believe that I'm also here because we need to work on our music project."

"I actually like the first reason way more than the second one."

Ashton grinned as the youngest blushed. They get in the car and Luke drove them to the park they met at on the day they wanted to know each other a bit more. The curly haired teenager switched on the radio and both of them began to hum the songs that were playing.  Then, they started to sing shyly because none of them trusted their voice but after two minutes, they were singing like there was no tomorrow. The young men were having lots of fun and that was for the best. They needed to get their mind off of certain things, to forget about what was happening in their life for a bit. Luke parked the car and they exited it. That's when Ashton noticed the blonde's guitar in the back of the car. They walked toward their tree and sat against it.