Give me Michael - Malum AU

.17.

Calum felt anxious. He hadn't had a real conversation with Michael for ages. He had been through a lot because of the blue haired boy and now he was the one asking permission to talk to him. He was insane. His heart was beating faster than ever as he sat in front of the sofa, watching the older slowly becoming conscious. The pale boy frowned when he saw his ex-best friend. Why was he here? They stared at each other during a very long time, neither of them saying anything. Finally, Michael broke the silence.

"What happened? How did I get here?"

"I think I should be the one asking 'what happened?' Don't you think?" He paused, then seeing the blue haired boy wouldn't answer he started talking again. "Ashton called me, he needed my help to get you out of your house and we drive you here. His mother kind of took care of you."

"Have you seen anything?" Calum was surprised when he saw fear and stress crossing Michael features.

"No, I didn't. Ash' told me we should talk, that we both needed it or something, so here am I. I'd like to ask you certain things though."

"Go ahead."

"What happened at your house? Why did Ashton had to call?" The blue haired boy looked everywhere but at Calum. He couldn't say the truth. Not to Calum. "You're not gonna answer? Seriously?"

"I can't. I'd like to, but I can't. I'm sorry."

"Let's try with an easier question. Who told everyone about me?"

"Bellamy."

"Why did he?"

"I don't really know."

"Why didn't you told me?"

"He threaten me. I couldn't tell you or he was goi-." He stopped to talk at that precise moment. One more second and he would have let it slipped accidentaly. He couldn't. He couldn't. Calum mustn't know. Calum couldn't know.

"He was going to what?" The brunette started to loose his calm.

"I can't tell you, please, don't make me."

"The thing is, you ask me to forgive you, but you bullied me, you don't tell me the truth when we speak. So how could I forgive you?"

"I can't tell you, that's all. You don't trust me anymore and I don't want to use it to somehow having your pity, resulting in you forgiving me. I want you to forgive me because you think I deserve it, not because you think you have to." The tan boy was about to argue but hold himself back when he notice how hard Michael was trying not to cry. He had never seen him crying, never. That's when he decided to not pushing further, he would eventually know one day, if Michael wanted to tell him. He went back to the main subject.

"So bellamy told it to everyone, you don't know why, and he threaten you so you couldn't tell me it was him. Why bullying me then?"

"I didn't want to but Bellamy had a really strong pressure on me. He had me wrapped around his finger because of fear and everyone wanted me to do so, and... I ended up doing so. I regret it. I regret every part of it. I hate myself for that and... I know this is not an excuse but that's the only thing I can say."

"You know it's not enough, right?"

"Yes, I do... Yet, could you think about letting me trying to have your trust again?"

"I'll think about it, but know that for now, my answer is no." The brunette began to stand up. As he was about to leave the room the hurt young man interrupted him.

"Can I ask you something as well?"

"I guess so."

"What did you mean the other day when you told me I had sent you to the hospital?" He kept on going when he was hit by only silence. "Was it because you... you had cut or tried to kill yourself?"

He could only see Calum's back still he noticed how the younger was shaking, as if he was scared or tore apart. He felt his heart being ripped in tiny little pieces when he heard what the answer was. It wasn't much more than a whisper but he still heard it clearly. It was going to be inked in his soul forever.

"I just couldn't take it anymore."