Clay and Hannah// 13 reasons why

Poem

Hannah's POV

Today has been awful, but what day hasn't been awful for me? Ryan had no right in publishing my poetry, and I sure as hell won't take the excuse "I'm helping you, it is meant to be read" shit – like jackass I don't give a damn, it was my private writings that took a lot of courage for me to even show him and read to everyone. I'm glad it wasn't horrible for people, but the school was never ever suppose to read that

But hey, at least he didn't say who wrote it – then we would have an even bigger problem

But maybe I want people to know I wrote it, because now everyone is just making assumptions and trying to guess who wrote it, and some aren't even understanding it – they're not reading it and thinking that someone is hurting – they're reading it and of course thinking that it's fake and it's just someone looking for attention, because that's what high school students accept – that everyone is as happy and perfect as most of them are and no one actually has feelings

Right now, I was sweeping the floor at the Crest Mount, and stuck in my own thoughts, I never realized Clay was reading my damn anonymous poem, and part of me was hoping he wouldn't read it, and just let it pass away as another stupid, dumb, trend that everyone is obsessed with for a day until something else happens – but sure enough he was reading it

"You know this poem is actually really good, it's dark – but good" He says to me, not taking his eyes off it

"I think it's nothing" I shrug off

"This person is obviously hurting and no one is doing anything about it, I just want to I don't know hug them" He says

"Hug them?" I ask

"Well just be there for them and comfort them, it's what this person deserves" He says looking at me

I couldn't stop myself from giving him a small smile, he wants to help this person – well me – and be there for them, and honestly Clay is the only one so far that hasn't done anything wrong to me, I mean sure when that picture came out – he assumed the same as everyone else, and at the Crest Mount where he couldn't find the words be kind and then failed, and when he thought that list was a good thing – but it sure as hell wasn't... He's a good boy, and he just isn't good with words – at least when he is talking to me

Another thing is he's never tried anything with me

He respects me, and I love that

For example; at the dance, everyone was grinding into each other and sucking each other's faces off – and still during the slow song, they all hand their hands on each other's ass's, and I know Clay noticed it as well, and he just kept his hands on my mid back, and we just rocked out crazily with each other, without a care in the world... that was a really fun night for me – before everything with Courtney.

I look more forward to seeing Clay every day, and I never used to do that – like sure I was always happy to see him, but never used to wake up and immediately think of him, and I can't answer why I do that now, because I am still trying to figure that out myself.

But whatever happens, he'll always be my helmet

Hellooo, I know TWO UPDATES IN THE SAME DAY??? WOOW IMPOSSIBLE AAHAHAHA, but yeah - I am in that writing mood today and I remember this scene and how much I wanted Clay to say how he would comfort the person (aka Hannah) and not say "I wouldn't hang out with them", you know what I mean? SO I HAD TO WRITE