Clay and Hannah// 13 reasons why

Understanding

Hannah POV

The FML girls. Jessica and I... We used to be friends, until one time she thought I was the reason Alex broke up with her and then she slapped me - and in that moment I felt hurt and betrayed - and just shocked that she would ever think I would do something like that.

I told myself I wouldn't be friends with anyone I have had bad times with! Clay is all I need, and also Toni, Jeff, and Skye are cool as well. I told myself that I wouldn't get myself caught up in anything - I've did that enough and almost wanted to die.

But lately Jessica has been weird. Wearing sagging clothes, hair in a messy bun, extreme dark circles, not to mention all the drinking, getting high, and the wanting of sex - but that's most teenagers. When I knew her, she was never like this. Yeah, she drank alcohol, but we all did - it's just now - it's all the time, I constantly see her secretly drinking at school.

Maybe something happened. I know how that feels
Maybes it's a family issue
Maybe Justin and her broke up... but that would be spreading throughout the halls.

Maybe I can help her, if I just went up there and asked her if everything was okay, and if she ever needed someone to talk to - that I'm here for her. Because I am, no one should go through pain alone

But I didn't tell her those, because I never had the guts to walk up to her. Because I know what I thought when I was going through shit, and I know a lot of people also have had this feeling

Wanting to be alone

Wanting everyone to just mind their business and see the good in you

That if someone would have walked up to me and asked if I was okay, I would feel anger and I would want to be a total bitch. Because now you care? After everything this school had done to me, after all the times people laughed at me, or token advantage of me, or violated me - you care now!

I would just want everyone to leave me alone, accept for the people I liked.

Jessica doesn't like me.

FML girls are on a string