Lexa Deserved Better (clexa fic)

won

(Maybe I'll watch anything with lesbians, maybe Eliza Taylor, Marie Avgeropoulos, Lindsey Morgan, and Alicia Debnam-Carey are all really attractive, or maybe I just enjoy pain. For whatever reason, I decided it was a good idea to watch The 100. I was wrong. This was basically written because I'm stubborn and refuse to let Clexa end like that.)

"I want you," Clarke said, her eyes watering as she looked at the commander, stretched out on her bed, blood clinging to her skin and gushing from the bullet hole in her stomach. Even on the brink of death, Lexa seemed like she had everything under control. Clarke had never seen her righteous, confident expression leave her face. Unless they were alone.

Lexa shuddered, tightening her grip on Clarke's arm. Her face had reflected the acceptance of her fate, but at Clarke's words, it became hard set with determination.

"Then that is what you shall get. My spirit shall stay in this body for you," she panted. "Titus, ignore my previous command. Put your supplies away. Clarke says it's not my time, so it's not my time."

"Heda, why do you let this Skaikru girl make so many decisions for you? I fear the amount of trust you've placed in her is foolish."

"I trust Clarke with my life," Lexa answered. "And what better way to show it than by putting my life in her hands. Do what you must to keep me alive, Clarke."

"What if I can't do it?" Clarke asked. "What if you die?" 

"I believe in you, Clarke. And, if I die, you will be taken care of. My spirit will make sure of it. That's all I care about."

"But that's not what I care about," Clarke said stubbornly. "I care about you. Stay strong for me. Hold on."

"You know I will," Lexa said, offering up a smile that looked as weak as she felt. 

"Light a fire," Clarke ordered, turning to Titus. 

Titus gave Lexa a questioning look, one that showed that he clearly didn't trust Clarke's judgment. Lexa knew that shouldn't make her angry because trust wasn't something any of the grounders gave easily, but she trusted Clarke, and that should be enough for all of her people, especially Titus. 

"Obey Clarke's wishes, Titus. She was the healer for her village."

"How do we remove the bullet, Wanheda?" Titus asked after lighting the fire. 

"We don't."

"What?"

"We don't. The bullet is less of a danger left in than it would be if we tried to pull it out. The chances that it will cause problems later on are much lower than the chances that she wouldn't survive it's removal, and if it does cause problems, we can always remove it later, when she can be taken to a sterile medical environment."

It was getting harder and harder for Lexa to breathe. She'd lost a lot blood, and her vision was going dark at the edges. Clarke took note of this. 

"We don't have time to argue, just do as I say! Put this knife's blade into the flames until it's nice and hot, and then hand it to me. I need to cauterize the wound. That should stop the bleeding and kill off any bacteria around it."

Titus handed her the knife and watched in horror as she pressed it against Lexa's skin. Lexa cried out and arched her back.

"Wanheda, what are you doing?" he demanded. "Can't you see she's in pain?"

"If I don't do this, she'll die," Clarke snapped. "And I'm not going to let that happen." She turned to Lexa. "Lie still, Heda. I need you to stay still for me."