Mistakes I Made | The Walking Dead

Part 5

As we reached the gate, I fell back to where Rick stood before Daryl suddenly grabbed my hand, pointing at the gate with his other, "Alright, open it up, we're goin'-"

"You're not-- both of you." Rick stopped him as the gate swung opened, the rest of the group going through it.

"We ain't stayin' here." He murmured.

"You have to," Rick reminded, "Its the smartest play-- you know it is."

I stayed silent as I felt Daryl tense before he let go of my hand, beginning to pace.

"Try to talk to Ezekiel," Rick stopped him, "Or stare him into submission-- whatever it takes." He said as he placed a hand on Daryl's shoulder, glancing over at me, "We'll be back soon."

We both stayed silent before Rick nodded at us, turning to walk out the gate before it loudly creaked closed behind him.

I let out a heavy sigh as my eyes stayed glued to the metal barrier, feeling like, once again, I was being held captive from those I wanted to be with most.. and it was so draining.

"C'mon." Daryl mumbled, attempting to grab at my hand again before I pulled back, turning away from him and walking mindlessly into the depths of the Kingdom-- not knowing where I wanted to go but just feeling like I needed a second alone to get all of my thoughts back in order.

***

The warm sun on my skin almost felt foreign after spending so much time inside the Sanctuary, as I sat away from the world, in the grass, behind some unknown building, trying to rethink everything I once hoped for.
It's weird to think that one thing can spiral into so many others-- each decision feeling worse than the last even though the intentions behind them all carried no ill intent. I thought that after the world died, it would give up on trying to make my life a living hell, but I know now for sure that it has no plans on giving up any time soon.

I think, right now, I was more scared for the future than I've been in my entire life.. and it was really starting to sink in. But at this point, I'm less scared of what might happen to me, and more worried about the lives of the people I grow more fond of each day-- the people who finally gave me what I wanted for so long. Everyone in Alexandria gave me the gift of a family that actually cared about my wellbeing.. and I'll do whatever I have to to repay them.

As for Daryl.. I don't even know what to think. I know that there's still something between us, even if it's just the smallest spark, I can feel it.. but I don't know if I want to. Even if that spark was a flame-- a raging inferno, there will still always be that one thing that's just waiting to put it out; Negan. And it's not just Negan, it's everything that Negan and I did together that I can never take back, no matter how bad I so desperately wanted to.
Daryl and I don't deserve each other for completely separate reasons; Daryl treated me like I was his world, and at the end of the day, I treated him like he was just apart of mine. I always felt like he was too good for me, and it hurt to finally realize that I was right all along.

I flinched, looking back as I heard a loud creak from the door of the building behind me open up, not having expected anyone to come out of it.

"Hope I did not startle you, Liz." The King's voice boasted as I stood up from the lawn.

I shook my head, dusting off my pants, "No- no, I'm sorry, I just- I wanted to find somewhere away from everyone."

"No need to be apologetic; the Kingdom is open to all who respect it-- every inch of it." The King explained, gesturing to the land around us, "But please tell the King, since you're here, why does your face carry so much sorrow?"

I let out a small laugh, "Why wouldn't it?"

The King shrugged, "Even in the darkest hours, the morrow may still be filled with the light of the future if you allow it."

"Yeah, I find that hard to believe."

"Do you?" He questioned, "Maybe you experience trouble believing in other things as well-- maybe that's why your light has yet to come."

"No," I shook my head lightly, my eyes fixed to the ground, "My light came.. and then I helped put it out."

The King nodded slowly before walking over to me, "Do you see this grass that we are standing upon?" He asked, gesturing at the ground with the staff he held firmly onto, "Every Tuesday it is cut to a desirable length, and when a week has passed, the grass has already doubled its previous; everything can be rebuilt, my dear."

I bit at the inside of my cheek, looking over to him, "I didn't just cut the grass though, I set it on fire and poured gasoline on it every chance I got, not knowing it would make it worse." I admitted, "And once you've done that, and all the grass is dead, you realize that even if there's a patch that's still green.. it won't fix the whole lawn." I shook my head, his stare on me holding a mixture of intrigue and confusion, "Thanks though." I breathed, turning to walk away.

"My Kingdom was built from nothing," the King began from behind, stopping me momentarily, "And if we were so unlucky to have it taken from beneath us, I would build anew from the ruble of which it has become. And if you so must, take this opportunity given to you by your troubles and turn them into a new light-- one that will burn as bright as your last but have the staying power of a love that will never die."

I turned back slightly, the words of a bear stranger beginning to make me question things in a different way than before, "Thank you, King."

_____
This was a bit of a different chapter, firstly showing the connection that Liz and Daryl still have, but then digging deep into Liz's mind to see what's actually going on

I'd love to hear your thoughts!