Mistakes I Made | The Walking Dead

Part 16

Rick glanced over to me again, his stare holding confusion and impatience before he forced his attention back to the road, "I don't know what you think is going to happen, but I'm not going to let it and Daryl sure as hell won't either-"

"It's not your choice!" I cut him off, my voice raising in an attempt to convince myself that all the bridges I was going to end up burning would be for a reason, "I've hurt people Rick, and I can't keep going on knowing what I've done.. especially when I have to see those people constantly."

Rick let out a quick breath, his mind at work, "Okay, then when we win, you don't have to stay in Alexandria," he began, trying to negotiate the situation, "We'll find you a place at Hilltop or the Kingdom-- I'm sure Ezekiel would be fine with you staying there."

I bit down hard on my bottom lip as I felt myself become more and more numb to the heartbreak I was inflicting on myself, "Thank you for getting me off of that car, but I shouldn't have come back with you, and I know that now," I breathed, keeping my stare stuck out the front window as a group of familiar cars sat in the distance, "I wouldn't have been able to survive out there on my own for long if I didn't, but now I can," I swallowed harshly, looking over to him as we came to a stop, "So if you really want to win.. don't tell Daryl that I hope we never see each other again after this is all over."

The conversation then came to a dead stop as Carl and Michonne got in the backseat, "Everything's loaded into Tara's car and ready to go." Michonne spoke as the thickened air slowly escaped through the cracked windows.

Rick nodded slowly, shifting the car back into gear as I quickly wiped a single fallen tear from my bottom lash line, "Then we'll follow her lead."

***

I felt like I was walking a thin line that was threatening to snap at any minute, sending everything I hoped for crashing to the ground below, but I wasn't going to let that happen.
I have never cared for anyone more than I do for the people who became my everything when I had nothing, but for the sake of everyone, the love and respect between us had to stop.
I want us to win this fight, so I'll do whatever I have to do to make sure we do, but if I'm somehow still alive at the end of it all, I'm not sticking around for the party.

"Daryl, Jesus, Aaron, and Eric," Rick called out after the explosives had been placed, "You take watch of the armory-- anyone tries to go for it, you stop them." He continued, "The rest of you stay out here, spread out if you need to-- don't let anyone slip through the cracks. Michonne will take lookout in the trees-- she'll watch for walkers and redirect anyone who strays off course." He finished, checking the rounds in his gun, "If you have to shoot, aim for their feet, we aren't trying to hurt any of them."

***

"Well.. that's it," Tobin breathed, looking away from his watch, "She couldn't do it."

"Alright, let's get in position-" Carl began before he was cut off by the first explosion, the ground rumbling beneath us as we all paused for a minute, watching the plume of smoke rise in the distance.

"God, I hope this works." I swore under my breath as we all scattered, hiding out in the tree line.

***

"Everybody down!" Scott, an Alexandrian, yelled as the group of terrified people ran into us, another explosion going off just seconds before.

"Hands on your head!" Tobin instructed as they all kneeled before us, leaving me with an eerie sense of deja vu.

"Everybody stay calm." Scott attempted to hush the frightened crowd.