Mistakes I Made | The Walking Dead

Part 12

I kept my distance from Daryl most of the morning, being afraid that if he caught on to anything that was going through my mind, I wouldn't be able to lie to him about it.
I knew I wouldn't be able to keep this from him forever, but I also knew that telling him would cause an avalanche of hell. It felt like no matter what I did, I was always being torn between two choices that both carried completely different outcomes.
I only wanted what was best for everyone, even if it meant risking it all.

"Hey, where ya been?" Daryl's familiar voice called, an uneasy feeling coming over me as I could just tell that this wasn't going to end well.

"I was just, uh, helping Maggie again." I stuttered out the lie, having been caught off guard.

"With what?" He questioned, his tone suspicious, "I just saw her back at the trailer."

"She um--" I paused, shaking my head, "I was helping Sasha and Rosita."

"Then why ya gotta lie?"

"Because Rosita didn't come here to help with training," I admitted quietly, "Her and Sasha are going to go after Negan themselves-- I drew them a map of inside the Sanctuary."

He nodded slowly, pushing himself off of the picnic table he sat on before walking off.

"Daryl?" I called, "Stop-- where are you going?"

"I'm goin' with 'em-" he mumbled as I followed closely behind him, grabbing at his arm.

"You can't-- I already asked to go and Sasha said it wasn't worth the risk-"

"You?" He turned around, his eyebrows furrowed, "Why the hell did ya ask to go?"

My mouth fell slightly open as I desperately wished I could take back the words that had just spewed out moments ago, knowing that this is when everything would start to crumble, "I want this to be over with.." I breathed, "All of it."

I watched as Daryl silently got more and more frustrated, and I didn't blame him. I feel like ever since we met I've been putting him through hell and expecting him to just deal with it, and he has been, but that's exactly why he doesn't deserve it.
The first time we went on a run together I nearly got the both of us killed and somehow he still decided to put up with me. And when I left Alexandria, he went after me and convinced me to come back with him. He's always had my best interest at heart, and it hurt to see the struggle my actions made him go through.

"If Sasha and Rosita can't finish this, I'm going back to the Sanctuary-" I began to explain, my voice weak, forcing the truth out.

"Ya ain't-" Daryl immediately cut me off, talking over me.

"And I'm going to find a way to stop Negan from the inside-"

"Ya ain't going back there!" He stopped me again, his voice harsh.

"I have to!" I argued back, "If I don't more of our people are going to die-"

"Ya think he's gonna go easy on ya when ya get back?" Daryl questioned, "Like ya just came back from a little vacation or somethin'-"

"He won't hurt me!" I stopped him.

"How do ya know that, Liz?" He continued, "How do ya know he ain't gonna kill ya the second he sees ya?"

"Because he told me!" I admitted, pausing for a second as I let out a sigh, "He couldn't kill me then and I don't think he can now-"

"Yeah, well ya ain't gonna find out." He cut me off, grabbing my wrist and pulling me behind him.

"Daryl-- Daryl, stop!" I yelled, ripping my arm from his grip.

"I ain't losing ya again!" His voice boomed, causing me to shutter as his eyes stayed locked on the ground between us, his dirty hair covering his face, "I ain't gonna let him take ya again."

I felt as my heart began to ache even more than it had been just seconds earlier; every decision I make seeming to be the wrong one. There was no way to finish what was started without pain in the process, that had already been proven, but I just wish I wasn't the cause of Daryl's.

Both of our attentions were then quickly caught as loud banging echoed through the Hilltop, "The Saviors are coming!" A voice yelled as the noise continued, "The Saviors are coming!"

"Guys-- come on!" Enid yelled, running up to where we stood as she gestured us to follow behind her, "You have to hide!"

"Where's Maggie and Glenn?" I asked, panic in my voice.

"They're with Jesus-- they're fine!" She informed as we ran behind her, "Just uh- stay down here," she stuttered out of breath, opening up the wooden cellar door, "I'll keep them away; they aren't the same ones who came to Alexandria."

***

"Daryl!" I called quietly as I watched him peak out the wooden slats, "Daryl, please-- come on!" I nearly begged before forcibly pulling him away from the door and back behind a wooden shelving unit.

This wasn't the time to go back to the Sanctuary-- not yet, and I wasn't going to let it happen. The thought of being alone with Negan's people sent shivers down my spine, nearly making my stomach turn knowing none of them thought too fondly of me. I knew there was a chance that Negan wouldn't kill me if I went back to him, but if he wasn't there, I don't think I'd even make it halfway to the Sanctuary's doors; just another casualty along the way.
That wasn't even my biggest fear in this moment though.. my biggest fear was that Daryl would get caught, and then everything would be over. I know now that there is nothing I can do to stop Negan from killing Daryl, and even if there was, I think Daryl would end getting himself killed in the process.

My heart stopped as the cellar door creaked open, a shadowed figure stepping in.

_____
As you know, originally this scene was between Daryl and Maggie, but since Glenn is still alive in this book, I've switched it to be Daryl and Liz.
The next chapter will have a lot of emotions and I'm sure a few shocks, so please take a second to ready yourself.

Also, let me know your thoughts, I really enjoy reading them!