Wide Eyed (A Harry Styles Fanfic)

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Lily's P.O.V.

I woke up to the sound of the dreaded alarm clock at six am. Classes don’t start until 7am, but since I’ve been literally sleeping with Harry, I always set my alarm clock earlier. Harry was always awake during the wee hours of the morning. Probably because he had nightmares that he was desperately trying to get rid of.

I remember trying to get rid of my nightmares. It took months to get rid of. Some days I would be fine and others I’d be an emotional wreck. But at least sometimes I had fine days.That means you’re getting better. Eventually the good days last for weeks and then they slowly turn into months of pure happiness. But like everyone else in this world, the bad days will come again and it will feel like you have to start over. but just continue on; things will get better it just take time.

Sometimes it takes a long time. For some people it takes years. I don’t know when Erin died, but I’m pretty sure it was recent. I just hope I could help him. I noticed his scars aren’t being re-opened. He are letting them heal. People are like scars. You get hurt, you bleed, and it takes time to heal. But you won’t heal if you keep picking at the same wound. Give yourself time to heal.

I turned to my side to see why there wasn’t any weight next to me. Harry wasn’t in my bed, or anywhere in my room. I got out of my bed to see if he was in my bathroom. He wasn’t in there either. I checked my phone to see if there were any messages or missed calls to explain his absence. There wasn’t any. I unlocked my phone and clicked my contacts to search for his name. I called him, and there was no answer. It rang twice, then it cut off, which means he declined my call. He was ignoring me.

I pulled on my jeans and converse, throwing on the same hoodie I’ve been wearing. I sped walked down the hallway, careful not to wake the other girls in my dorm building. I turned the corner to walk to Harry’s dorm when I spotted a familiar messy head of curls sitting in the small sitting area between our dorm buildings. He was sitting facing toward the all so famous Tailor Bridge. I walked over to Harry, sitting down next to me.

I put my hand on his back, rubbing down the length of it.

“You ok?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” he answered.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m just tired of being sad. It’s like a never ending downward spiral. And I’m sick of it. I don’t know how to get out of it.”

“What makes you sad?”

“You already know the answer.”

“Harry, sometimes you have to listen to yourself say it to make it go away.”

He looked at his hands, trying to pull his thoughts together.

“I always feel like it’s my fault my sister died. I could’ve helped her, but I didn’t. I know its not my fault but the thought of it haunts me.”

My heart broke when he told me that he blamed himself. I didn’t need to.

“Don’t feed yourself negativity. It only manifests in you and it makes yourself worst. Then you become your only problem. Everything is only inside your head. Thats where the biggest war happens, in your mind. The side that wins is the one your spend your time helping. Tell yourself good things.”

“What good things? There isn’t anything special about me.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me! Harry, I can’t believe those words just escaped your lips.”

I stood in front of him, and began to pace back and forth.

“You are the most beautiful combination of DNA to ever bond to another.You are beautiful in looks and in your mind. You can’t see it but everyone on the outside that has even the slightest bit of intelligence can. You say the most profound things and it makes me question my intelligence every single time you talk to me. You speak with such wisdom and grace and I don’t get how you could do it. And I don’t get how you could sit here in front of me and say you’re nothing special. You are so much more than special. I feel like you’re this essence that I watch from behind a glass door, because my inferior being can’t exist in the same realm as you. I’d damage it. It feels like all the nights that you stared out at the stars, somehow the beautiful universe binded to every single atom in your body. Harry, you are a child of the universe made completely out of stardust and galaxies.  The night sky might think its nothing special because its mostly dark, but when people see it, they don’t see mass amounts of darkness. They see the beautiful little flecked lights all throughout it. And thats exactly how I see you.”

I sat down next to him, the reality of how I saw him, hitting us both in the face. Everything I said was true. He was perfection. He stretched out his long legs on the bench and laid his head on my lap. I ran my fingers through his fading curls, twisting one around my finger.

“Is that how you really think of me?”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t be that special. I’m just Harry.”

“Well, I think you are. Nothing will ever make me stop.”

“I think you’re special too. That rant was so thoughtout. Did you practice it or something?”

“No, I’m an English major. Things like that just come to me.”

“That’s really impressive.”

I laughed at his attempt to compliment me.

“C’mon, lets get you a different shirt. You wore that one yesterday.”

“So, you wear that same hoodie everyday.”

“But look at your jeans, buy some more. I can see your boxers through your holes in your back pocket.”

“Of course you had to take a look.”

After we went to Harry’s dorm to get him a new shirt, we headed to math class. On the way to our classroom, Harry slung his arm over my shoulder, the weight of it pulling me into him.

During math, Harry keep sending me notecards with knock knock jokes on them. I laughed at how stupid they were since all of them lacked humor. The professor kicked Harry out for causing a disturbance, and then explained that in adult world there isn’t any time for immaturity. When Harry got kicked out, he decided to text me knock knock jokes. Then I got kicked out along with him, for giggling.

“You ass, you got me kicked out. And I’m already failing math.”

“I’ll tutor you.”

“No! You’re the reason I’m failing in the first place.”

“Shutup and let me take you out for breakfast.”

Harry and I got on the bus headed to the nearest strip mall.

“You better not be taking me to Starbucks. I hate coffee and no one wants a slice of cake that isn’t even all that great.” I complained.

“Yeah, well, that’s where we're going.”

“Ugh, Harry.”

“You will get the overpriced slice of cake.”

“If this is our first date, I don’t think I want to go on another.” I joked, sitting down at one of the tables.

“Too late. You told me I’m the galaxies already. We’re a package deal now.”

I looked around at the shop and realized that most of the people here aren’t even drinking coffee. They just sit here on their laptops looking at pictures of coffee.

“Harry, can we leave? I want to eat my overpriced cake somewhere else.”

Harry laughed at my annoyance. Again, he slung his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into him. He leaned in and kissed my temple. I smiled that such a simple thing, could be so effective.

Simple but effective. Vote and comment if you remember where that’s from.

Harry really is like the universe to me. Everything that Lily said was true as to how I see Harry.

Please vote or comment because it literally took me three hours to write.

Thanx a milli to everyone reading, I hit 600 reads yesterday! Also remember to read my Harry Styles Dirty Imagines. You have to follow me to read it because it is rated R.

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