not wanted

chapter 1

                         "Ugly bitch get down here now",the women who gave birth to me yelled. I let out a big sigh. I grabbed my headphones and put them on. I walked downstairs and got slapped right in the face. I just kept my head down and didn't say a thing." Hurry up and get in the dining room",my father scolded me. I took my seat next my sister. I picked at the food cause I don't eat anymore." Hey sis why your not eating",my little sis asked. I looked at her and gave her a fake smile." I'm not hungry thats all",I said." Well good your fat ass doesnt need to eat anyway so get out of my sight",my mother told me. I nodded and got up. While I was walking away my father let out his foot to trip me. I triped on his foot and fell on my elbow. I winced in pain and tried not to cry." Watch were you going ugly",my father said. I got up and said sorry sir. I walked up to my room and sat down on my bed. I took out my small box with my blades. I pulled up my sleeve and add more cuts. Three for being born. Three for being a mistake. Three more failing my suicide attempt. Yes I tried to kill my self before but as you can tell it didnt work. That is what actually made my parents hate me even more. As I watched my blood drip I can still hear what my mother said at the hospital." I don't know why we are even in here with her she deserves to die",my mothers voice said. Hearing that while I was in the hospital hurt me more. I know I should be use to it cause it been happening ever since I got into the fifth grade. But it still hurts knowing my parents wished I was never born. I wiped the tears that fell out. I been going through this ever since I came the right age to understand. A day never gos by were I don't here what a mistake I was. Or why I just don't do the world a favor and jump off a bridge. I use to believe that does words weren't true. But when the physical abuse came into the picture I started to believe they were true. I wiped my tears and went to the bathroom I have in my room and washed my arm. When I walked out the bathroom to see my little sister on my bed. I pulled down my sleeve and walked to her." Hey are you okay I saw what dad did",my sister lily said." I'm fine",I said with a fake smile. My sister could tell when my smile is fake. Lily pulled me into a hug. I started to cry on my little sister shoulder." Rose why don't you leave this house",lily said. I looked at her and put my head down." I have no place to go lily I'm just better of dead",I said with more tears coming out. Lily looked at me beginning to cry." Rose don't talk like that please they don't mean what they say",lily said. My parents walked in and grabbed lily and moved her away from me." Lily don't go near the fatass we don't want you to catch the ugly",my mother said. My father then walked up to me and slapped me. My mom took lily and left. My father spent the rest of the night beating me until I lost a lot of blood. He left me on the floor bleeding and all bruised up. But the sad thing is I didn't feel the pain. All I feel is numb.