not wanted

chapter 19

         

                                                                          I went to sleep pretty late last night. I stood up looking at the stars. I also started to think about if Rose was watching over me. Rubbing my eyes and shaking my thoughts out of my head and  got up. I still needed a dress for the funeral tomorrow. I also have to prepare myself to talk to Alexandra later on today. I walk to the bathroom and take a cold shower. I then tie my hair up and put on some ripped jeans and Roses Shirt on that says," I'm a fighter", on it. I grabbed the car keys and drive to the mall. I don't know where people usually by funeral dresses so I decided to check the mall. I walked into forever 21 and look around. Finding one cute but a classy black dress i grab my size and pays for it. I decided to get a black bow and some earrings to. Getting what I needed I walk out of forever 21 and check the time on my phone. It was still to early to go to the resturant and wait for Alexandra so I went into a shoe place and bought black heels. I also looked around others stores until it was time to meet up with Alexandra. I then drove back to the hotel and changed into a red short dress with some red heels. I grabbed my chapstick and phone and went back into my car. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous to talk to Alexandra. She hasn't talked to me in person since she went off on me at the hospital. Finally arriving at the mexican resturant I park the car and let out a sigh. I walk into the resturant to see Alexandra in a short violet dress with black heels. Her hair was in a nice big bun and she had a little bit of makeup on. She looked very beautiful and see why Rose went for her. I walked up to her and tapped her shoulder. " Oh you scared me a little hey Lily", She said turning to face me. " Hey Alexandra ", I said quitely and not looking into her eyes. " Lets take our seat and then we can talk", Alexandra said. I nodded and we followed the waiter to our table. The resturant was so colorful but I was feeling grey. " So lets talk about the funeral planning how is everything going ", Alexandra asked. " Its umm going fine", I said looking at my menu. " Lily listen I didn't mean to go off on you like how did in the hospital", She said looking at me. " Its ok I deserved it I killed my sister", I said.  " You didn't kill her Lily your parents killed her don't blame yourself for this", Alexanadra said. We stopped talking when the waitress asked us what we wanted. Alexandra asked for spicy tacos and a pepsi. I asked for a burrito and mountin dew. The waitress nods and takes the menus and walks away. " So back to what we were talking about it wasn't your fault why are you blaming yourself", Alexandra said. " You said it yourself if I hadn't said what I said never cheated on her she wouldn't been in the hospital in the first place and our parents wouldn't have been called", I said looking at her with an emotionless face. The waitress comes back again and places our drinks down. I nod my head as a thank you and watch her walk away. " Lily I didn't mean what I said I was just so upset about losing Rose that I said things that hurt you", Alexandra siad while looking down. " But you were right all those things you said were true", I said. Alexandra looked up at me with shock in her eyes. " Lily it wasn't your fault you was just mad at the moment please stop blaming yourself", Alexandra said. I shook my head no and looked at the food I didn't even know came. I began to eat and so did Alexandra. We finshed our food in slience. " You the reason why I called you to meet up was because I didn't want you to feel like it was your fault but clearly it's already stuck in your mind that it was", Alexandra said. I just looked at her and got up. I grabbed the check and put money in it before she could. " Thank you for trying to make me believe it wasn't my fault but in my  mind it was always be my fault so bye I would like to see you tomorrow at the funeral if you don't come I understand it was because of me", I said and walked off. I didn't want to hear what she wanted to say. As I walk to the car many tears fall. With blurry vision I make it to the hotel and I go to my room. I set up my cloths for the funeral and shower. I then change 1into Rose shirt again and fall asleep not ready for the funeral tomorrow.

~ THE NEXT CHAPTER WOULD BE THE LAST CHAPTER OF THIS STORY SO I JUST WANT TO SAY NOW THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO READ THIS CORNY BOOK I AM SO THANKFUL FOR YA'LL ~