Falling For You

Chapter 11: Cutting

"Avery." He whispers. "I had no idea you still had feelings for him."
I shake my head.
"You just heard me yell at him. It's not what you think Daniel." I whisper.
He just laughs.
"Of course Avery. It's never what I think." He says, his voice bitter. "You still love him."
Water fills his eyes.
As does mine.
He starts running towards his house next door.
I run after him. What I said was not true. I love him. And he loves me back.
The thought makes my vision go blurry.
He loves me, and he believes that I don't return it.
But I do.
I just wished that he'd see that.
Please understand.
But he won't, because I hurt him, and he wants to hurt me.
But that's ok, because I already plan on doing that.
I shove Max out of the doorway, and run towards my bedroom.
It's too late.
***
I wake up in the morning feeling happy.
I know that I shouldn't be, because of what might happen, but then again,
Who cares?
I might already be gone by then.
I play Car Radio on my phone, by Twenty One Pilots.

I often ponder of something great,
My lungs will fill, and the deflate.
Filled with fire, exhaled desire,
I know it's dire, my time today.
I have these thoughts, so often I ought,
To replace that slaught, with what I once bought.
Cuz' someone stole my car radio,
And now I just sit in silence.

It fits perfectly for my day today.
But first . . . . . . . . .
I throw on a blue shirt, with some white shorts, and tie back my hair in a ponytail.
Who cares about what I wear today?
I knock on his door, and I see him there.
The boy that's killing me inside.
"We need to talk." I say quickly.
He shakes his head. "And you need to leave."
"Hear me out ok? I lied." I say.
He just laughs.
"Yeah. You lied about you love for me. The love that was never there." He says.
"It was always there." I ague.
"No it wasn't. But that's ok now, because I don't love you either."
Ouch. Slap to the face.
"You don't mean that." I whisper.
"Oh, but I do Avery. I mean every single thing I say! And if that means nothing to you then go! Because I can't tolerate your nonsense right now! So jus-"
"Please don't  yell at me." I say quietly, tears burning my eyes."And I think you're right. I should just leave."
I turn on my heel and leave, with not another word spoken.
***
I just go to the bath tub, and turn the tap on.
I can't do this anymore.
I get the sharpest knife from the draw, and get in the bathtub, my clothes still worn.
I start cutting.
My vision starts to go black at the edges, when I hear a voice.
His voice.
"Avery! I'm sorry! Please! I love you!" He yells, and I laugh.
"Too late." Is all I manage to say, before sinking into whatever world death is.