Merthur - The Blue Butterfly

Chapter 10 - Behind Locked Doors

The shadows tremble on the wall as Morgana waits outside the door, her shaking hands jostling the candlelight that she holds aloft. Here she will find the answer. Here she will learn the truth about herself.

She enters the room, quickly shutting the door behind her before shuffling towards the grate. "Merlin?" she whispers, glancing around in the dimly lit room as though someone is watching her in the shadows. "Merlin? Are you awake?"

"Hm?" Merlin murmurs from below, "Morgana? Is that you? Why are you here so late at night?"

"I-" she hesitates, once again looking around in fear. "I have something I want to ask you."

"Me?" Merlin asks, sitting up, "Can't you talk to Arthur about it?"

"He's speaking with the king right now. Besides, he- I'm afraid of what he'll do if he knows about this." Her voice breaks a little at the end, letting the fear she feels out into the open. She's never been so vulnerable before. Never truly opened up to someone like this.

"Is it really that bad?" Merlins asks with concern.

"Arthur can't know about this. No matter what. If I tell you, you have to promise me you won't tell him."

"I promise, now care to share?"

Morgana chews on her lower lip, once more glancing over her shoulder before continuing in a quiet whisper, "I- I think I have magic."

Merlin has to stifle a gasp as he stumbles back in astonishment. "Magic?" he whispers back, "are you sure?"

"Well, maybe. I don't know. That's why I came to you!"

"What makes you think you have magic?"

Morgana's hands continue shake in her lap. She can't say it. Not aloud. Saying it would mean admitting that it really happened. That's right. It was probably a dream. A bad nightmare. Everything must have been conjured by her mind.

"Magic isn't something you need to fear," Merlin suddenly says with a smile, "It's something wonderful. Something beautiful as long as you use it right." As though to accentuate his words he uses his magic to cause the candle flame to float up into the air and drift in circles around her. "Are you afraid of me?"

The words are quiet, even in the silence of the night, and are just barely above a whisper. Perhaps he had never meant it to be heard but regardless Morgana hears. She hears the silent question, the fear in his voice, the quiver as he speaks. Even Merlin is afraid of himself. Merlin, the boy who was born with magic, who has used it countless times is still afraid. Just like her. The thought brings her comfort. Simply knowing that there is someone else who feels the same way brings her reassurance. "I'm not afraid of you. Of course I'm not," she says, surprising the boy below.

Merlin sends her a sheepish grin. "Thank you."

Morgana returns the smile before she turns to watch the fire float around her. She holds her hand out, letting the light gently drift down into her palm before it flickers out. The darkness surrounds her once more, but for some reason she doesn't seem to notice it. Doesn't allow it to consume her. Instead, she holds the palm of her own hand out and, with a glance down at Merlin, wills a flame to appear in her own hands. She doesn't know how she does it. She can't explain it. Can't even describe it. All she knows is that it feels natural. Right. Like it's something that she should do.

The fire flickers in her palm, bathing the room with a gentle glow of orange. The warmth of the fire spreads through her body, gathering comfortingly in her centre as she stares into the flame. Of all the things she's done in her life she never thought that such a feat would be one of her proudest achievements.