I walk into the room
Scared and prepared
Every year is the same
Family from across the country
Meeting for the holidays
Inside I feel scared and shy
I refuse to show anything
In conflict with the smile on my face
I have changed through the years
No longer ever shy and quiet
And looking for a table to hide beneath
I have hidden my fears away
And now they call me a social butterfly
They are in awe of the metamorphosis
Of the changes I have gone through
And they comment on this realization
That I am happy and talk to people
But they don't realize the pain I feel
With each word of praise
Because the person I was then
Is still here with me to this day
They won't forget the past version of me
She will always be remembered
Like a monument made of stone
And I regret the person they remember me to have been
Their words of praise are knives
That cut me down to build me up
My childhood to them was but a shy, quiet, frowning show
And they did not see me for the person I was behind that drawn curtain
Now I have gone through a metamorphosis
And I am different yet the same
They only see the metamorphosis as beautiful
And do not understand the sorrow and pain in their good-intentioned words
Of how I no longer frown and hide under tables to escape the noise and unfamiliar people
They did not understand the world I had to live in
And did not see the smiles and joy I showed when they were not around to see
