OC Reviews // Mary Sue Destroyer

Rowan Wakefield (C-)

Name: Rowan Wakefield
Origin of name: Irish, meaning 'descendant of Ruhàn' or 'little redhead'
Love the name! Unique, but not ridiculously so
Age: 29 ( So old D:)

Ethnicity: 50% English (Mother's side) 50% Irish ( Father's side)

Gender: Female, however, she is transgender.
Representation!! Yes!!!!

Appearance: Bald, she recovered from cancer a few years ago and she didn't really like her hair anyway, dark brown, soft-shaped eyes. 146lbs. 5"10. She doesn't have a breast size as she wrapped bandages around her chest to stop the development of them. She has a curvy body shape because of them pies. She is slightly muscular, when I say slightly I mean slightly, like it's barely visible.

The cancer can be very sue-ish so be careful. Also, I'm not 100% but I don't think wrapping bandages around your chest prevents your breasts from growing
Scars/Deformities: She has a scar on her left leg due to surgery after a bad car crash at the age of 17. She has no deformities.

I'd choose either the car crash or the cancer, having one can be a bit sue-ish if you aren't careful but having both is major sue alert.

Tattoos/Birthmarks: She has a giant tribal wolf running down her left arm, as they are her favourite animal, and the quote from AoT 'This world is cruel but also beautiful' on her collarbone. She has a small brown birthmark in the shape of a wiggly kite near her right thigh.
Cool, but I'd take out the tribal part, unless she's Native American it doesn't really make sense for her to have a tribal tattoo.
Defining Trait: She is known for having a slip of the tongue for example, She would say I don't want to ever eat testicles when in fact she mean tentacles.

I like this a lot haha

Personality: Rowan is a very anti-social person and will only talk to you if you're a close friend. She rarely opens up to others and doesn't cry or show feelings much. She is a thrill-seeker. If she goes to a theme park she will make sure she goes on every ride, especially the big ones. She also has a thin temper, she will lash out at someone if they annoy her friends or herself too much. She is diligent ( Fancy words :0 ) and puts her blood, sweat and tears into everything she does. She is also very protective of her friends and if you hurt one of them she will most likely hunt you down and hang you from a tree by your underwear. She is very sarcastic and knows how to take a joke. She is self-confident and doesn't care what others think. If she doesn't agree with your opinion she will tell you and if you say that her outfit she is wearing is terrible she'll just flip the bird at you and leave. She also acts like a big kid and her favourite film

Weaknesses: She doesn't work well under pressure and usually loses her temper and lashes out at someone. She is terrible at languages and she'd rather stick with her native language. Also since having cancer she is ever so slightly weaker than before she got the disease.

I like this, except be careful with the anti-social bit, it's pretty typical and sueish, so is the sarcasm. Although, I think the telling people off and anti social part could contradict if you're not careful

I like the languages thing, it's unique
Strengths: She is not taken down easily and if she is pushed down she'll just get straight back up and fight again. She is committed and never gives up, unless she wants to. She is a tough cookie and doesn't give in to for example, bullying or blackmail. She used to do Kung-fu as a kid due to her obsession with Kung-Fu Panda, which she still loves to this day.

Good, good

Likes: Rowan loves to write and draw, she is a skilled artist and usually spends her free time drawing new book characters. She also listens to music 24/7. She listens to bands such as P!ATD, MCR, FOB, System of A Down, Hurts, A Static Lullaby, Queen etc. She loves anime such as AoT, Free!!!Iwatobi Swim Club, Tokyo Ghoul, Yuri!!!On Ice and Pokemon. She also loves Marvel and DC her favourite superheroes being Iron Man, The Flash and Wolverine. She also loves ice cream, specifically mint choc chip and chocolate.

Dislikes: Spiders, Tight Spaces, Snobs, Maths, Languages, Singing, Anything Sexual

Friends: Rowan has two best friends; Dan Williams and Jane Hornsby. They are her closest friends and she wouldn't know what to do without them. She also has a Collie X Springer by the name of Chase ( I have one named Buster...they are adorable and so funny :D )

Sexuality: Asexual
Gender Identity: Male

Again awesome representation, I love it!!

Hobbies/Interests: She loves to listen to music, mostly bands, read, write and draw. She also watches Dreamworks movies a lot as she never truly grew up.

Social Status: History Teacher ( Middle-Class/Professional Class)

Backstory: She was born into a normal family and had a normal education. Although she hates being a girl and tried to stop the development of her breasts so that she could look like a boy. However at the age of 17 she was involved in a car crash where she had to have 2 metal plates in her leg and nearly went blind due to some roam glass. A bit cliche and sue ish not gonna lie This made her a bit more closed off. After that she went back to her normal life until at the ripe age of 25 she was diagnosed with Skin Cancer. With those two combined it's a major sue alert Luckily, as it was diagnosed early, she was able to recover just two years later and go back to her life. Easy and miraculous recovery = sue After this she took better care of herself and started to develop her thrill seeking nature as she wanted to do more before she died, knowing that it really could happen at anytime. I like this A few months later she decided to become a history teacher at the local high-school.

Family: Her mother was a vet by the name of Chloe Peters. Her father was a shopkeeper ( Aldi :3) by the name of Stan Wakefield. Her older brother by 4 years, Gavin was a fireman. She adopted a girl, who she name Amy as she never got into a relationship. 

Adopting is really hard, especially for a single person not to mention a single person who is young. It might be a bit of a stretch to believe that she would be able to adopt a child so young. Also the adopting a kid storyline isn't necessarily sueish but it is cliche

Significant Other/ Crush: She is asexual, meaning she doesn't like either sex, and only ever had one proper boyfriend which lasted for a a few months. She has gone out on dates but it never really went anywhere.

Fandom: Original- Set in 2017 Britain ( Before the events of my first story Void which I haven't published yet)

Awesome!

Overall:

Originality: 5.5/10

I really loved that she is asexual and trans + she sounds like a real person personality wise, however, I think you should work on developing more unique and non-cliche plot points. The cancer, car crash, adopt a kid story line is used way more than it should be. I think you have some good material to work with so try and develop ideas very unique to Rowan.

Interest: 6/10

The representation is awesome so I think that adds a lot of interest, but honestly I've read one too many cancer/car crash books.

Gary Stu: Yes, however has potential and could very easily be made into a unique and completely un-sue character

Grade: C-