My Boy Fills Coffins

Chapter Six - I Thought I Told You Not To Bring Your Work Home!

Chapter Six – I Thought I Told You Not To Bring Your Work Home!

“How the feck did you get seventy eight points?!” I exclaimed, ready to throw the scrabble board at Elijah. He smiled smugly and blew me a mock kiss. After a lovely snack of a can of tuna which took us half an hour to open, Elijah suggested we play scrabble. He had suggested it so innocently, that I thought it was because he genuinely wanted to play for the laugh. Little did I know that he was actually, and I quote, ‘A Scrabble King’ in his school days.

“I got seventy eight points as I used a double and triple word score tile thingy. It’s not my fault you’re so bad at scrabble!” Elijah giggled, and penned down his score. I was losing badly, I needed to distract him. Now. Before he actually won. I had stupidly agreed to the idea that whoever won got to make the loser do something. Seeing as it was Elijah, I was getting a bit worried.  

“How did you not know that the herbs Dora gave you weren’t peppermint but laxatives that time before?” I asked Elijah, and he paled a little. I mean, he was a medicinal herbalist, he should know the difference between tea leaves and laxatives. The memory must be painful for him though. I had never spent three days on the toilet, but I imagine that it would be traumatising to say the least.

Elijah gulped loudly, “Well, she ground them up really finely and mixed them with my dear peppermint leaves that she knew I was going to use for tea. Noah barely escaped the wrath of the laxatives, barely.” I tried to look sympathetic, and withheld the smile that was threatening to escape.

“I leave you two alone for a few hours, and I come home to find you smooching over scrabble and exchanging sob stories about your hardships?” Noah drawled, seeming to just appear out of thin air behind me. I’m sure I jumped about three feet in the air, Elijah just rolled his eyes as if he was used to it.

Noah set a plastic bag on the floor between Elijah and I, and Elijah’s annoyed expression morphed into one of pure delight, “You brought me food?! You brought me precious Chinese food?!” Elijah delved into the bag, throwing prawn crackers around the place happily. “If you didn’t get me my chow mein I’ll chow mein you to pieces.” Elijah threatened, giving Noah that pointed look I had been getting all evening.

“I got your stupid chow mein, relax.” Noah chastised Elijah. For a few brief seconds there, if you had told me that Noah was older I would have believed you. “So, how was my little student’s trip to Dora’s? She’s dead creepy, isn’t she?” Noah continued, returning to us and sitting down cross legged on the floor next to me.

I chuckled at his use of the word dead. “She was a barrel of laughs; she thinks you’re a counsellor. Now tell me, why was Elijah wearing mascara when you guys met?”

For the first time since we had met, Noah turned a lovely shade of scarlet. It wasn’t like a normal person’s blushing. Noah’s quick flush spread from the back of his neck to his ears, to his cheeks. It was a crimson so vivid, it matched Elijah’s hair.

Speaking of Elijah, the man himself promptly burst into a fit of laughter. “You see, I dressed up as a member of the female species for the day as a dare. I even waxed my legs for the dress. I was dedicated back then. I headed off to a club with my cousin who had dared me. I didn’t even have both feet in the door before Noah here had approached me and was flirting his little arse off. Believe it or not, he was so drunk he couldn’t tell I was male. He carted me off to the bathroom; I think to have his wicked way with me. He realized I was male after he had taken half his clothes off. It was quite superb.”

While Elijah was telling me of their meeting, Noah had clamped his eyes shut as if he was hoping he could just shut us out. “It isn’t my fault you look feminine in a certain light! And besi-“ Noah had begun to argue back but he never got to finish his sentence, because at that exact moment we were rudely interrupted.