("The One Thing" I do not own it but I own this.)
Hamilton: *sitting on bar table* Another story I heard about myself, this one happened in high school. Uh, we had this teacher in high school who's kid went to our high school, his name was Thomas Jefferson and his friend James Madison went to our high school. He was a vice president and I was a solider, so I was behind him. And Thomas Jefferson was an asshole, and one weekend he and Sally decided to leave town. Which you should never do if you're an asshole, and James Madison decided to throw a party at the vice president's house. Hooraaayyy!! And everyone around town heard about it and we all got up individually and thought,
"Okay, let's go over there and destroy the place." I walked into this party, everyone I have ever met was there and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world. People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off. It was totally unsupervised. We were like dogs without horses we were running wild. I walked down to the basement and they had a pool table in the basement, and Marquis de Lafayette took a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half. Another soldier found out which room was Thomas Jefferson's room and went upstairs and took a shit on his computer. So the party was going great. I'm standing in the basement and I'm holding a red cup, you know like you've seen in movies, and I'm standing there and I'm holding a red cup and I'm starting to black out. And I guess someone said like,
"Something, something, King George." and in a brilliant moment of word association I yelled,
"FUCK KING GEORGE!!! FUCK KING GEORGE!!!" and everyone else joined in. A hundred, drunk troops yelling,
"FUCK"
"KING"
"GEORGE"
And the confidence of Samuel Seabury who have been beaten up while telling speeches stood there reading after that, like not afraid of it anymore, you know like
"I SERVED MY NICKEL!!! YOU COME AND FIGHT ME!!!" confidence. The reason someone had said,
"Something, something, King George." was because the British were there. So the British walked down the stairs and got to the bottom of the basement and looked over a sea of drunk troops yelling,
"FUCK KING GEORGE!!!" in their face, and he was almost depressed. He's like,
"Woooow...." and he leaned into his walkie-talkie and went,
"Get the paddy wagon!" and my friend Aaron Burr who was now a father, this man now has a baby, he grabs a bottle of Sam Adams, and smashed it on the ground and yelled,
"SCATTEEEEEERRRR!!!!!!" and everyone ran into different directions. We all ran in different directions. It was like that scene in Ratatouille when the humans come into the kitchen and all the rats go in different ways, we all ran if different directions. I ran into the laundry room and I jumped up on George Washington and I crawled out of a window into the backyard and now I'm running through the backyard and there's this big chain fence and I thought,
"I never climbed a fence that high before!" and then I woke up at home. On Monday, I went to school, because that's what we did back then. And I walk into the school building and who do I see? James Madison, and he says to me,
"Hey, were you at my party on Saturday?" and I said,
"No." you know, like a liar, and he says,
"Things got really out-of-hand. Someone broke the pool table, someone took a shit on the vice president's computer. But the worse thing he says, the worse is that someone stole these old antique photos of horses, and he's freaking out about it." and I had that thought, that only black-out drunks, and John Laurens can have. Did... did I do that? I figured no, I wouldn't of done that, but I was never sure. Until two years later. Relax. I'm playing video games with my friend named Hercules Mulligan that we also went to high school with. Two years later we graduated by now. We're playing video games for a couple hours and then Hercules says to me,
"Hey, come here. I wanna show you something." and he takes me into his bedroom, and then he takes me into a side-room off of his bedroom. Never a good thing to have. He shows me a tiny room that is covered wall-to-wall in stolen antique photos from different people's parties over the years, and I said,
"Whyyyyy....? Why do you do this...?" and Hercules said,
"It's the one thing you can't replace."
